Equipment Rep
Trains with every piece of equipment available at all times.
The Luddite
Trains with nothing. Only uses a loin cloth and goggles in workout.
The Barnacle
Leaves right on your feet. Couldn't count to five or ten if his life depnded on it.
The Coach
Not an actual coach, but someone who is consumed with technique. Swimming is a precise set of moves that can be broken down, categorized, and scientifically analyzed.
The Jaded
Could care less about technique. Just wants to swim and leave the analysis to the eggheads.
The Swimaholic
Trains at least 10 swimming workouts a week. Anything less is viewed as not trying.
Fast Guy who Never Trains
Shows up once a month and breaks national records in practice.
Hardest Working Man in the Swim Business
Trains like a ferocious animal in workout, but has no speed when it comes to racing.
Lane Guy
Works out in a lane that is far too fast or slow for him.
The Crack Guy
Dude, pull your swimsuit up or get a bigger size.
The Newbie
Shows up to practice in board shorts and a scuba mask.
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As for myself, I would fall into the categories of Luddite and Jaded. Also, I wrote this from a male perspective, but the women are included as well. Any other stereotypes?
Euro-Speedo Guy
Middle-aged, hairy, big belly. Still wearing the same tiny water polo suit he wore in Russia in 1980.
Forum Moth
Drawn to new forum users like a moth to a flame. Immediately senses their weaknesses, like a predator in the wild.
The Newbie
Shows up to practice in board shorts and a scuba mask.
I absolutely love the "Newbie" swimmers! For Master's swimmers they are a bit more "off" than the age-group swimmers, but still enjoyable in my eyes!
Personally, I am definitely a coach in and out of water...analyze everything...not good!
The PUP (Physically Unable to Perform)
Former fast swimmer who still can beat almost anybody in his/her age group...when they are healthy. This person is injured/hurt/sick 80% of the time, hence you don't see this type very often. But when they appear, their speed in the pool is undeniable. The PUP is normally a hypenated type (ex. PUP-Stoic) since it is part of their overall swimming stereotype identity.
Will each of us find ourselves here? ;)
Yes! I now know that I am either a Stoic or a Purist, although I will sometimes use a pull bouy if the coach *requires* it. After all:
Fins are for cheaters!
Paddles are for those who want to destroy their shoulders!
Kick boards are for sissy boys and commies!
Oh sorry, I am a Stoic, I shouldn't have said anything... Maybe I have a split personality:confused:
Idiot Savant-A training mate called this other guy this this summer. This is a swimmer who has average overall abilities but is out of this world in either kick or pulling. The guy in my workout group can "throw down" in a pulling set but trains with the second fastest group. On some occasions, trains with the fastest group.
The Dragger-this is someone who can totally go first in his/her lane but goes 2nd or 3rd in the lane.
Bromacing the Pool-These are two guys that train in the same lane(because they are too fast for the rest of the practice) and only talk to each other. They are in their own little world of Junior and Senior national Cuts and NCAA cuts. The worst is sharing a hotel room with these guys because they act like you are not there. If you don't have at least a Junior Cut by 16, you are nothing to them.
Too Cool for the Pool-This is someone who makes the Olympic Trials. They go to Trials without doing any real training for the meet. I mean like 30 minutes and weekend training is nonexistent.
After all:
Fins are for cheaters!
Paddles are for those who want to destroy their shoulders!
Kick boards are for sissy boys and commies!
Doug, aren't these facts indisputable?
Haven't posted in a LONG time but this brought me out of the catacombs.
THE OLD SCHOOL EQUIPMENT GUY - shows up in a stars and stripes speedo complete with mustache and no cap. HIND WELLS Compy goggles (or Dara Torres style speedo goggles) and yellow speedo rectangular hand paddles. Hates those new falngled digital pace clocks and wishes we still had the plastic Omega Timing touch pads at meets. Talks incessantly about swimming for "Doc" at IU and how goggles changed his life in the sport of swimming.
Sam, weren't you seen in compy's the last time you showed up at Cactus?
The Blue Mooner
Swimmer who only does a meet once every two or three years with said meet usually being Nationals. The swimmer puts down some ridiculously slow time because he/she has no idea what he/she can do in a race. Usually ends up in top five at Nationals.
