Swimming on your Period?

One more thought and then I'll try to shut up. It occurs to me, ML, that you might need to sit back and evaluate your coaching. Your two posts concern me in that they sound awfully judgmental for a middle school swim coach (both about the girls and their parents). You might ask yourself if there is a reason these girls don't want to swim. Are you making sure you are including the (very important--IMO) element of fun in practices? At this age level (and non-USAS) that's a pretty big deal. Maybe you're good about all that, but it's worth looking at for a moment. Too much intensity at this level is sort of silly. And, maybe if there were some kind of incentive to be in practice more, more girls would find ways to get in the water despite their bodies. Maybe you have some kind of fun reward for swimming so many practices a month? You'll catch way more bees* with honey than with vinegar, or so they say...

You've got a tough situation there which is similar to the one that ruined the team my daughter is on a few years ago: About four 12-14 year old females, only one of which was any good, getting dropped off and then playing on the golf-course, walking by the pool and generally being disruptive when in the pool. I understand each of those kids is worth 80-100 dollars a head, but many of the serious swimmers left for other teams because of the disruption caused by these four swimmers who eventually quit anyway. The main problem you have is kids run the earth. If I got in trouble at practice, my parents would be mad at me; now it must be something the coach did. Parents don't back teachers or coaches at all. I say if you can afford it, get rid of them and their sorry parents who buy in to their kid's load of crap. This isn't about periods; it's about lazy kids and miserable parenting.:blah: Was this a USAS team? Makes a BIG difference.

Sounds like a school team. I did much of the training for my daughter this fall to get her ready for HS, and also was the representing coach for the two girls from her school for sectionals(no HS team). One thing I did with her was to try and think of dry-land work-outs that were hard but beneficial for her swimming. Don't make the dry-land a punishment, but use it to do things that will aid their swimming and that you normally do not have time for during regular swim practice. Running is beneficial for swimming, most girls this age have poor core strength and poor upper body strength. Hamstrings are usually weak, flexibility can be poor in some of them. Work on these things, but make them worthwhile and beneficial. This is not a by for them, just a different type of work-out. They should be sore from it. My daughter recognized that exercise does make her feel better, but is also intimidated to go to practice with boys in the water with her(she has to practice with the club team). At sectionals, both she and the other girl were having their periods, but it was not as much of an issue. It was all girls, and since they were comfortable with me, they talked to me about their fears, and I helped them with that. They also supported each other(doing the subtle checks for leaks and such). They both swam well, and were happy when they left....and both said it really sucked that this happened on their big meet. These girls are 15 and 16, with younger girls it is much harder, they are making an uneasy transition, and for many girls, it is hard.

I am very torn on this. I have had tampons fail and know the embarrassment that comes with it.I also know that swimming actually makes it easier to deal with the cramping and makes me generally feel better afterwards. But after my little mishap I am always paranoid while I swim and upon exiting the pool, and I seriously can't relax anymore. So on the worst days it just is not worth the trouble. I also have a 10 year old that I am praying won't have to deal with this until she is in her mid teens, but you bet that I will talk to her that it is not something to be used "lightly" as an excuse. Good luck on your 10 year old. I thought my daughter would be much older because she was teeny tiny. Nope, 2 months after her 12th birthday and then her body changed in another 2 months(shocking her poor dad). I think it is more dependant on genetics than size of body.

gobears - I'm going to have to take issue with you here. You seem to have in your mind that I think girls are delicate little flowers. It appears that you did not read my posts on my suggestion towards those that chose to sit out. Why in the world would you think a former female triathlete would view girls as being delicate flowers? My view is no different than what dorothy expressed. I've coached a female to go on and swim 4 years for a Division I school in the SEC. She will tell you that I certainly do not allow for petty excuses and probably was one of the hardest coaches she ever had. I, however, have watched a young lady close to my family with an eating disorder sitting on death's doorstep several times. I have had a sister of a close friend die at 16 from complications connected to anorexia. I take very seriously girls being overly pushed and controlled. Again, I think dorothy's response is right on the point here. I think we're saying mostly the same thing. It's just that you and George seem to think ML should not require anything of these girls to weed out the ones with true problems from the ones that are using this as an excuse. I never accused you of thinking women were delicate flowers (though I do wonder about George, given his comments). What I did say was: "I don't think George or Elise are allowing for the idea that some of your girls are just being lazy." And that's what I meant. I do think, given ML's representation of the numbers, that some of the girls are being manipulative. You and George seem to be saying (and correct me if I'm wrong) that a note from Mom and some accountability is extreme. I don't happen to think so. I agree that Dorothy's post was right on. I said so. All that said, I think you are mixing up topics here to some extent. What does the prevalence of eating disorders have to do with any of this? Of course a coach shouldn't be making comments about weight (ML--take note) but that's not the issue here. No one is saying these girls have to swim because they are fat pigs if they don't! They should swim because they signed up to swim! I don't think you are really advocating that the coach should let the girls run the show and do whatever the heck they feel like doing just so they don't feel at all "controlled." Life is full of rules and standards. Girls have to get used to that just like anyone else.

I am very torn on this. I have had tampons fail and know the embarrassment that comes with it.I also know that swimming actually makes it easier to deal with the cramping and makes me generally feel better afterwards. But after my little mishap I am always paranoid while I swim and upon exiting the pool, and I seriously can't relax anymore. So on the worst days it just is not worth the trouble. I also have a 10 year old that I am praying won't have to deal with this until she is in her mid teens, but you bet that I will talk to her that it is not something to be used "lightly" as an excuse.

