Equipment Rep
Trains with every piece of equipment available at all times.
The Luddite
Trains with nothing. Only uses a loin cloth and goggles in workout.
The Barnacle
Leaves right on your feet. Couldn't count to five or ten if his life depnded on it.
The Coach
Not an actual coach, but someone who is consumed with technique. Swimming is a precise set of moves that can be broken down, categorized, and scientifically analyzed.
The Jaded
Could care less about technique. Just wants to swim and leave the analysis to the eggheads.
The Swimaholic
Trains at least 10 swimming workouts a week. Anything less is viewed as not trying.
Fast Guy who Never Trains
Shows up once a month and breaks national records in practice.
Hardest Working Man in the Swim Business
Trains like a ferocious animal in workout, but has no speed when it comes to racing.
Lane Guy
Works out in a lane that is far too fast or slow for him.
The Crack Guy
Dude, pull your swimsuit up or get a bigger size.
The Newbie
Shows up to practice in board shorts and a scuba mask.
_________________
As for myself, I would fall into the categories of Luddite and Jaded. Also, I wrote this from a male perspective, but the women are included as well. Any other stereotypes?
The Stalker
No matter what practice you attend (morning, lunch or evening) - and you have no set pattern - that person is there. Even if you decide to randomly do a double. They are there doing a double too.
The Faker/ The Psych Out
This person whines incessantly about how they suck; are slow; are out of shape; they haven't swum in 27+ years; they can't do that stroke or distance and then they end up kicking everyone's ass.
The Mid Life Crisis
This person is around middle age but insists on training and swimming meets with the kids while wearing the skimpiest training suits possible; tan is optional. LOL Oh wait, that's me!
The Man's Man
90% weight lifting
9% telling others what to do to become a better swimmer
1% swimming
The Dictator
He/ She is not the coach; however, you are more afraid of this person than you are of the coach. This person is in complete control of the lane at all times. Lane order is told to you. Sets are followed to a T unless Dictator (not the coach) changes them. You must leave 10 seconds behind each person or suffer the consequences. If you are faster than said lane leader/ dictator, you are still not to break through that 10 second barrier. Otherwise, it's the rack.
The Leper
You are so annoying that you are the only one in the lane.
SPED Racer
They suddenly want to race you provided
1. they have fins and/ or paddles and/ or other piece of speed enhancing equipment and you don't
2. they win
The Stalker
No matter what practice you attend (morning, lunch or evening) - and you have no set pattern - that person is there. Even if you decide to randomly do a double. They are there doing a double too.
The Faker/ The Psych Out
This person whines incessantly about how they suck; are slow; are out of shape; they haven't swum in 27+ years; they can't do that stroke or distance and then they end up kicking everyone's ass.
The Mid Life Crisis
This person is around middle age but insists on training and swimming meets with the kids while wearing the skimpiest training suits possible; tan is optional. LOL Oh wait, that's me!
The Man's Man
90% weight lifting
9% telling others what to do to become a better swimmer
1% swimming
The Dictator
He/ She is not the coach; however, you are more afraid of this person than you are of the coach. This person is in complete control of the lane at all times. Lane order is told to you. Sets are followed to a T unless Dictator (not the coach) changes them. You must leave 10 seconds behind each person or suffer the consequences. If you are faster than said lane leader/ dictator, you are still not to break through that 10 second barrier. Otherwise, it's the rack.
The Leper
You are so annoying that you are the only one in the lane.
SPED Racer
They suddenly want to race you provided
1. they have fins and/ or paddles and/ or other piece of speed enhancing equipment and you don't
2. they win
