Swimming Stereotypes

Oh my friend, the voyeur can absolutely have two X chromosomes. You underestimate the female gender. You'll make Jim dribble if you keep that up... There is also the Deep Voyeur this swimmer doesn't swim at all but takes a deep breath and sinks below the surface so that they can gaze upwards at the swim team practice going on above. One time, yes, a very cool aesthetic way to watch swimming...three to four times a week gets you kicked out of the pool and your membership revoked

The Next Generation: Bad Girls You may think you're tough. Sure, you clawed your way up the corporate ladder making six figures before age 30; you were promoted to a board of previously all male executive managers as the first female SR VP in a predominantly male industry; you're reputation is to make grown men cry in the board room, the bedroom, and, your favorite location, during practices. You spit nails and curse like a sailor while being a fabulous wife and mother to at least three. But you know you do not compare to the next generation of swimmer girls. These gals swim as fast as the men did when you were in high school. In fact, some of them out swim the top high school boys and college men now. They are taller, faster, and stronger - than most of the girls and some of the boys. 1:48 in the 200 FR is the norm (untapered, no LZR.) Amy Van Dyken may have spit water in her competitors' lanes, but these gals spit water in the lane and at the face of their teammates on a regular basis. You are pleased when it's pool water rather than purple gatorade. If they snap a towel or cap at your ass, it can be heard round the world and it leaves a huge welt for a week. A game of water basketball with this group makes Pro football look like a sewing circle. You feel lucky to come out of the game only having lost a half pint of blood and some bruises unlike some of the boys who are in the ER with a missing limb or appendage. You regularly chicken out and swim with the 6+ foot boys in their lane because well, they are slower than the New Gen gals and you are less likely to be swum over. There IS crying. Daily. But 9 times out of 10 it's the boys. When it is a gal, they later hit OT cuts during the season. You consider becoming a fan of crying. You and the 30+ years of experience coach bring your A game (physical and mental along with your bag of witty comebacks) to practice each day and try your best to keep New Gen at bay and under control. You succeed. . . some of the time. Screaming matches and strong language are the norm (by Next Gen and NOT the coach) if you accidentally leave on the wrong interval; miss the interval; foul up the set; or god forbid, *try* and cheat. Any and all respect that you may have earned is lost forever if you even think about putting on fins or paddles during a swim set. SDK was learned at birth and is performed better than Orca or Flipper. 50 LCM SDK repeats of no breathers with NO fins are a mere warm up. If a cat fight erupts within the New Gen group, you AND the coaches run for the nearest bomb shelter. You are secretly pleased that you didn't have to compete with this group of gals b/c you know you would lose. Your masters teammates are not pleased at all or even slightly amused when you apply some of the tricks and lessons learned with New Gen. They are happy when you leave to go back with New Gen. You love every minute of it. You thought you were tough. You're not. It's the next generation.

The Next Generation: Bad Girls You may think you're tough. Sure, you clawed your way up the corporate ladder making six figures before age 30; Yadda yadda yadda, blah blah blah; You love every minute of it. You thought you were tough. You're not. It's the next generation. I thought this was supposed to relate to actual species of swimmers. Putting the traits of WNBA players and fans together and calling them something else is inventive but not accurate. Tough girls making boys cry? Not while estrogen exists.

lol, that is what I have most in common with the Next Gen girls. I'm apparently a huge cheater and thus disqualified from membership on that basis. Jim, Women do not swim competitively to attract men. Swimming makes you look like a tank, and is counter-productive on that score. Revenge and escapism are probably more accurate. Don't look at me. No kids. Eva. Plus a lot of other things that DQ me as well like being a swimming hack who can't SDK - at all. There are some well known affairs that took place between some female swimmer champions (including olympic medalists) and others who may or may not have been their coaches. :confused: And is revenge all that far from hate which while seemingly the opposite of love is actually the closest emotion to love. . . Perhaps Freud was correct in that it's all about sex or death. . .

The Dementia Patient This person includes a wide variety characteristics, mainly by their inability to adequately perceive time. Symptoms include - Not waiting 5 seconds between people on starts of drills and immediately dispatching after the person in front of them go's - Inability to keep track of set - Consistently forgetting to "go" - Losing track of counts - Constantly asking questions - Not listening to anything that is said to them Poseidon The one person when circle swimming that always is swimming past you in the opposite direction who conveniently is always there when you are taking a breath. This person somehow creates a massive tidal wave when swimming past you resulting in a mouthful of water.

The Unblinking Eye This creepy observer sits in a chair on the pool deck before and/or after his workout, staring intently at the pool the entire time. What does he want? Uhhh, I don't want to ask him, you ask him. S-M-R-T You can tell she's serious about fitness, because she's swimming with eyeglasses while the rest of us cavemen use goggles. S-M-R-T-R She is the last person you want to share a lane with. She has very poor vision and doesn't wear goggles or glasses. Characteristics include being a human pinball between the lanelines, stopping 20 feet from the wall, and squinting in random directions between swims. The Ladies Man By never putting his head in the water and moving very slowly, he is always available for a conversation, and is happy to hear all about your in-laws. Despite his advanced age and furry back, his technique works well. He is very popular with the noodlers.

The Conundrum - If her legs don't move in the water - at ALL - then what are the fins for? Ballast? Steerage? The Conundrum II - Whoever told him that using a pull buoy while kicking from the knees down is the only way to train... well I suppose I should thank them. I never, ever have to worry about losing a race to The Conundrum II. :shakeshead:

The Conundrum III - To be fair, he is working really really hard. He must be at or near his max heart rate. Swimming with his head out of the water, he gains only a few inches per stroke. I counted, and he took 81, err let me properly emphasize - :afraid:EIGHTY ONE:afraid: strokes to go 25 yards. But here's the weird thing: every so often he puts his head down and takes 4 or 6 strokes in between breaths. You'd think that would be more efficient, since his body position is better, but instead he makes no forward progress at all until he brings his head back out of the water. How does that happen?

The Conundrum IV - What she's doing looks like flutter kick to me. How, then, does she end up going backwards? She pushes off the wall or the bottom of the pool to get some forward momentum, then kicks and kicks (with a kickboard), slowing down until she eventually starts going in reverse and the cycle repeats. How? Actually... I don't want to know. I'll just keep kicking forwards! :banana:

Starfish in the middle of the lane. "This is my lane. Don't even think of passing me!"