Equipment Rep
Trains with every piece of equipment available at all times.
The Luddite
Trains with nothing. Only uses a loin cloth and goggles in workout.
The Barnacle
Leaves right on your feet. Couldn't count to five or ten if his life depnded on it.
The Coach
Not an actual coach, but someone who is consumed with technique. Swimming is a precise set of moves that can be broken down, categorized, and scientifically analyzed.
The Jaded
Could care less about technique. Just wants to swim and leave the analysis to the eggheads.
The Swimaholic
Trains at least 10 swimming workouts a week. Anything less is viewed as not trying.
Fast Guy who Never Trains
Shows up once a month and breaks national records in practice.
Hardest Working Man in the Swim Business
Trains like a ferocious animal in workout, but has no speed when it comes to racing.
Lane Guy
Works out in a lane that is far too fast or slow for him.
The Crack Guy
Dude, pull your swimsuit up or get a bigger size.
The Newbie
Shows up to practice in board shorts and a scuba mask.
_________________
As for myself, I would fall into the categories of Luddite and Jaded. Also, I wrote this from a male perspective, but the women are included as well. Any other stereotypes?
The Creepy Old Guy
Middle aged man that always wants to share his lane with the 20 and 30 something women but will never swim with men. He finds ways to hug or touch said lanemates. Said lanemates refuse to swim in front of him during breaststroke sets. COG makes inappropriate jokes and is basically a total and utter DOM ...
AKA The Floyd
NB. The COG is similar to The Stud but The Stud is younger, cute and has many redeeming qualities and is usually sought after as a lanemate. ;)
The AWOL
Gets out of practice during difficult sets - particularly when they are getting their butt kicked. The usual excuse is a conference call or dental appointment.
The Flirt
Often the female, college or high school age sprinter who wears a lot of make up and flirts with the coach 90% of the practice. 5% of the practice is spent swimming and the last 5% is spent flirting with the other boys on the team.
The Big Bad Wolf
Huffs and puffs so hard on the wall between sets or laps that you consider getting out and calling 911.
The ADD/ Mathematically Challenged - Often the same person
Regardless of how often the set is repeated by the coach/ lane mates AND/ OR written on the dry erase board, ADD NEVER knows what's going on. Mathematically challenged NEVER counts correctly during distance sets.
The Let's Pull Stats out of our A$$
Makes up random percentages to try and support their position on the Message Boards. See the Flirt as an example.
The Excusifier:
Has to tell you, throughout practice, the 10,00 reasons they aren't going fast tonight: got a cold, didn't get sleep, re-doing their kitchen and is sore, lifted weights and is sore, not ready for the set, hasn't been working out enough, etc. This type causes another type to roll their eyes:
The Stoic
The opposite of the Male Ex-College Swimmer and the opposite of Wolf-Girl or Wolf-Whine (discussed on other threads). This experienced and speedy swimmer never complains or whines during practice. Works most sets. Encourages lanemates. Knows what repeat he's on. Thanks the coach at the end of workout. Comes back for more.
Hmmm....I have a couple of both of these on my age group and master's teams...guess they never grow out of it!
Man, I show up at practice just for the Barbie Swimmer, makes those 5: 30 workouts more entertaining.
Dude, let me tell you...it's not all that.
I don't know what is more laughable:
Beer-enhanced middle-aged men who try and swim (and act) like they did when they were in High School, albeit unsuccessfully.
-or-
Silicone-enhanced women strutting around in a two-piece suit vying for the attention of the cute guy(s) in practice, with a high degree of success.
Actually, both are laughable come to think of it in a sad sort of way.
Some I see include:
Swimmer Barbie
Wears a two-piece suit to show off her "enhancements" and always gets in late to make sure everybody sees her.
Triathlete
Only swims freestyle (slowly) and wears a wetsuit at practice.
18-24 Age Group
Stands around on deck talking about vapid topics, texting their friends, listening to their iPods, and get in after warmup is over.
Male ex-Collegiate Swimmer
Talks incessantly about his college times and the other guys he swam against. High-fives other guys at workout and talks louder than anybody else in the pool, coach included.
The Elevator Repairman
Has never been in a pool or seen meet yet is an expert on the sport.
The Team Organizer
Plans all the team events and gets no recognition but is loved by everyone. Every team needs this person.
The Elevator Repairman
Has never been in a pool or seen meet yet is an expert on the sport.
LOL. I used to be a true Swimaholic. I don't fit any of the Stereotypes listed now. Maybe something like:
The Reformed Swimaholic: The ex-swimming obsessed swimmer who now trains but only enough to have fun and stay in shape.
I just call these people triathletes. Commonly heard - "I didn't/can't/won't go hard as I'm going to run a marathon and bike to South America after this."
:lmao:
The Big Bad Wolf
Huffs and puffs so hard on the wall between sets or laps that you consider getting out and calling 911.
thats me these days. (good thing none of the lifeguards are ever awake during masters practices.... i'm sure i'd be ejected)
