Depression

Originally posted by Phil Arcuni ... Severe depression is not the blues, and far more serious than you being upset about declining times. ... I think Phil, that your "...you being upset about declining times.", and "...keep your bad advice to something like swimming.", are simplistic. "Severe depression..." for example can occur in my life in instances related to immigration conditions, and the offering of mind altering drugs by doctors. That's why I wrote my previous post. Have you tried immigration anywhere, and been challenged by unofficial reality? Aside from this "...you being upset about declining times." and "...keep your bad advice to something like swimming." nonsense in the context of the thread, my previous post is of encouragement suggestions from my life only in Romania, France, Canada and US, not of professional medical advices which are beyond me.

I applaud Tom for having the courage to post his recent experiences and I agree that he will find that severe depression is more widespread than a lot of us realize and that many of us use swimming/exercise to combat the symptoms. Some of the comments and advice generated by his openess have been excellent and the general support has been heartwarming. I do think it is important to remember that it is up to Tom and his doctors to come up with the optimal treatment plan as this is a life-threatening disease. As with all medical problems discussed on the web, we should use caution when getting non-medical advice and contact the appropriate medical professional for help with medical problems. I am thinking about you Tom and things will get better. Jody Welborn, M.D.

Dear Tom, ADD (Attention Deficit Disorder) and depression run in my family. I have a chartable cyclical depression. My middle child and my mother can go into one with me on the same day, even though we are all in different states and are not even communicating on that day. Depression comes from many sources. Bio-chemical imbalances, life circumstances and even our own thoughts can cause it. There is no easy line of demarkation sometimes. I am in the deepest place I've been in many years. I think Jim Thornton may have written to you about me. Today I was driving and suddenly a great weight almost pushed me down into my seat... yes, it was emotional, but physical too. Out of the blue. All I could do was cry... How do I cope? Number one is that I recognize that it is not my "fault." It just is. Number two is that I know God loves me and if He wants me, He can have me. So far I'm still here, so He must think I'm worth keeping around here a while longer. I yelled at Him today, "Why didn't you take me when you had your chances?!!!" I think I heard some distant chortling. Hey, maybe I'm entertainment... that'd be cool. I think it might be a really nice thing if I could make God laugh. Reading the Bible, prayer and fellowship aren't just for little children and old people ready to die. Oh yes, definition of fellowship: Some fellows in the same ship. And that's Number three: I refuse to give up my sense of humor. My motto is "Go down laughing!" Number four is as important as any: Don'y hide it from those who will support you. Talk about it. Share your feelings... in appropriate ways of course, but be open to others. This is what you have done here, and you can see from this that you are not alone. Number five is "Keep moving." Only a moving ship can be steered. Work out (physical release is great for the rest of you). Visit people. I write essays and poetry and music sometimes. Go do something you enjoy. Force yourself to get up ad just do it. Or like I do sometimes, get pissed; use anger to focus your resolve not to let it beat you. All these combine to lift you in mind, body and spirit. Number six is to get professional help if you need it, including medication. There is nothing wrong in getting help. If your car's engine is misfiring, you'll take it to the repair shop for a tuneup, won't you? Anyway, I hope I don't sound "preachy". Just trying to be succinct. Hang in there. You are tougher and better than any mere feeling. In your boat, Andre Weisbrod

To all of you who have shared your thoughts, advice, life stories and feelings, I want you to know that I am heart felt, moved and touched. I sincerely appreciate the kindness demonstrated here and the great advice. I never dreamed I would be ill like this and frankly it has taken a serious toll on my self esteem and my dignity. Having said that, I have three beautiful children that I love a great deal. Mark in MD has so helpfully pointed this out while attempting to guide me through this over the past few months. He has told me many times that I must go on and live for them if nothing else. He is right, but as we witnessed in Jerry's case, sometime this illness wins over our loveed ones, children, family, friends, ourselves and of coarse reality. Masters swimmers like Greg and Jennifer who are team mates of mine have been a God send during this ordeal. Support from people who are my friends and now from people I have never met have kept me from the brink... I will continue to fight this illness. Again, thank you all for you kind words and support. Tom

My family has suffered through a decade of severe depression by our mother. There is nothing I have encountered as upsetting and frustrating as a loved one with depression. Not being a doctor, all I can relate is that a good psychiatrist and an understanding family/friends are the beginning of working your way to good mental health. I wish you all the best in your struggle and will pray for you. I was severly angered by Ion's response to just basically buck it up and get over it, eat some ice cream and watch a movie. Depression is terrible and not just some sort of blues episode. Do not try to manage this without professional help. I don't want to get into it with Ion on this. The focus is you and your health.

Tom - I don't know you personally, and will not even pretend to know what you are going through. I just want you to know that there are many fellow-swimmers out here who are behind you. I will keep you in my thoughts daily, and will pray for a positive turn in your life. Continue the good fight; we all care about you.

Tom, I was so glad to read that you are continuing the fight. You have been in my thoughts and prayers and will continue to be.

As is so painfully obvious from this thread, depression is a horribly devastating illness that affects many of us. It is timely that Thursday, October 10th is National Depression Screening Day. You may be interested to check out this website: www.nmisp.org/depression.htm If you or your loved ones have symptoms of depression, I urge you to seek help. Mary Pohlmann, MD, Ph.D

Tom - Continue to share your thoughts with us. One of the very very hardest parts is understanding and admitting that indeed, there is a problem. You are not the first, nor will you be the last person, to deal with a frightening ordeal like this. Many have come before and survived. I was very close to someone who was dealing with depression and borderline personality disorder, and she spent several weeks in the hospital as a result. The subsequent emotionally destrictive crumbling of our relationship landed me in some short-term (but hopeless at the time) depression. For me, it look a lot of effort to finally go see someone who could help, and I got the help I needed. The hopelessness is horrible. I still remember those long nights of deep deep hopelessness. What got me through was a good friend whom I trusted. Even though I was hopeless, I trusted that friend enough when she said there was hope. Even though I couldn't see it, if she could, that gave me the faintest glimmer of hope. Don't be afraid or ashamed of yourself. You still have people around you who love you dearly. Try to reach out to them a bit. What also helped me was that I had a small number of good friends that I could call on literally at any time. If the world started to spin around me, I could pick up the phone, and almost always find a friendly voice that I trusted, who could at least talk me through a small crisis. Hang in there. It's not going to be easy. It's not always going to be fun. Depression is a disease, and it has terrible lows. But you _can_ get through this. -Rick

Tom, My thoughts and prayers are with you at this time. Please remember there are people who love you and care about you. Talk to them!! Surround yourself with caring, supporting, listening people.