Swimming Stereotypes

The Unduck You're expecting her brood to follow her around like well-behaved little magnets, but of course they don't. She's invisible at first, hiding out somewhere, so you interrupt your workout to make sure these where-the-heck-did-they-come-from, shockingly-tiny, otherwise-unguarded little ducklings don't drown. When she finally does show up, she's The Unduck. The ducklings are everywhere. Even though there are only four of them, they somehow manage to occupy every lane, sit on every lane rope, and dogpaddle across the width of the pool, lane rope to lane rope, for the next 15 minutes. They're ducklings, they're actually pretty good in the water. You wanna say, "Hey get off my lawn!", but they're so doggone cute ...

I've got an Up Periscope at my pool. She has a 1-beat kick. I call her Thumpy b/c I can have my head down and my iPod going at full volume and I can still sense the disturbance in the Force the second she takes her first stroke. She has taken to wearing fins lately but hasn't figured out that they don't help at all b/c all they do is amplify that one vertical kick rather than propel her forward. She he also gets in my lane -- despite already having had a non-wall lane to herself -- when I run to the restroom during long workouts -- despite me leaving my mesh bag and gear there. Also insists on swimming over the lane lines -- directly into my path as I'm pushing off the wall. Thumpy and I are probably gonna have words before the season is out. (Disclaimer: Words may mean getting a monofin to the side of the head.)

What a great thread! Stroker This person swims stroke instead of free at every opportunity, without any need to modify sendoff times or distances. You look over to the next lane and see them calmly cruising by swimming backstroke, fly, or breaststroke while you suffer and die trying to keep up swimming free. And the most annoying sub-type of the Stroker is the Fly Guy. Fly Guy is training for the 200 Fly at some high level event you couldn't qualify for if you had a Johnson outboard motor strapped to your back. Fly guy always asks and usually gets permission to do his sets fly. 40 X 100s on 1:10? No problem for Fly Guy, he's a freak of nature. When you fall out at about #33, Fly Guy offers some unwanted encouragement while barely breathing hard during his 17 seconds of rest between his 34th and 35th 100. 1650 day? Fly Guy does it fly, no problem. Fly Guy whoops your free-styling ass in practice all the time, but that's not good enough. Fly Guy has to swim against you in the 500 free at a meet....doing fly, of course. Fly guy finishes a full 25 ahead of you with a time that would have qualified for the finals in the 500 free at the previous year's state meet, embarrassing you in front of your family and non-swimmer friends (you swimmer friends don't say anything because they know Fly Guy could whoop them too). Fly Guy, who hopped right out of the pool like he's just done nothing more than a 25, then waits for you to finish so he can congratulate you on a "nice swim" from the deck above while you hang on the gutter for dear life, limp as a noodle.

Dr. Glorydaise- A recent comeback to the sport who eshews any training techniques developed after the 1980s. They did well in their youth so, really, how can you improve upon techniques implemented at that time? Hard work (usually devoid of swimming toys) trumps all and times from youth are naturally within their reach in the near future. The glory days-fueled ambition usually abates after the first or second competitive event,. This is so me right now. Just got back to swimming this summer. Started looking at meet results and thought "If I could get down close to what I did back in the day, I could be top-10 at Masters Nationals." Of course "back in the day" was 20-something years ago when I swam 12 practices and lifted 3 times a week . Now I'm getting three 1-hour workouts a week in with no coaching. I should be be back to that old speed in no time, LOL! The glory days-fueled ambition usually abates after the first or second competitive event, and the good doctor's diagnosis subsequently transcends into a Ladies Man or Voyeur variant. My first soul-crushing reality check (i.e. first meet) is coming up in a few weeks. Better start reading up on my new likely roll options. I'm guessing I'm more likely to fit the Voyeur stereotype than Ladies Man.

KING KONG- He may not beat his chest, but he does beat the water. Hard. He swims like he is angry at the world. When he turns to breathe, he reaches his arm way up in the air, and then slams down his cupped hand with a vengeance. WHAM! :afraid: He then brings his other arm around, and, again, with cupped hand, BAM! :afraid:This goes on lap, after lap, after lap. Swimmers in King Kong’s neighboring lanes scatter for fear of inhaling more water on each breath. :bolt:The 20 women in the water aerobics class in the other pool stop in unison to see where that loud noise is coming from that is echoing throughout Steve Lundquist Aquatic Center. When King Kong finally leaves, we all breathe a sigh of relief. :applaud:

This is more for swimming styles. Not many people in a public pool have schooled strokes. So after today's set, sunny & warm I took a spot at the side of the pool and gave names to all the swim styles that went past. Now this is a 140M long pool with one mega lane so lots of time to come up with names. Here's the list: the Pumper the pawer Turbulator Looker & Mega-Looker The Chopper "Goer" (I go nowhere, I go nowhere) Waver (seriously) The Dreamer Swerver Speedster (speedster takes off like a shot, only to become the DD) Styler Downright Drowner Clean and Neater The Forever

My hubbie (bless him) is a "patter" - he very carefully puts his hand in, patting the water gently as he does so. Very little splash.