Equipment Rep
Trains with every piece of equipment available at all times.
The Luddite
Trains with nothing. Only uses a loin cloth and goggles in workout.
The Barnacle
Leaves right on your feet. Couldn't count to five or ten if his life depnded on it.
The Coach
Not an actual coach, but someone who is consumed with technique. Swimming is a precise set of moves that can be broken down, categorized, and scientifically analyzed.
The Jaded
Could care less about technique. Just wants to swim and leave the analysis to the eggheads.
The Swimaholic
Trains at least 10 swimming workouts a week. Anything less is viewed as not trying.
Fast Guy who Never Trains
Shows up once a month and breaks national records in practice.
Hardest Working Man in the Swim Business
Trains like a ferocious animal in workout, but has no speed when it comes to racing.
Lane Guy
Works out in a lane that is far too fast or slow for him.
The Crack Guy
Dude, pull your swimsuit up or get a bigger size.
The Newbie
Shows up to practice in board shorts and a scuba mask.
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As for myself, I would fall into the categories of Luddite and Jaded. Also, I wrote this from a male perspective, but the women are included as well. Any other stereotypes?
Sammy Save-Up
Cruises through the first 9 repeats of the set -- often the last in the lane -- and then does close to a PB on the last rep because "the only swimming worth doing is at race pace."
Warm-up? Don't need no stinking warm-up!
Arrives late, chats with coach or pretty female swimmers (aren't they all?), and dives in just as the first set starts.
(Inspired by Laura Smith)
The Excusifier:
Has to tell you, throughout practice, the 10,00 reasons they aren't going fast tonight: got a cold, didn't get sleep, re-doing their kitchen and is sore, lifted weights and is sore, not ready for the set, hasn't been working out enough, etc. This type causes another type to roll their eyes:
I just call these people triathletes. Commonly heard - "I didn't/can't/won't go hard as I'm going to run a marathon and bike to South America after this."
The Petri Dish
Comes to the pool with a disease that the CDC classifies at the "EVACUATE EVERYONE WITHIN A 10 MILE RADIUS"-level. He/She then proceeds to spit great quantities of stuff with the color of split-pea soup and the consistancy of vulcanized rubber into the gutter. Two weeks later you hear that a member of the pool maintainance staff just died quite horribly and their entire house had to be burned with napalm "just to be sure."
-LBJ
The Transfer Athlete: They are in better shape then Michael Phelps and they look like they deserve their own fast lane. They started swimming because an injury is preventing them from continuing their previous sport at an elite level. They are both the strongest and slowest in the pool, and know none of the competitive strokes.
The Tidal Wave: The person you want to draft off of, but hate to swim in the next lane over from. Splitting a lane with the person guarantees a lung full of water by practices end.
Beer Glasses - Thinks they're swimming straight and strong but in reality they're thrashing all over the lanes, invoking fear in the hearts of lane mates.
:laugh2:
Ahhhh, yes... the lane hog (love your title for it)... this person also knocks into you on a consistent basis and never learns!!!
The Late Bloomer
Note: May be somehow related to The Elevator Repairman, see above.
No. Two different types. TLB has actually seen a swimming pool. Has actually been in a swimming pool. Has actually swam in a meet at somepoint in their life. Has actually tried to learn more about the sport and at somepoint listened/read books by top level coaches
The TER pretends to know more about subjects, while not having done anything in said subjects and ignores information from people that have first hand knowledge of said subjects. The TER is more pretender than contender.
THE EAFG (Equipment Assisted Fast Guy/Gal)
The EAFG is convinced he can hang with the big dogs in the pool. He insists on swimming with the fastest workout group, however the EAFG can only make the sets wearing the world's largest hand paddles and/or fins. The EAFG is also frequently heard offering to let the truely fast, non-equipment assisted swimmers go ahead, then assumes the role of The Barnacle.
The Trickster
The Trickster shows up late to practice, joins the lane mid-set, and insists on taking his rightful place in the lane. The trickster can be a speedy swimmer, and often takes pleasure in "racing" the swimmer in the next lane; although, the other swimmer may not know it. The trickster is commonly seen resting after the first 100 of a 400 swim and then pushing off hard to start the last 100 to finish ahead of those swimming an unbroken 400.
