Well Pfffffffft.

I honestly don't think your swimming is your problem. It's your fear. That is the part of the equation that is difficult for a masters coach to fix in the middle of a practice. This is what you need to fix first - once you are truly relaxed and comfortable in the water you'll be awesome (and fit right in, I suspect) since you sound like you have some decent technique!

What he ^ said. Sympathy is not at all hard to give for any swimmer, no matter how advanced. We all had to start somewhere, and I frankly am astonished at the amount of nerve one has to show to start in this sport after reaching adulthood. Coaches are like noses - some smell better than others. If this one cannot help you, it does not mean you are beyond help, just that he/she doesn't know how to help you (possibly after giving you the universal welcome). If deep water is your problem, you could be a swell swimmer in the shallows, turning into a panic button when you cannot stand up. It is not something that Masters coaches deal with on any regular basis and you cannot fault them if they suggest you deal with that aspect before bringing it to workout. If that is not your issue, perhaps something similar in its uniqueness could be the case. Find it, fix it and rejoin the club/team/workout group. Lots more fun swimming (even only for fitness) with a group. And there is a place in Masters for anyone willing to give it a try.

I understand what you are all saying. The main issue is that the coach did a total flip turn from the first to the third workout. He said he wanted me to swim with the others, but assured me he didn't care how long it took me to feel confident enough to do it, then he did care. He said some stuff that strongly implied the other beginners were dedicated, but I was not. If he'd said those things at my first practice, I would not have gone back. If you don't want to coach someone, tell them. If you require they put on grown up panties to swim with you, tell them. If you think they don't comprehend the meaning of team, explain it. And if they have issues, either let them become part of the team at their own pace or tell them to go elsewhere. Be consistent. Don't say they're awesome and will do great if you don't mean it. FYI, I asked to share a lane at the rec center this morning, and the guy moved over to the deep end instead.

I feel badly because I thought I'd found a home with this team. ... But honestly, I'm not interested in being on a team. I just want to get in the freakin' pool and swim for fitness. Denise, help me out here bc I am having trouble reconciling these statements. What exactly is it that you are hoping to get out of this (or any other) masters program?

As someone who first joined a masters practice as an adult, in 2005--and who is still more eager than fast ;) -- I hear you. I've had wonderful coaches who are very welcoming and work with me very well--encouraging and pushing me too, which is great! I've had others who totally ignore the "newbie lane"--but I've gone to those practices for other reasons than the coach's attention (longer practices, so I get more distance; convenient time; good facility, whatever). And I've gone to those where the coach worked with those of us in the slower lanes but seemed impatient to get back to the faster groups. And I was in a very small practice at one point, where there were maybe about 5-6 of us, and a woman who enthusiastically worked with all of us. The current coach is great--he has a relatively small practice (more than 5-6 but usually not more than, say 12-15). He takes the time with every lane, tailors workouts so they fit the various abilities, while keeping the same interval (so some might do 100 on 1:30, for instance, others 75, others 50). We all get a great workout, and he moves around from lane to lane, watching, critiquing, teaching--and at no point have I ever felt left out. But I know how it is when there's someone you don't feel is a match--and how disappointing it can feel (had the experience) when a coach who at first seems interested in working w/ you suddenly seems to change his/her tune. I found that going to such a practice was emotionally draining--and fortunately, I found the current person whose style suits me much better. Sometimes it's a matter of finding the right fit. Oh and the practice I go to now is a lot less convenient for travel than the one I left but worth the extra trip. Re the fear of swimming with others or in deep water--I can find crowded lanes intimidating too. Just been fortunate in most cases that my lanes have never had more than 2-3 people. I've found it helps when at the start of practice, we introduce ourselves, negotiate our starting positions and spacing in between, etc. Having everyone be a stranger can feel a bit overwhelming. Even at practices where the coach didn't take much interest, if we were looking out for one another, things went pretty well. I can even relate to the fear of deep water. I had that as a kid. I knew how to swim for about 4-5 years before I felt comfortable swimming in deep water! You might want to do swimming in deep water on your own, but near a lifeguard stand, letting the lifeguard know your concern (get someone you've been friendly with), so they're looking out for you. Or just get an aqua vest and spend time in the water walking lane at the deep end--my first exposure to deep water consisted of putting on a life jacket and just hanging out in deep water for a bit, then going out w/out one and treading water. Everyone has some kind of issue or fear when they're new to swimming, especially if you start as an adult! I remember overhearing people coming out of a lesson and saying how uneasy they were about putting their face in the water. I'd been feeling down on myself b/c I had trouble with flip turns (still don't get those) and when I overheard that, I thought this is just a developmental process, and I realized I had to be patient with myself. Maybe worth trying a lesson or two with this coach to see if maybe you'll communicate better one on one. But if it doesn't work out, don't worry too much. He just might not be a good match for you. And give yourself time to find someone who will better fit your learning style.

