This was in today's "Dear Abby" column in the paper:
DEAR ABBY: I am a 55-year-old female who competes in triathlons for fun, fitness and health. I consulted my doctor because I was having foot pain. When I told him I was a runner and was preparing for a marathon race, his response was, "At your age, you could hardly call it a race."
I was shocked. I repeated the insulting comment to my husband, who has never supported me in this nor attended my races. He replied, "Well, you don't actually consider yourself an athlete, do you?"
I am so offended that I want to dismiss both my doctor and my husband. I just finished a race with 5,000 women. Every one of them was fabulous and serious, no matter how old or what they looked like. It was the spirit of the sport that mattered. At what age does one stop being an athlete? -- OLDER ATHLETE, EUGENE, ORE.
This raised some interesting questions in my mind about support, encouragement, or the lack thereof. I don't want to discuss the "athlete-yes-or-no" question. Instead, I'd like to know how people out there deal with non-supportive spouses, friends, co-workers, doctors, etc.
My own experience includes being teased by my co-workers for "getting beat by a 70-year-old woman." (This was after a big meet where they viewed my results on the Internet.) This came from men who are at least 50 pounds overweight and can barely walk from their cars to their desks.
My doctor and I regularly share a lane. He kicks my butt. Fortunately, he is in the next older age group. Last week he gave me some solid tips on streamlining, and helped another master with her flip turn.
I wouldn't hesitate to seek out a sports-minded doc; they aren't hard to find. Trading out spouses and family may be not as simple.
I was curious about "Dear Abby's" response, so I googled it...
Dear Older Athlete: When one becomes a couch potato — perhaps like your husband. According to Merriam-Webster's Collegiate Dictionary (11th Edition), an athlete is "a person who is trained or skilled in exercise, sports or games requiring physical strength, agility or stamina." And whether your husband chooses to acknowledge it or not is beside the point.
As for your doctor, I'd say his attempt at humor was demeaning, and he should practice his profession only if he's wearing a muzzle. I wouldn't blame you if you "laugh" your way to another doctor who practices preventive medicine by encouraging, and supporting, his patients' fitness regimens.
My wife is great she encourages me to go to the pool and swim when I am off, which is not very often. My 19 year old college girl also thinks it is cool.
Katie thought it was so cool she invited the old guy to swim with her college swim club last year when we came to visit. It sure was fun watching those kids size me up and then smoking them. This is not a competive team thank goodness or I would have been cannon fodder.
After taking Katie to meets for years I got to take her to a masters meet last year so she could watch me. I thought it was very cool for Katie and my wife to be yelling for me and enjoying watching the old guy swim. After the meet Katie was very adamet that I get all of my ribbons because they all were best times for me( first masters meet). I had more fun than I should have watching Katie and my wife cheer. Coach Katie also handed out pointers on each of my strokes and how I could improvemy endurance.
As for people who make fun of me for swimming sounds to me like a personal problem........ So who cares. I will worry about them when they can beat me, there resting pulse, blood pressure, and cholesterol is less than mine,
Have a great day
Paul
Originally posted by swimlong
I've gone over and over why my husband does not support my swimming. ... Here's my list:
2. Insecurity - you are fit or getting fit and he/she is not.
I don't get why some husbands aren't supportive of their wives swimming.
From the male perspective, the BEST female swimming bodies painted with a well-fitting speedo are worthy of being on a Cosmo magazine cover. Now, it's true that not all female swimming bodies fit this example, but swimming improves ANY female (or male) body. Why any husband wouldn't want to encourage that is beyond my grasp. Visual stimulation is near the top of any male's list of what attracts them to females. This should be a no-brainer for husbands.
Ladies -- make the most of your improvements in this area. Show him how that teddy fits better and better as you move along your training schedule! :D :D
I don't get why some husbands aren't supportive of their wives swimming.
