Burnout in 17 year old club swimmer

It would not surprise me if your son was feeling a lot less pressure and a lot less 'burned out' (for the time being anyway) just from hearing such understanding and encouragement from you and his coach. I believe lots of over-achievers perceive pressure from their parents, teachers, coaches, even if there isn't any. That can be why they make choices such as taking 5 AP classes, moving up to the senior group, etc. I know I felt that way as a kid, and I recognize it in my daughter. So, I make it a point to bring up the issues of pressure and stress with her and reiterate my support for whatever she is doing (as long as she's making good choices). And I think a previous poster might have had a good idea. If you encouraged your son to quit swimming at least until the New Year, he might be really surprised. His reaction may be something like, "I know you never pressure me to work hard, but I could quit? Really? And you wouldn't be disappointed in me?" That alone might enable him to view his swimming in another light. Not as another challenge to be conquered, but as the sport he once chose because he actually like it. Good Luck!

When I was in school, decades ago, there were 2 people out of 750 who got all A's. I mean in their whole HS career. Now, with grade inflation, there are probably a few dozen, if not a hundred, in that some position. I worry for these kids. In real life, perfection is rare exception and roadway to success is paved with a few failures to transcend. Somehow I think perfectionism (as a character flaw) will probably be on the rise. I counseled a beginning chemistry student once, who was filled with self hatred over his first semester because in our program, the average test grade was 50-60% (one test the average was 38%) and the highest in the class usually about 80%. He was convinced he was a failure even though he was getting a solid A. "I don't care about a 'curve'. 70% is no good!" It took hours to get him to believe that the highschool test was designed to give an average of 80%+ and the college test was not. I also worry for kids that are on athletic teams that are undefeated for several years. Dealing with defeat is one of the most valuable lessons of sports.

And your son is very lucky to have as a parent, someone that is taking time to handle this issue with nuance. I doubt that it is a case of entirely black or white situation. Shades of gray. You seem to be aware of this. We always have to keep in mind the most important: Swim training is part of your son's education. People that have successfully committed to an elite sports program during their studies end up being different. Better armed to face the multiple challenges of life. Best coaches are aware of this. And they can easily use all available opportunity to teach, not only train. And there are some lessons to be learned from this situation. Quitting without trying anything is certainly not the best lesson to teach your kid given the circumstances. Setting the table for a nice dialog involving a few adults and him, will teach him the importance of communication and negotiation. It will teach him to favor individual well being, making him feel that he is not just a number in some lane, but someone who deserves the best, even if the best presents itself in the form of a compromise. Like I said earlier, those coaches who are fortunate enough to have experimented a full generational cycle (coaching a kid for years then meeting this person as an adult decades after) know what I am talking about. For 99.9% of these people, we don't care how fast they could swim as much as how well they end up doing in life. And even for the .1%,,, the question isn't that easy to handle. I met with one of the Barcelona '92 200m *** Finalist not that long ago, she was working as a receptionist in some hotel. Not exactly what she was dreaming of doing with her life. Was making a final at the Olympics worth the cost she had to pay afterward? Not sure. You'd have to ask her the question. All the best Charles Thank you so much, and I really mean that. You have really summed everything up very well. This is a possible solution I was wondering about. Its seems to me that going from 5-6 days a week to 4-5 would not be too detrimental. I say this having not done the mega-yardage that some folks did as a high school swimmer, so I wouldn't really know what I was missing. It sounds promising that the folks involved (especially his coach) are working towards a solution. Good luck. :banana: That's exactly what he's doing. I actually think it may help his times, as he'll hopefully be more enthusiastic. Time will tell. It would not surprise me if your son was feeling a lot less pressure and a lot less 'burned out' (for the time being anyway) just from hearing such understanding and encouragement from you and his coach. I believe lots of over-achievers perceive pressure from their parents, teachers, coaches, even if there isn't any. That can be why they make choices such as taking 5 AP classes, moving up to the senior group, etc. I know I felt that way as a kid, and I recognize it in my daughter. So, I make it a point to bring up the issues of pressure and stress with her and reiterate my support for whatever she is doing (as long as she's making good choices). And I think a previous poster might have had a good idea. If you encouraged your son to quit swimming at least until the New Year, he might be really surprised. His reaction may be something like, "I know you never pressure me to work hard, but I could quit? Really? And you wouldn't be disappointed in me?" That alone might enable him to view his swimming in another light. Not as another challenge to be conquered, but as the sport he once chose because he actually like it. Good Luck! He did seem to be more enthusiastic about going to practice today. After he talked to us and his coach, he was acting as if some of the weight was off his shoulders. I'm hoping it lasts. And I definitely agree that over-achievers perceive pressure that we don't see as being there (although we may inadvertently pressure them due to high expectations even though we try not to do so -- at least I think I probably do). We talked again today, and he knows he can quit if he wants to. We also talked a bit about not taking on such a heavy academic load his senior year (and the fact that it's OK that he may get a B in calculus and that the world certainly won't end because of it!). The bottom line is that we want what is best for our kids, and we want them to be happy and healthy. At some point we have to trust that they will make the right decisions for themselves. It's tough having a 17 year old, especially a responsible one, because we ultimately have to let go and allow them to take responsibility for themselves. To what extent is the dilemma.