FindingMyInnerFish, thank you for your kind comments and taking the time to help, and I will take your advice to heart. I float and tread pretty well, and when I can get my DH to come with me, I make him go with me into the deep lane so I'm less fearful. I'm trying to get there, but it's a process, and at 63, my brain cells don't turn over as fast as they used to. I'm only 5' tall, btw, so over my head isn't that deep :afraid:LOL. Panic button is a good way to describe it. It's a self-perpetuating state of mind. I chose this practice because they use shallow lanes and at the first practice the coach seemed really upbeat and supportive about working with me until I felt able to join the others. He said he had no problem working with me in my own lane until I felt comfortable to move to the beginner lane, which btw, is in the deep end. Chris, I know where you're coming from. "Team" doesn't imply that I'm in the lane with a bunch of other people, but just swimming with folks who are part of a group. I always knew I'd join them in their lanes eventually, and I looked forward to it. It felt good to be part of the masters, even if it took me time to reach my goal. I never played team sports, and I have no interest in competing. I was told most masters swimmers are in it for fitness, and that's what I was looking for. Because this group is small, I thought it was a good place to start my journey. Now, I don't even have a journey. I know, whah whah whah right?:rolleyes: I want to be clear on something - I never asked for special treatment, only that I be allowed to progress at my own pace. I did whatever the coach told me to do. I listened to what he said and did it, took in his critique, and tried to apply his corrections. My goal was to improve my technique and aerobic capacity, and eventually be comfortable with others in deep water. It's disturbing that he made this judgment after only three practices. I still have six left on my punch card and the thought of going back there makes me ill.

Denise, I'm also from the DC area, and have (by proxy) experience dealing with the Rec department folks in Fairfax County. It is possible that your team is paying for a set number of lanes for each practice, and by moving you to your own lane, your team was then occupying more lanes than they'd paid for. It wouldn't matter if the rest of the pool was completely empty, if your team was paying for 4 lanes, but using 5, the county could have very well put the kibosh on your private lane. It doesn't make sense, especially if the pool is as empty as you say, but some of the county rec departments in the metro area don't always make sense when they make their rules. Basically, what I'm trying to say is that it might not have been your coach making this decision at all. If the county folks got bent out of shape, he might have thought this was the best way to keep you in the sport, while keeping your team on the right side of the county.

the thought of going back there makes me ill.Then don’t go back. Find another program and coach that can help you meet your goals. Forget the 6 punches, your health is more important than a card. This is kind of like every time I take my daughter to a SlipKnot concert I leave with a massive headache and feeling like my ears are bleeding. So the simple solution is taking someone else next time.

swimmie, I was in the lane set aside for our group. I thought of that, too, and it makes sense this would be an issue, but another of his team swam in that same lane the week before, by herself. Rob, I think it's quite likely I just jumped into the masters thinking about the workout, not the setup. I'd talked with a couple of coaches who said they would be happy to work with me, but the lane availability was an issue. One of them wanted me to come at 5 a.m., which is very hard but it might be my one option though she's in another masters group. To be fair, the coach said he wants me on his team and thinks I have potential. But the subtext was that I'd better get a lot better first.

team tēm/ noun noun: team; plural noun: teams 1. a group of players forming one side in a competitive game or sport. synonyms: group, squad, company, party, crew, troupe, band, side, lineup, phalanx; Moreinformalbunch, gang, posse "the sales team" two or more people working together. "a team of researchers" informal used before another word to form the name of a real or notional group that supports or favors the person or thing indicated. "are you team Mac or team PC?" two or more animals, especially horses, harnessed together to pull a vehicle. synonyms: pair, span, yoke, duo, set, tandem "a team of horses" verb verb: team; 3rd person present: teams; past tense: teamed; past participle: teamed; gerund or present participle: teaming 1. come together as a team to achieve a common goal. "he teamed up with the band to produce the album" synonyms: join (forces), collaborate, get together, work together DeniseMW, I feel for you but I think you need to work toward overcoming your need to swim alone if you want to be a part of a master's team. I'm not sure if you're afraid of holding people up, or hitting others but either way I think you'll find lane mates to be a very forgiving group of people. In my opinion (for what it's worth) you should swim with others for 2 weeks, or 10 times. If you're not feeling more comfortable by then I'd say you should attend solo rec swim instead. I'm not trying to be mean, but you can't have your cake and eat it too all the time.