somewhat swimming related

To be honest I have never watched any reality shows, to me they are not really, reality.

Originally posted by Conniekat8 I know, I know, you guys are always looking to figure out what to say so that the girls would like you, so you don't end up looking like a total cad.... but, we know which lane you're really swwimming in! :P Not really. This falls in the "Do you think she's prettier than me?" category - ANYTHING you say gets you in trouble. There are only 2 ways to deal with this, either: 1) Say nothing. Don't even react. Try not to breathe. Pray you'll have a heart attack and die. 2) Diss the other women completely: "That skank? She's got enough makeup on to paint all the revolutionary slogans on the walls in Tijuana." (Tip: No sarcasm allowed, eg: "That skank? Just because she's rich and thin and beautiful, why would any sane man want to tangle with that.") Some of us have been married a LONG time and we have learned the hard way. -LBJ

I must confess I enjoy the Real World and The Real World Road Rules challenges ... other than not a big reality TV fan ...

First of all why on God's green earth would a woman ask is she prettier than me? MORON! Get some self-confidence! Also does this make me look fat? The answer to that is always NO. As quickly as can possibly said. Do NOT hesitate! But ladies, don't ask stupid things like that unless you are trying to pick a fight ...

Originally posted by SwiminONandON Also does this make me look fat? The answer to that is always NO. As quickly as can possibly said. Do NOT hesitate! What a pretty thing to believe. Here's the truth: Does this make me look fat? NO. Are you sure? YES. How come you never said that before? Said what? That I wasn't fat. I didn't think it needed to be said. So you can take me for granted now. I'm not taking you for granted. Did you even tell Keather she was fat? No, of course not, she's not fat. Oh, so you've noticed that she's buff. No, I mean yes. No. I mean, what does it matter? Oh, so I don't matter any more? What? So I'm really really sorry that I always never said that you were fat and it will always never happen again. -LBJ

Originally posted by Leonard Jansen Not really. This falls in the "Do you think she's prettier than me?" category - ANYTHING you say gets you in trouble. There are only 2 ways to deal with this, either: 1) Say nothing. Don't even react. Try not to breathe. Pray you'll have a heart attack and die. 2) Diss the other women completely: "That skank? She's got enough makeup on to paint all the revolutionary slogans on the walls in Tijuana." (Tip: No sarcasm allowed, eg: "That skank? Just because she's rich and thin and beautiful, why would any sane man want to tangle with that.") Some of us have been married a LONG time and we have learned the hard way. -LBJ You guys, that one is really easy to answer. Every girl wants to be your one and only princess... Just lie to us and tell us you were focusing on ME, and didn't even notice the other one. And when we ask, do theese pants make me look fat... just say, sorry honey, I haven't noticed anything other than ... you're so beatiful, all the blood is gone out of my head.

Originally posted by Peter Cruise I think female swimmers are far more attractive than the Paris Hiltons of this world (and far smarter, even though one of the smart ones forgot to breathe in a 200 back, tee-hee). Heh, hem, cough cough. Sorry I had something stuck in my throat! I don't know, I don't think you can get any more stupid than to forget to do the most natural physiological function there is! :p BTW, I thought your joke was funny (although I guess not appropriate for this audience). I'll repeat it :) My coworkers would find it funny.

This reminds me of the TV commercial where a guy is reading a newspaper when his wife comes in and asks if a dress makes her look fat. His response? Absolutely. Had me rolling for a few minutes!!

What a pretty thing to believe. Here's the truth: Does this make me look fat? NO. Are you sure? YES. How come you never said that before? Said what? That I wasn't fat. I didn't think it needed to be said. Strike ONE, you're better off digressing into giving her a compliment, saying, honey youre so beatiful, You and FAT never cross my mind as connected. I'm just your typical silly guy, not pointing out enough how beautiful you are, I should do that more. Then come over and hug her. Does this make me look fat is usually a fishning expedition for a compliment and some attention. Can't believe you guys haven't figured that one out. :rolleyes: So you can take me for granted now. I'm not taking you for granted. Did you even tell Keather she was fat? No, of course not, she's not fat. Strike TWO, never admit to noticing another girl!!! We know you notice, we just don't wanna know - ya know. Oh, so you've noticed that she's buff. No, I mean yes. No. I mean, what does it matter? Oh, so I don't matter any more? What? By this point, you're in a deep doo doo, may as well open an account at Flowers.com ' So I'm really really sorry that I always never said that you were fat and it will always never happen again. -LBJ

I just drop something breakable and let her call me a dumba**. By the time I've cleaned it up, she's forgotten the question.