Burnout in 17 year old club swimmer

I think it's worth remembering when we were around these ages? Little issues that appear to us, as adults, as being fairly easy to handle, they would appear as unsolvable problems. Why do you think lots of teenagers behave the way they do? Difficultly to handle stress. Some react by behaving as if they were adults. They barely tolerate to be told what to do. Others become delinquents. When we're fortunate enough to have kids who can express their concerns and request for help? Man, it would be a crime not to provide them with this help. Good. By the sound of it, a lot of good will come out of this. Keep us posted!

ok I've started 5 different replies and deleted them because they probably weren't appropriate because you are dealing with real life here. But maybe I think if the burnout is strong there might not be any turning back from it and that maybe he might still be swimming for every reason but his own. That's just a theory without obviously knowing the individual.

The kids you coached were lucky to have you. My son's 100m free isn't what your swimmer's was, but his coach has the same philosophy as you do. And your son is very lucky to have as a parent, someone that is taking time to handle this issue with nuance. I doubt that it is a case of entirely black or white situation. Shades of gray. You seem to be aware of this. We always have to keep in mind the most important: Swim training is part of your son's education. People that have successfully committed to an elite sports program during their studies end up being different. Better armed to face the multiple challenges of life. Best coaches are aware of this. And they can easily use all available opportunity to teach, not only train. And there are some lessons to be learned from this situation. Quitting without trying anything is certainly not the best lesson to teach your kid given the circumstances. Setting the table for a nice dialog involving a few adults and him, will teach him the importance of communication and negotiation. It will teach him to favor individual well being, making him feel that he is not just a number in some lane, but someone who deserves the best, even if the best presents itself in the form of a compromise. Like I said earlier, those coaches who are fortunate enough to have experimented a full generational cycle (coaching a kid for years then meeting this person as an adult decades after) know what I am talking about. For 99.9% of these people, we don't care how fast they could swim as much as how well they end up doing in life. And even for the .1%,,, the question isn't that easy to handle. I met with one of the Barcelona '92 200m *** Finalist not that long ago, she was working as a receptionist in some hotel. Not exactly what she was dreaming of doing with her life. Was making a final at the Olympics worth the cost she had to pay afterward? Not sure. You'd have to ask her the question. All the best Charles

Interesting thread and responses. I hate to hear stories of burn-out, but there was lots of good advice. It always seems like kids burn-out right about the time when swimming really should be the most fun (late high school, early in college). I started swimming late in high school because I had a knee injury from football and swimming was recommended for rehab. I found I really enjoyed it and never went back to my other sports. Because of my lack of competitive swim club background and my general contrarian philosophies I have tried to actually hold my kids back from competitive swimming. It wasn't like they were begging us to swim on a competitive team, but we didn't encourage it at all. They swam summer club only and I helped them with some technique that sometimes you don't get in summer club. My twin daughters just started swimming on a competitive team at 13. They are only swimming 3 times a week until they tell us they want to do more (it may never happen). The hope is that they enjoy it more in high school and later in life and don't hit a plateau in high school. I am taking the same approach with my 11 year old son. They play other sports as well and they may choose one of those other sports ultimately. Anyway, that is my little experiment with my children. My concern is more the opposite. In today's more competitive swim environment did we do them more harm then good? Will they get discouraged because they can't compete with the kids that have been swimming longer? Will they never catch-up? I guess only time will tell. Our club has been pretty good so far about not pressuring them to swim more. Tim

Interesting thread and responses. I hate to hear stories of burn-out, but there was lots of good advice. It always seems like kids burn-out right about the time when swimming really should be the most fun (late high school, early in college). I started swimming late in high school because I had a knee injury from football and swimming was recommended for rehab. I found I really enjoyed it and never went back to my other sports. Because of my lack of competitive swim club background and my general contrarian philosophies I have tried to actually hold my kids back from competitive swimming. It wasn't like they were begging us to swim on a competitive team, but we didn't encourage it at all. They swam summer club only and I helped them with some technique that sometimes you don't get in summer club. My twin daughters just started swimming on a competitive team at 13. They are only swimming 3 times a week until they tell us they want to do more (it may never happen). The hope is that they enjoy it more in high school and later in life and don't hit a plateau in high school. I am taking the same approach with my 11 year old son. They play other sports as well and they may choose one of those other sports ultimately. Anyway, that is my little experiment with my children. My concern is more the opposite. In today's more competitive swim environment did we do them more harm then good? Will they get discouraged because they can't compete with the kids that have been swimming longer? Will they never catch-up? I guess only time will tell. Our club has been pretty good so far about not pressuring them to swim more. Tim I'm doing this same experiment on my 10 year old. Completely de-emphasizing swimming or competition right now aside from summer league. parenting.blogs.nytimes.com/.../

