Swimming on your Period?

First, lighten-up. These aren't pro swimmers or top level college swimmers...they are, as you said...MIDDLE SCHOOL girls. You admitted they are being shy about the whole thing. Trying to make their lives "hell" won't help you or them. Instead of taking the hard ass approach, try talking to them and their parents. Find out if they are scared,embarrassed or if they just don't want to swim. I agree with Dennis on the point of explaining your training plan to them. If they do want to swim, let them know it is ok to swim. If they don't, then suggest that they take up activities that they enjoy...even offer to help them get in contact with the coach/instructor of that activity. Having coached middle school aged kids, trying to use scare tactics,etc. on them isn't a good idea. A lot of these kids are shy and don't understand what is happening and it can be hard on them. If they were in high school or older, you could use a harder approach, they aren't though.

These girls just want to get out of practice. I can remember that when I was that age, the girls all wanted to start using tampons as SOON as possible. (As one of my friends put it, "Wearing pads feels like someone is following you around all day with their hand between your legs.") In fact, as I recall, the girls who were still using pads were "looked down on" by their peers. So it's hard for me to believe that none of the girls on the team uses tampons. I knew a swimmer who was cognitively disabled. She had grown up swimming. She was in her 30s and for whatever reason couldn't or wouldn't use tampons. So you know what she did? She safety-pinned a pad to the inside of her swimsuit.

I seem to remember that periods could be very heavy at that age, and that there was always a dragged-out tired feeling for a couple days leading up to and the first or second day of. They may be worried that a tampon is not enough, and they may feel heavy, tired and lifeless. And even in this day and age some mothers may not be letting them use them, fearing the toxic shock thing. (Which is unlikely to happen in a two hour time frame, of course.)

I think it is a combo of things here. They can sense your discomfort with the topic and some may be exploiting that. Some may be anxious about leakage or feeling really bad during their menses. There is probably general confusion about what happens when a bleeding girl gets in the water, how a tampon prevents leaks, etc. I have some sympathy-I started swimming at 37 and had to come here and ask this question in order to feel comfortable swimming while on my period. I didn't get the talk when I was a girl because I didn't swim. I think the best approach is to recognize that these are children and individuals. They aren't a herd. They are probably swimming for a variety of reasons-parental pressure, to be with their best friend, or a love of swimming. They probably won't respond well to a heavy handed approach. In your shoes I'd do several firm, respectful, compassionate things: I'd have a frank group talk about the problem, discuss why it is a problem from a training standpoint to miss a week out of every month, and let them know that if there are girls among them who simply do not want to swim at all and are using this as a means to avoid getting in the pool, that is perfectly fine. They can choose another sport or hobby, but that they need to make that choice. If there are girls among them who feel really truly terrible on their periods, mention OTC pain control and let them know that tampons really do work, ask them how they think their female swim heros got to where they were (by sitting out 7 out of 30 days? Not likely!). As a teacher I've had fantastic results with keeping an open line of communication with parents, involving them in what is going on in the form of letters. I think it is a good idea to let the parents know that your team is having this problem, how you have addressed it (better they hear it in YOUR words than from the kids- "coach told us to use tampons or we are off the team!") and to ask for their help in resolving this delicate problem. Some parents may not want their daughters to use tampons. I had a kid in my musical theater production class that was of a fundamentalist christian sect that did not permit dancing. She had to march in place while the cast sang and danced around her. Sometimes you have to adapt!

I agree wholeheartedly with Vive. Tampons are not for everyone, and for you, or anyone, to make that decision for them is, IMO, wrong. It is their body and only they can make the decision of what to put into it (forgive the phrasing). At the same time, I can attest to the fact that physical exercise is the best way for ME to alleviate the "ickiness" of that time of the month. When your girls get to the point where swimming is more important than the tampon issue, they will be in the pool. But that time is up to them, not you.

