A) Order FS Pro's for you and your wife before nationals
B) Try on your suit and comment how great it feels...wife can't get into her's
C) Make a stupid comment about wife not getting into the suit and chuckle
D) Run away very fast
E) Tell John Smith (big mistake)
F) John Smith text messages said wife and asks how she likes the new suit
G) Apply ice to right shoulder from bruise received while driving and wife gets message
H) Bonus: getting to sleep with the dog all week
Former Member
Worlds collide, worlds collide!!!!!!
The Great Pumpkin has spoken.
I hate yardwork, I vow to never mow my lawn again. I gave away all lawn work items years ago. I don't do housework or repairs of any sort either. I have no skills, no desire to have any skills and therefore am completely repellant to my wife, which is understandable.
I can install ceiling fans, usually on the first try. I'm good with super glue also.
A. Buy your wife hand paddles for her 40th birthday
This seem like a passive aggressive way to get your wife to quit swimming, to me.
I have no skills either, and no plans to get any. Even with my inhaler in hand to treat my imaginary adult-onset allergies/asthma, I won't go near mulch or leaf piles.
No, ViveBene....Smith by Marriage would have wanted a lawn SERVICE, not a lawn MOWER!!! But alas, because now I'm the proud owner of the mower, I AM the lawn service. I heard it's good exercise, however.
And please, I hope that none of you are fooled. Paul is not, will not, and has never been in the "driver's seat". I hold the keys.
Did Smith by Marriage want the lawnmower?
I ask bec. one year I requested an electric drill with an array of drill bits and got in response a 3-page single-spaced letter (from distant family dear) on why I did not want an electric drill, said letter accompanying some crocheted garment hangers picked up at a yard sale.
And real lawnmowers, the push kind, are frightfully expensive these days. A high-value item!:agree:
How to Avoid Sex During a Taper...and Pre-Season...and Mid-Season....and Off-Season.....
B. Buy your wife snorkle (and lawnmower) for Christmas (then spend rest of day on USMS forum)
He bought you a LAWNMOWER for christmas? I'd only do that if I wanted to die and was too chicken to commit suicide directly.
-LBJ
First of all it's my mower and I'm man enough to admit I'm not man enough to use the damn thing....who buys a friggin push mower these days anyway>
Second; Mr. Classen your confusing me with John
Finally; given that my wife finally got herself into the suit and happened to swim out of her mind while wearing it this past weekend (unrested 200 back time would have been 1st in the rankings for 2007)...I'm back in the "drivers seat" so to speak!!! :lolup:
....who buys a friggin push mower these days anyway...
Well... I did. It's actually much less work, in my tiny 32' city lot, than trying to muscle a power mower around 180 degrees every five minutes. Much as I'd love to write it up in my exercise journal as a "workout", it just isn't that strenuous. An added bonus is, I can mow at 6:00 a.m. during hot spells and it doesn't make a scary banging noise when I go over a poplar root.
You know it says something when a thread about sex turns into a thread about lawn mowers.
Actually the thread is about "avoiding" sex.........
I live in a highrise and don't have a lawn mower.
