Swimming Stereotypes

Former Member
Former Member
Equipment Rep Trains with every piece of equipment available at all times. The Luddite Trains with nothing. Only uses a loin cloth and goggles in workout. The Barnacle Leaves right on your feet. Couldn't count to five or ten if his life depnded on it. The Coach Not an actual coach, but someone who is consumed with technique. Swimming is a precise set of moves that can be broken down, categorized, and scientifically analyzed. The Jaded Could care less about technique. Just wants to swim and leave the analysis to the eggheads. The Swimaholic Trains at least 10 swimming workouts a week. Anything less is viewed as not trying. Fast Guy who Never Trains Shows up once a month and breaks national records in practice. Hardest Working Man in the Swim Business Trains like a ferocious animal in workout, but has no speed when it comes to racing. Lane Guy Works out in a lane that is far too fast or slow for him. The Crack Guy Dude, pull your swimsuit up or get a bigger size. The Newbie Shows up to practice in board shorts and a scuba mask. _________________ As for myself, I would fall into the categories of Luddite and Jaded. Also, I wrote this from a male perspective, but the women are included as well. Any other stereotypes?
  • The screaming:blah: coach of an age group team that keeps to kids in the water after our start time !!!:censor::censor:
  • The Human Pylon - Elderly man who stands exactly halfway down the pool and does a stationary water aerobics workout with foam dumbbells. What THP's workout lacks in intensity, it makes up for in length and lack of movement. While similar to a noodler, he is not one of them because a) he leaves before their class starts, and b) they actually move their feet. I shared a lane with THP this morning; it might be the first time I've ever done a workout with an object stationed in the middle of my lane like that. It's been about a week of having THP around, and I gotta say, I've gained a newfound respect for noodlers. They move. He doesn't. This morning when I walked out of the locker room, a lady who water-walks in the end lane was beaming at me. She's always smiling and cheerful, but this was something different. There was something devious going on there. After we exchanged good mornings, she suggested that I share a lane with THP. Neither of us was able to keep a straight face. I opted to share with someone else. I talked to her some more later and apparently she had been trying to trick THP into moving his feet all morning. Inviting him to come over to her lane so swimmers could swim unobstructed, that sort of thing. He wouldn't do it, he kept saying "not unless I have to," so she tried to send me (a butterflyer) in there so she could up the ante on him. So I also have a newfound respect for devious water walkers :lmao:
  • THP sounds useful. You can work on perfecting your open water buoy turns around him!
  • THP sounds useful. You can work on perfecting your open water buoy turns around him! I would've tried to see how many lengths of fly it would take down the middle of the lane to get him to move out of the lap lanes.
  • I would've tried to see how many lengths of fly it would take down the middle of the lane to get him to move out of the lap lanes. Two
  • I would've tried to see how many lengths of fly it would take down the middle of the lane to get him to move out of the lap lanes. I share nicely. In the workout where I split the lane with him, I did 700 yards of fly. There was no physical contact between us. I was there to swim, and that's what I did. :angel:
  • I very nearly ran over a Speed Bump in tonight's swim. I was doing my 100s and apparently a little one came into the lap lanes to retrieve the big beach ball from the open swim on the other half of the pool. Saw him at the last second and avoided him. Apparently his parents didn't teach him about looking both ways before stepping into moving traffic. :) I like that! It's beginning to get perilous at our pool too, school's out in a week, and the kids are just so exuberant, they don't think about things before they do them!! One of the nice things about swimming at 5:30am - only people in the pool are lap swimmers & team.
  • I share nicely. In the workout where I split the lane with him, I did 700 yards of fly. There was no physical contact between us. I was there to swim, and that's what I did. :angel: I very nearly ran over a Speed Bump in tonight's swim. I was doing my 100s and apparently a little one came into the lap lanes to retrieve the big beach ball from the open swim on the other half of the pool. Saw him at the last second and avoided him. Apparently his parents didn't teach him about looking both ways before stepping into moving traffic. :)
  • The Unknown Rival: Never saw this guy in the pool before this morning, but he's in the lane next to me, swimming the same distance / interval. In this case, 100 on the 100. We are about the same speed. Am I watching him? Oh yes, the whole way, every interval. Racing, but trying to appear not to be racing; no obvious thrashing. Actually made for a good workout. Who is that guy anyway?
  • Who is that guy anyway? I'm your worst nightmare. Wait, what are we talking about again?