It would seem for me you can't judge how much you may bleed from one month to the other, but tampons are obviously the best solution to go for. So swimming in the water at the pool is FINE...UNTIL>.... ...until you get OUT the pool - yikes! Because 'that area' is already wet, it increases the likelyhood of leaking at the bottom part of the tampon and picks up blood and it can then exit and run down wet legs!! I have not experienced that in public as such (! - made damn sure it would NOT, EVER), but know that if I don't get to the bathroom/shower changing rooms quickly after a swim and have period, I feel very very conscious of it. Perhaps the solution for the kids is to let the girls go to the bathroom without issue after a workout - let them deal with it, then come back to the pool side. So to exercises OUT the pool after a workout - that would be hell on earth for me if I could not get to the loo, and I'm 35!! Also I know that coughing, doing jerky movements ALSO has the potential for me to cause leaks - now add a skimpy wet swimming costume and you're in trouble. It's hard for women - well we get used to it, we make a few excuses, but we adapt - we have to...! I mean, let me ask - what WOULD you think if YOU saw a girl who was leaking doing sit-ups? It would be a massive humiliation...wouldn't it? Hope this helps.So... let me fully understand. It's only a problem after they get out? So, at tomorrows meet, the one girl who is on her period (we had 6 the day before, but today it was one, obviously they think they wont get to swim if they miss the day before) so if I had a girl there with a towel to cover her up after words, do you think it would work? They have sweats they can wear at meets, and during practice we do sit ups before we even get in. Regardless, I'm trying to tread very carefully with this issue. I called the parent of this girl who missed today, and I took her out of one of the races. Her dad was very understanding and I think I convinced him to encourage her to swim. And, here's the thing, when I talked to the parents, they said that their daughter just didn't want to be humiliated. I didn't ask this, but what's there to be humiliated about? She's on a girl's swim team. All the girls have this problem. Are the parents going to laugh? Boys? Can't it be avoided with a towel? I mean, I didn't want to command the parent and I kept a soft polite tone, but c'mon. As far as the six kids sitting out during practice. I think I will have another talk, I will write a letter to the parents, and I've started keeping track of the girls who miss practice. I had one girl out Wednesday before Thanksgiving, she's still out. She's obviously lying, and lucky me, she wondered off during practice, instead of doing the dry land workout, then came in with her coat on, ready to leave. When I asked her where she was, she proudly said, "chillin'." So I sent her home while everybody was watching. I think it sent a message, we mean business. I only wish I had thought of saying, "Well, you can chill at home. So go home." Don't you hate when those catchy lines come to you after the time to use them has passed?

Well, you are working with a fairly tough age-group. I coached kids that age and taught 7th grade civics and 8th grade world history at my child's school. I can relate to what you are dealing with. What I used to tell kids that age was that I would treat them like adults until they proved to me why I should not. This seemed to be very effective. It respected their independence yet when they decided to act immature, the consequences were serious. For example, if the girls skipped practice to go to a basketball game, the punishment should be that they are not allowed to swim in the next meet. Don't threaten; show you mean business. Since some of these girls feel comfortable enough to tell you about their classes, talk to them about why they are letting themselves down by not trying their best. Find a way to show them that you believe in them. Kids work hard for coaches that believe in them. Many of the troubled ones and apathetic ones actually crave this from somebody. You are in a position to make a very positive difference in somebody's life. Be positive, but firm.

I know some USA teams would never tolerate this situation. As I said before, the girls that are going to want to excel will find a way to minimize the impact their period has on their swimming. Those are the types of girls that will swim in a top level practice in a USA group. I have a problem, though, with the idea that age-group swimming is only for the elite. There are young ladies that desire to compete in swimming that may just want to be low-key about it and not swim when they are having their periods or want to miss a practice to go to a dance. This should be o.k. for a teenager to do. I'm particularly concerned about one 7th grade girl. She's miles above everyone else, one of my best swimmers, and she seems to be friends with the lazy ones who don't seem to care. I've got 2 in particular that seem to be influencing her in a negative way. Today, a group of 4 of them tried to skip practice to watch their schools basketball game, which happened during practice. Three weren't very good swimmers. All of them were seventh graders, and one was that one good swimmer. I gave them all strikes, and then an hour into practice (we had free time for an hour, which I planned to do on Friday, but nobody showed up today so we did it today instead) and I gave them all the chance to get that strike removed if they swam for the second half of practice. One was particularly indecisive... and I don't know why. One had to go home... which has been a constant problem with her... I've had to call her mom to see if I can get her to stay longer than an hour (practice is 2 hours). One has been on her period for the past 11 days... I don't think she wants to be on the team, and one forgot her suit - she's the good swimmer. Normally, when they forget their suit I give them a strike and tell them they can work it off by doing a dry land work out. It sorta warns them, but doesn't let them miss a practice. She said she wanted to find a suit, but then couldn't' find it, so I told her she could do the dry land work out, and she didn't want to, claiming that her shoes were slippery. The girls at this school have a reputation for being spoiled. They used to skip practice for basketball games all the time. They used to work out for maybe 45 minutes tops. The other coach had no control of the team. They're really not used to being held responsible for showing up and trying hard. I've had to have two speeches where I simply said, "I don't care if you can't do it. I care if you don't try."

In light of the history of this team, it sounds like a parent/team meeting may be in order. The issues go way beyond tampons and attitude. I can only relate to this as a parent by using my son's hockey team as an example. Each coach lays out very specificially what is excused (nothing) and what is expected (100% at all times, no absences, no excuses--at age appropraite levels). Parents go into the season knowing this ahead of time. The boys are expected to call the coach if they are late or not able to be there, not the parents. Boys sign contracts about behavior, attitude, etc. I could go on, but you get the gist. At my son's level, it is very structured with high expectations. At the club level, rules are much more lenient, however the coach still lays out expectations and appropriate behavior WITH the parents and players at a meeting.