From the male perspective, the BEST female swimming bodies painted with a well-fitting speedo are worthy of being on a Cosmo magazine cover. Now, it's true that not all female swimming bodies fit this example, but swimming improves ANY female (or male) body. Why any husband wouldn't want to encourage that is beyond my grasp. Visual stimulation is near the top of any male's list of what attracts them to females. This should be a no-brainer for husbands.
My husband is pretty supportive of my swimming -- but he also expects me to be supportive of his athletic addictions. My doctors likewise try to keep me in the water, instead of just telling me to "rest," which I appreciate.
A pet peeve of mine though, and one which I don't hear infrequently, is that men/teenage boys don't like female swimmer bodies. We have broad shoulders, we look like we're on steroids, we're buff, we can beat people up. I would have thought this neanderthalian view would have undergone a transformation in more recents times, with so many former athletes as moms. But, alas, I have heard this out of the mouth of teenage boys.
Fortunately, like the last poster, my husband likes athletic, trim bodies and there are obviously others like him. But it still seems like the "ideal" girl body, or at least what I hear, is thin, thin, thin. Nearly anorexicly thin. I actively discourage this thinking and encourage my girls to be as athletic as possible. But I do worry about society's obsession with thinness ... as opposed to being healthy, lean and fit.
My husband is pretty supportive of my swimming -- but he also expects me to be supportive of his athletic addictions. My doctors likewise try to keep me in the water, instead of just telling me to "rest," which I appreciate.
A pet peeve of mine though, and one which I don't hear infrequently, is that men/teenage boys don't like female swimmer bodies. We have broad shoulders, we look like we're on steroids, we're buff, we can beat people up. I would have thought this neanderthalian view would have undergone a transformation in more recents times, with so many former athletes as moms. But, alas, I have heard this out of the mouth of teenage boys.
Fortunately, like the last poster, my husband likes athletic, trim bodies and there are obviously others like him. But it still seems like the "ideal" girl body, or at least what I hear, is thin, thin, thin. Nearly anorexicly thin. I actively discourage this thinking and encourage my girls to be as athletic as possible. But I do worry about society's obsession with thinness ... as opposed to being healthy, lean and fit.
Not for me. I look for a sparkling personality and sense of humour first. After that like a little curve on my woman...
I think the Lohan/Richie/Hilton skinny girls look horrid. Think about yesterday's sex symbols Marilyn and Jane Russell (who still inspire today)etc. They would look enormous next to the pin ups of today. Skinny is a a fad...
This is certainly an interesting thread. My wife was always supportive of my swimming. Never questioned my travels for meets, etc. Never even blinked when I would leave for weeks at a time for training. It was something that she knew about when she entered the relationship.
That brings to light an interesting scenario if your significant other believes that they can change your habits to suit them. Obviously a lot of people think that they can do that when they get into a relationship, but in reality support should be the most important... not forcing someone to change.
I guess I'm one of the lucky ones - so far anyway. I told my mom I was headed back to the pool, and a few days later I got a package in the mail - my old team suits, warm-ups and letterman's jacket! :laugh2:
4. Financial While swimming is cheap, as far as sports go (try skiing, triathalons, mountain biking....) any hit on a family's finances is bound to create negative vibes at some time.
Ug, if you want to spend money, try figure skating. My husband is thrilled that I'm headed for the pool. I was in the market for new boots and blades - easily $1000 - when I got sidelined. I haven't heard a peep out of him regarding a couple of new suits, some goggles, and a lap counter.
As for the swimmer's body, I'm sure he is hopeful, but at six months post-partum, I'm not there yet. We'll be trying for a second this summer, so any gains I make probably won't last too long anyway. :dunno:
I, for one, would like to see a SI swimsuit edition with swimmers in it. Just might change the minds of a few teenage boys. The womens beach volley ball matches are always better attended than the mens. (certainly a fair portion of the audience wouldn't know a dig from a spike)
Compared to our counter parts in the general population,Masters Swimmers look great!! Hollywood has this sick obsession with skinnyness that is way beyond unhealthy.
