Which poster would you most like to race and in what event?

Sorry I have been off the forum for so long, not only do we not have internet in-home, our power went off for 5 days!!!:help: Donna, you've been missed! So glad that you're back. I'm interested in hearing your training tales and woes as you get ready for the big race. Perhaps you could think of sharing your experiences on a thread? Just a thought. Happy swimming.:wiggle:

You people with accents, don't even know you have accents :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: Oh trust me, we do ;)

Status report: 1) The breaststroke memory erasure implant chip is nearing completion. When installed in a victi... subject... they will forget all about the hated stroke. Now, we're talking!! :lolup: What happens when you read posts from breaststrokers lamentably and laughingly lauding their artificial "artistic" abilities (that are absolute anemic anathema) and delivering devastating dissing on the king of all strokes? Is the memory of that erased too? I won't have to wait for the Bork to install FlyQueen on the thrown if completion is near ... Call Girl. :joker:

Also make sure to tell LBJ that the northern sesquipedalianist has blown the lid off our secret plans....ah ..excuse me, I meant to say: tell LBJ that I need to talk to him soon about optimal practices when swimming long open water swims in arctic conditions...yaeh thats the ticket. Resistance is futile. You will be assim..... errr.... Hi everyone.... Actually JB, I cut a side deal with the Canadians that they would be spared if they delivered Alexandra Paul to me to be my love slave. I told them that, in a pinch, I'd take Jeri Ryan or Janine Turner. They are working on it, although they tell me that they are having problems driving a dog sled to Hollywood to pick one of them up. I truth, my employer has unreasonably decided that the priority project I am on has to actually get done in a finite amount of time, hence my absence. (Oddly, the project IS the assimilation of Canada into our merciless marketing grip. Australia is crushed next.) I am being aided in this by actual Canadian citizens (aka traitors) who are women with the cutest accents. (e.g. the word "about" is pronounced "aboot"). Status report: 1) The breaststroke memory erasure implant chip is nearing completion. When installed in a victi... subject... they will forget all about the hated stroke. 2) I am in the last stages of designing wheels to fit on the sled runners of the Canadians' dog sleds for "Operation Alexandra". They will have no excuse of "lack of snow" in getting to Hollywood when that is done. 3) Training is lagging a bit this year due to wife's rediculous demands to complete remodeling of the house. Her priorities always astound me. Next she'll want me to get around to filing our 1996 tax return, I'm sure. For the record, I did NOT call backstrokers "call girls". I said that the stroke itself was the "call girl" of swim strokes. However, if any female backstroker(s) wish to prove me wrong, I am open to "correction." Now back to our regularly scheduled merciless takeover... -LBJ

I am being aided in this by actual Canadian citizens (aka traitors) who are women with the cutest accents. (e.g. the word "about" is pronounced "aboot"). Despite some sort of mass-delusion south of the 49th parallel, no real Canadian ever pronounced "about" as "aboot" (ə-būt). Canadians pronounce it as "a boat" (ə-bōt).

Everyone needs to understand that The Bork and I used to converse in perfectly terse Hemingway-esque anglo-saxonisms until subjected to ionic radiation during the usms forums flame wars, after which we rapidly mutated to pusilanimous pussyfooting when seeking to avoid appearing incivil, while still delivering devastating dissing. posted by the canadian curmudgeon Ah yes ...who could forget those glorious and tulmultuous days of the infamous forum flame wars....the murderous rampages and mass forum suspensions.....those were the days eh Cruise.....I get tingles all up and down my spine just thinking about it....And to think that our perfectly wonderful and maniacal plan to continue hurling our mountains of utterly menevolent monstrosities at one another while they blissfully pass by the unsuspecting eyes of our Matriarchial and monocratic forum web masters is working is a real testiment to our monolithic sized intellects (and egos...he..he). Newmastersswimmer

What's all this aboat a boot eh?

Actually JB, I cut a side deal with the Canadians that they would be spared if they delivered Alexandra Paul to me to be my love slave. I told them that, in a pinch, I'd take Jeri Ryan or Janine Turner. They are working on it, although they tell me that they are having problems driving a dog sled to Hollywood to pick one of them up. Status report: 1) The breaststroke memory erasure implant chip is nearing completion. When installed in a victi... subject... they will forget all about the hated stroke. 2) I am in the last stages of designing wheels to fit on the sled runners of the Canadians' dog sleds for "Operation Alexandra". They will have no excuse of "lack of snow" in getting to Hollywood when that is done. 3) Training is lagging a bit this year due to wife's rediculous demands to complete remodeling of the house. Her priorities always astound me. Next she'll want me to get around to filing our 1996 tax return, I'm sure. Now back to our regularly scheduled merciless takeover posted by my evil cohort...LBJ Thanks for the updates LBJ....sounds like you've got everything under control for now as things seem to be moving along rather swimmingly for the time being. They will all soon be assimilated into 24th century racewalking and butterflying drones...Mwuhahahaha! Newmastersswimmer

Everyone needs to understand that The Bork and I used to converse in perfectly terse Hemingway-esque anglo-saxonisms until subjected to ionic radiation during the usms forums flame wars, after which we rapidly mutated to pusilanimous pussyfooting when seeking to avoid appearing incivil, while still delivering devastating dissing.

FlyQueen/Baby Sister: I think you should be racing some_girl. I believe, from her hipster ways, she's closer in age. I'm waiting to see the FlyQueen's results from this weekend before issuing a challenge. I like to know where I stand.