I'm sure you guys can help... I am a masters swimmer. Our son is 17, has been a club swimmer for four years, and swims on his high school team. He swims with the senior 1 group, and his practices are 2 hours 45 minutes on the weekdays and two hours on Saturdays. He is a decent, solid swimmer (state but not sectional cuts in numerous events). He is a junior in high school and is currently taking five AP courses (his decision, not my husband's and mine). His grades are good and he works hard.
Recently, he has been feeling a lot of stress due to his workload in school and swimming. He told me last night that swimming isn't fun any more. He says he thinks he still wants to swim club, possibly at the senior 2 level instead, and still wants to swim high school. He actually isn't sure he even wants to drop to a less demanding group; he isn't really sure what to do. While I think his academic load is part of why he is stressed, I know that constantly staring at a black line for hours is playing a large part as well. Aside from being supportive of him and encouraging him to talk to his coach (who is my coach as well, which could possibly complicate things), is there anything I can do to help? I don't want to be one of "those" parents, but I want to do what is best for my son. Obviously I would like him to stay in the senior 1 group, but I'm not the one swimming there. His coach knows him well, as he has been with this coach for four years. Part of the issue is that our son doesn't want to let his coach down. I know it is his call, and I'm trying to stay as objective as possible.
I'm sure many of you experienced swim burnout as a teenager. Any suggestions you can give are much appreciated.
Kristin
Parents
Former Member
Tell him to quit the swim team right away. He may be waiting for this permission from you. Being supportive is not always letting the child make the decision. They are already overwhelmed by social demands and are unprepared to make well informed life decisions for themselves. It sounds as if he likes swimming but is stuck at one level of performance. Taking AP classes voluntarily means that he is performance oriented, and probably competitive with himself more than others. He doesn't mind pushing, but swimming is now getting in the way of academics. .
Thanks for your input, Michael. We have definitely considered that option. I have asked my son several times if he wants to quit, and he has said that he doesn't. My husband and I have both told him that it's OK for him to quit, so hopefully he believes us. For now, I think we are going to see how he does with cutting back. I spoke with his coach on Tuesday (as did my son), and his coach said that he hasn't seen anything in my son's performance at practice that indicates burnout, although knowing my son's personality he'd likely push himself even if he were feeling burned out. Actually, he has shown significant time drops in both his fly and his IM this past year, just not his freestyle. Definitely if he continues to feel overloaded despite a decreased training load, I will talk with him again about dropping swim.
In addition to swimming burnout, I would be concerned about academic burnout, considering he has another year of high school, plus college, and probably more after that. When you add in the swimming, it doesn't leave much room for anything else.
The solution that he and his coach worked out with his swimming seems to be the best. Swimming has really helped him to grow outside of academics. Trying to find a balance I think is key.
Academic burnout is a definitely concern; he has always been a high achiever (as have many swimmers, I'm sure). I hadn't really thought of that, since going to school vs. not going to school isn't really an option. :) I'll definitely encourage him to take a lighter load his senior year. My husband and I have never had to push him as he's hard enough on himself, but I realize that even so, he may still feel he has to measure up to our expectations. He's fortunate to have a great group of friends, and does have some time on weekends to spend with them.
I agree about the balance. Thanks so much for the reassurance.
Tell him to quit the swim team right away. He may be waiting for this permission from you. Being supportive is not always letting the child make the decision. They are already overwhelmed by social demands and are unprepared to make well informed life decisions for themselves. It sounds as if he likes swimming but is stuck at one level of performance. Taking AP classes voluntarily means that he is performance oriented, and probably competitive with himself more than others. He doesn't mind pushing, but swimming is now getting in the way of academics. .
Thanks for your input, Michael. We have definitely considered that option. I have asked my son several times if he wants to quit, and he has said that he doesn't. My husband and I have both told him that it's OK for him to quit, so hopefully he believes us. For now, I think we are going to see how he does with cutting back. I spoke with his coach on Tuesday (as did my son), and his coach said that he hasn't seen anything in my son's performance at practice that indicates burnout, although knowing my son's personality he'd likely push himself even if he were feeling burned out. Actually, he has shown significant time drops in both his fly and his IM this past year, just not his freestyle. Definitely if he continues to feel overloaded despite a decreased training load, I will talk with him again about dropping swim.
In addition to swimming burnout, I would be concerned about academic burnout, considering he has another year of high school, plus college, and probably more after that. When you add in the swimming, it doesn't leave much room for anything else.
The solution that he and his coach worked out with his swimming seems to be the best. Swimming has really helped him to grow outside of academics. Trying to find a balance I think is key.
Academic burnout is a definitely concern; he has always been a high achiever (as have many swimmers, I'm sure). I hadn't really thought of that, since going to school vs. not going to school isn't really an option. :) I'll definitely encourage him to take a lighter load his senior year. My husband and I have never had to push him as he's hard enough on himself, but I realize that even so, he may still feel he has to measure up to our expectations. He's fortunate to have a great group of friends, and does have some time on weekends to spend with them.
I agree about the balance. Thanks so much for the reassurance.