:2cents:Maybe he needs to have a physical - before assuming it's stress alone; have his blood chemistry, blood count checked too. Just to rule out any other type of deficiency. Keep it simple....Good Luck - keep being supportive!!!!!!

There is good parenting advice on this thread; which is odd because that doesn't happen in real life. Thanks to everyone who participated, I really appreciate it.

I have to admit that I did encourage my daughter to quit when it seemed she was agonizing too much. She tried the ramping it down some option for awhile, but it didn't really resolve the burnout. Nor any potential time plateaus. Quitting helped. She swam only 1x this summer after taking a few months off and still swam a PR in summer (really a sprint) league. She admits to "missing" swimming now. And Solar is right. You can never underestimate how important some seemingly meaningless miniscule thing can be to a teenager. Though perhaps this is more common among girls. Quitting may be what he eventually has to do to, and if he does, that will be OK. We will definitely be watching the situation. If your daughter misses swimming now, that can only be a good thing. It means that she likely won't be turned off to the sport forever. Ultimately that's what I hope for my son. And yes, we have seen through experience how the small things can make a big difference to a teenager. It's scary sometimes. I think we're all trying to relate to how we felt as teenagers dealing with this or how we feel as parents helping our teenagers deal with this. I think thinking about an analogous situation many of us can relate to might help with solutions: how do each of us deal with life when we're overloaded across work, parenting, our own exercise plans/goals, friends, family, other extra-curricular commitments. Sure, some of us just keep muddling through and try to keep all the balls in the air, but I bet most of us "quit" doing something or severely reduce our efforts at some thing. As a 40-something Type A / over-scheduling addict myself, I'm only starting to learn how to let some things go, relax some commitments, lower my own expectations. If your son can hear from you that it's OK to do so now as a teenager, I think he'll be on the road to a better balanced life. Yeah, it sounds like he's always going to be a high achiever, but if he can be a high achiever with balance ... damn, his life will be golden. I hope so! I think a lot of us are still struggling with that same thing at 40-something. I would love to think my kids will learn from my mistakes as opposed to repeating them. ok I've started 5 different replies and deleted them because they probably weren't appropriate because you are dealing with real life here. But maybe I think if the burnout is strong there might not be any turning back from it and that maybe he might still be swimming for every reason but his own. That's just a theory without obviously knowing the individual. That could very well be, but I hope not. We'll definitely be monitoring the situation closely and intervene if necessary. To keep swimming wouldn't be worth it in that case. Time will tell, I suppose.

So, the student who excels in math and AP is the next math level course offered as a junior or senior should not take it because, why? I fail to understand the objections to pushing yourself academically. Why bother to push yourself academically at all? To be clear, I do not object to taking AP courses. I wrote, "you don't take AP courses because you enjoy them." In the context of the thread what I was really saying is you don't take 5 AP courses because you enjoy them. I didn't do 10 x 300's yesterday because I enjoyed them. When it comes to swimming we readily understand that to enjoy the benefit of being good (or somewhat good in my case) you have to do things you do not enjoy. Same goes for high school academics. The subject is taking 5 AP courses because his peer group values and ranks one another based on the number of AP courses one takes. This is the peer group that the subject wants to be a part of ( I am 95% sure that is not at the parents urging). Seems pretty clear to me what should be done.

TThe subject is taking 5 AP courses because his peer group values and ranks one another based on the number of AP courses one takes. This is the peer group that the subject wants to be a part of ( I am 95% sure that is not at the parents urging). Seems pretty clear to me what should be done. YouTube - Revenge of the Nerds - NERDS!