Personally, I think that sitting out is a bad excuse. I'm with Anita: swimming is the best thing to relieve the "ickiness"! I also know the educational system, and having a male coach try to address this issue only opens a can of worms. Is there a female (an older girl on the team, a 'hometown swimming hero') that could come in and speak to these girls?

Well, I understand fully the concerns of young girls/girls and women in general who may back off swimming because of the dreaded 'curse' each month. Let's just put it this way for all males out there: - a period is similar to a nose bleed. The number one fear most have, like myself (I will admit) is 'leakage'. Not all tampons can hold the amount a female may bleed and it will leak from time to time - specially if you're not sure of the signs it's coming on. Obviously the older you get, the more you understand your signs etc. It would seem for me you can't judge how much you may bleed from one month to the other, but tampons are obviously the best solution to go for. So swimming in the water at the pool is FINE...UNTIL>.... ...until you get OUT the pool - yikes! Because 'that area' is already wet, it increases the likelyhood of leaking at the bottom part of the tampon and picks up blood and it can then exit and run down wet legs!! I have not experienced that in public as such (! - made damn sure it would NOT, EVER), but know that if I don't get to the bathroom/shower changing rooms quickly after a swim and have period, I feel very very conscious of it. Perhaps the solution for the kids is to let the girls go to the bathroom without issue after a workout - let them deal with it, then come back to the pool side. So to exercises OUT the pool after a workout - that would be hell on earth for me if I could not get to the loo, and I'm 35!! Also I know that coughing, doing jerky movements ALSO has the potential for me to cause leaks - now add a skimpy wet swimming costume and you're in trouble. It's hard for women - well we get used to it, we make a few excuses, but we adapt - we have to...! I mean, let me ask - what WOULD you think if YOU saw a girl who was leaking doing sit-ups? It would be a massive humiliation...wouldn't it? Hope this helps.

There happens to be a fear of using tampons for some children and parents. So they miss a few practices and sit out what is the problem with that. They should still go to practice and do some land stuff. They should not even be required to give a reason for their days off. It seems to me coach you are not supposed to inquire what the reason is. Unless they are missing massive amounts of practice you should not be concerned. Male coaches should not even discuss this type of situation with young girls it could be conceived as abuse.

In middle/high school having your period was an excuse to get out of swimming in gym class...but NEVER an excuse to get out of swim practice. I think it's just fabrication to get out of practice.

My point is that this is a dangerous area, so the coach simply needs to tread carefully. I have no doubt that some are using it as an excuse, but there may be a few that are not. I'd rather err on the side of giving the benefit of the doubt rather than approaching the group with the idea in my head that they are all sitting out because they just don't feel like following the rules. I think enough women on here have made the point that girls need to be the ones to make a decision regarding how they want to handle dealing with their period. There should be allowances for girls to sit out for the reasons discussed above (not wanting to wear tampons or having difficulty with period). Imagine a rule or policy stating the following: "In order to remain on the team, girls are expected to swim through their periods. Girls are expected to wear tampons so that they can swim through their period." In a public school setting, do you think such a rule would be allowed to stand? I'm sure if I did my legal research, I could find some legal problems with such a rule. My theory is that if it can't be done in a public school, then even in a private club where it can be done, better tread very carefully. I know some USA teams would never tolerate this situation. As I said before, the girls that are going to want to excel will find a way to minimize the impact their period has on their swimming. Those are the types of girls that will swim in a top level practice in a USA group. I have a problem, though, with the idea that age-group swimming is only for the elite. There are young ladies that desire to compete in swimming that may just want to be low-key about it and not swim when they are having their periods or want to miss a practice to go to a dance. This should be o.k. for a teenager to do. Basically, I think there is probably a way to reasonably accomodate the situation without having to have harsh rules or demands. Generally, I think kids under 14, males and females, are pushed way too hard in our society. We seem to live in a truly mixed up society containing overachieving/burned-out kids and kids who get to run the show. As a society we seem to either expect too much or bend over backwards to make sure everybody and everything is accomodated.