This could be true. Frankly, I think there should be a sprinter option in more USAS programs. There is a volume intensive, anti-sprinter bias in most USAS training. Some kids would do just fine or even prosper in 50s and 100s on very little, but very quality, training. Burnout and time problem solved, for some. Yes, there does appear to be that. But that's also a factor of trying to create well rounded swimmers and leave the specialization for later teenage/college years.

If you encouraged your son to quit swimming at least until the New Year, he might be really surprised. His reaction may be something like, "I know you never pressure me to work hard, but I could quit? Really? And you wouldn't be disappointed in me?" That alone might enable him to view his swimming in another light. Not as another challenge to be conquered, but as the sport he once chose because he actually like it. I have to admit that I did encourage my daughter to quit when it seemed she was agonizing too much. She tried the ramping it down some option for awhile, but it didn't really resolve the burnout. Nor any potential time plateaus. Quitting helped. She swam only 1x this summer after taking a few months off and still swam a PR in summer (really a sprint) league. She admits to "missing" swimming now. And Solar is right. You can never underestimate how important some seemingly meaningless miniscule thing can be to a teenager. Though perhaps this is more common among girls.

Yes, there does appear to be that. But that's also a factor of trying to create well rounded swimmers and leave the specialization for later teenage/college years. But the mid to late teens is when kids burn out. I'm saying a separate option at that point might make a difference.

But the mid to late teens is when kids burn out. I'm saying a separate option at that point might make a difference. Oh, I agree. But was just trying to give a reason why it is that way, at least in our program.

I think we're all trying to relate to how we felt as teenagers dealing with this or how we feel as parents helping our teenagers deal with this. I think thinking about an analogous situation many of us can relate to might help with solutions: how do each of us deal with life when we're overloaded across work, parenting, our own exercise plans/goals, friends, family, other extra-curricular commitments. Sure, some of us just keep muddling through and try to keep all the balls in the air, but I bet most of us "quit" doing something or severely reduce our efforts at some thing. As a 40-something Type A / over-scheduling addict myself, I'm only starting to learn how to let some things go, relax some commitments, lower my own expectations. If your son can hear from you that it's OK to do so now as a teenager, I think he'll be on the road to a better balanced life. Yeah, it sounds like he's always going to be a high achiever, but if he can be a high achiever with balance ... damn, his life will be golden.

As a 40-something Type A / over-scheduling addict myself, I'm only starting to learn how to let some things go, relax some commitments, lower my own expectations. Once you get the hang of it, you'll learn fast! I'm fairly reformed (whilst still being quite Type A). I now despise multi-tasking, avoid meaningless tasks, rarely volunteer and try to limit exposure to collateral noise or odd adult power tripping. It's enough to focus on the humans in my life and the few things that matter to us. For some reason, and I'm quite grateful, this seems to have rubbed off on my son.

Tell him to quit the swim team right away. He may be waiting for this permission from you. Being supportive is not always letting the child make the decision. They are already overwhelmed by social demands and are unprepared to make well informed life decisions for themselves. It sounds as if he likes swimming but is stuck at one level of performance. Taking AP classes voluntarily means that he is performance oriented, and probably competitive with himself more than others. He doesn't mind pushing, but swimming is now getting in the way of academics. . Thanks for your input, Michael. We have definitely considered that option. I have asked my son several times if he wants to quit, and he has said that he doesn't. My husband and I have both told him that it's OK for him to quit, so hopefully he believes us. For now, I think we are going to see how he does with cutting back. I spoke with his coach on Tuesday (as did my son), and his coach said that he hasn't seen anything in my son's performance at practice that indicates burnout, although knowing my son's personality he'd likely push himself even if he were feeling burned out. Actually, he has shown significant time drops in both his fly and his IM this past year, just not his freestyle. Definitely if he continues to feel overloaded despite a decreased training load, I will talk with him again about dropping swim. In addition to swimming burnout, I would be concerned about academic burnout, considering he has another year of high school, plus college, and probably more after that. When you add in the swimming, it doesn't leave much room for anything else. The solution that he and his coach worked out with his swimming seems to be the best. Swimming has really helped him to grow outside of academics. Trying to find a balance I think is key. Academic burnout is a definitely concern; he has always been a high achiever (as have many swimmers, I'm sure). I hadn't really thought of that, since going to school vs. not going to school isn't really an option. :) I'll definitely encourage him to take a lighter load his senior year. My husband and I have never had to push him as he's hard enough on himself, but I realize that even so, he may still feel he has to measure up to our expectations. He's fortunate to have a great group of friends, and does have some time on weekends to spend with them. I agree about the balance. Thanks so much for the reassurance.