Swimming Stereotypes

The Creepy Old Guy Middle aged man that always wants to share his lane with the 20 and 30 something women but will never swim with men. He finds ways to hug or touch said lanemates. Said lanemates refuse to swim in front of him during breaststroke sets. :blush: Hey, be nice.

The Shower Rat These people swims for 30 minutes and hang out in the shower til it is the end of practice and there parents come to pick them up. One guy on my age group was "shower ratting" one day fell and got a concussion from his "shower ratting activities". The Shocker This is a swimmer who looks out of shape and probably can't swim for diddly squat. Gets up to race and shocks the people who stated that he/she couldn't swim. This is also true for the swimmer that is built like an adonis or supermodel. This person gets in the pool and is so slow and uncoordinated. Shocker Examples At 14, I was at summer leage champs and this was my fat year. At 15, I found an old newspaper picture and I was thinner there. Well, my friend's dad was telling me that this woman was going off about how I can't swim and I wasn't going to do anything. Mind you, I was seeded first at the meet. I swam my race and won. This woman was in utter shock and said,"he's a jock." At college, this guy on my team was 6 foot 5 inches and kind of built like Michael Phelps. Well, when he would get in the pool, he was so uncoordinated. Of course, he improved during the swim season but I am sure that people were initially intimidated by him.

Some I see include: Swimmer Barbie Wears a two-piece suit to show off her "enhancements" and always gets in late to make sure everybody sees her. Triathlete Only swims freestyle (slowly) and wears a wetsuit at practice. 18-24 Age Group Stands around on deck talking about vapid topics, texting their friends, listening to their iPods, and get in after warmup is over. Male ex-Collegiate Swimmer Talks incessantly about his college times and the other guys he swam against. High-fives other guys at workout and talks louder than anybody else in the pool, coach included. Man, I show up at practice just for the Barbie Swimmer, makes those 5: 30 workouts more entertaining.

Hardest Working Man in the Swim Business Trains like a ferocious animal in workout, but has no speed when it comes to racing. Lane Guy Works out in a lane that is far too fast or slow for him. I totally used to be the Hardest Working Man in the Swim Business. I would train harder than anyone in the area(from Sept 94 to March 96) but I was never able to turn that hard work into a Junior National Cut or a Full Ride to College. There were a few people that trained with me and had stellar performances. That was annoying because these people wouldn't had these great times if they were training with the lazy bums on my old age group team. I was the Lane Guy from maybe April to July. I was still training with the second fastest group because I didn't feel that I was ready to train with the Big Dogs yet. Of course, everyone around me was telling me that I was ready and telling me that I was way too fast for this lane. Now, I am with the fastest group and tearing things up.

The ADD/ Mathematically Challenged - Often the same personRegardless of how often the set is repeated by the coach/ lane mates AND/ OR written on the dry erase board, ADD NEVER knows what's going on. Mathematically challenged NEVER counts correctly during distance sets. Hmmm .... I sometime lose count in 200s ... I think there needs to be a separate sub category of Sprinter ADD. The Purist: Never ever uses equipment and scornfully looks down their nose at those who do. Constantly comments on use of equipment. Especially dislikes fins, which must be the devil's work. When they take a break from the lectures and go to a meet, they get whooped. The Excusifier: Has to tell you, throughout practice, the 10,00 reasons they aren't going fast tonight: got a cold, didn't get sleep, re-doing their kitchen and is sore, lifted weights and is sore, not ready for the set, hasn't been working out enough, etc. This type causes another type to roll their eyes: The Stoic The opposite of the Male Ex-College Swimmer and the opposite of Wolf-Girl or Wolf-Whine (discussed on other threads). This experienced and speedy swimmer never complains or whines during practice. Works most sets. Encourages lanemates. Knows what repeat he's on. Thanks the coach at the end of workout. Comes back for more.

The BFFs Y These are the 4 or 5 pals that insist on swimming in the same lane together every practice even when there are 4 lanes on either side of them with only 1 or 2 swimmers. BFFs are also prone to lots of practice chitter chatter. Each one of these swimmers could definitely qualify to be a Yapper.

The Stoic The opposite of the Male Ex-College Swimmer and the opposite of Wolf-Girl or Wolf-Whine (discussed on other threads). This experienced and speedy swimmer never complains or whines during practice. Works most sets. Encourages lanemates. Knows what repeat he's on. Thanks the coach at the end of workout. Comes back for more. Hey, this one is me...except for the experienced and speedy part!:-)

The GGTTW (God's Gift to the World). This type is typically male (but not always), built like a Greek god, holds lots of records, and has an unusually high opinion of himself. Can only speak to or communicate with other GGTTWs. Not really interested in what the opposite sex says unless it involves a tumble in the bed.

Beer Glasses - Thinks they're swimming straight and strong but in reality they're thrashing all over the lanes, invoking fear in the hearts of lane mates.

The Stalker No matter what practice you attend (morning, lunch or evening) - and you have no set pattern - that person is there. Even if you decide to randomly do a double. They are there doing a double too. The Faker/ The Psych Out This person whines incessantly about how they suck; are slow; are out of shape; they haven't swum in 27+ years; they can't do that stroke or distance and then they end up kicking everyone's ass. The Mid Life Crisis This person is around middle age but insists on training and swimming meets with the kids while wearing the skimpiest training suits possible; tan is optional. LOL Oh wait, that's me! The Man's Man 90% weight lifting 9% telling others what to do to become a better swimmer 1% swimming The Dictator He/ She is not the coach; however, you are more afraid of this person than you are of the coach. This person is in complete control of the lane at all times. Lane order is told to you. Sets are followed to a T unless Dictator (not the coach) changes them. You must leave 10 seconds behind each person or suffer the consequences. If you are faster than said lane leader/ dictator, you are still not to break through that 10 second barrier. Otherwise, it's the rack. The Leper You are so annoying that you are the only one in the lane. SPED Racer They suddenly want to race you provided 1. they have fins and/ or paddles and/ or other piece of speed enhancing equipment and you don't 2. they win