Advice for dad of new 6yo swimmer

At the age of six..I don't know...get cap and goggles on correctly..be nice to other kids...say above the water when coach talks....she's SIX.... There is a long CLUB journey a head of her in which she'll be the most successful when she realizes her goals and along with her coach they will design a plan for her to achieve them.. You...feed, cloth em, pay for it, volunteer, and drive them there..as swim parents we have enough on our plates to leave out the wet issues... Swim mom of a 13 year old top ranked swimmer in our LSC and a first year 8 year old..also..my husband is an official, I'm the club registrar and many other positions to help grow and support our swimmers and their families...

Thank you for the feedback. Our swim club is new. They had their first year round swim team last year with ~30 swimmers. This year it is up to 227. There is A LOT of newness all around. For me and many others, communication and education is key. I am taking notes, trying to identify all of my own pitfalls, expectations and mission of the coaches (what the coaches are trying to develop in our swimmers at each level). Pitfalls that I am trying to stop: 1. Walking side to side at the pool while she swims. I am getting much better at this. 2. Stop "uncoaching" from the bleachers 3. Go to the upstairs gym for her practice 4. When I want to get involved at a practice, be the photographer only from a distance You need to seriously and immediately stop all of the above. That is straight up loco mccrazy behavior. She is six. You need to drop her off and leave. Or, sit in the stands if you must and read. If you feel compelled to stay at the club and hawk over her, consider becoming heavily involved as an official, team dad, or some other productive and encouraging use of your time as a swim father. None of what you are doing in any way helps her swimming. There are reasons there are no 10/u USAS time standards. It is so kids can learn to swim away from the glare of the parental time obsession spotlight.

I like what everyone else has said. From the swimmer side of things, I'll just say my memories from meets prior to the age of 10 are vague. So for me, as long as swimming was fun, I kept going. Let the coaches coach. My father was a vocal supporter, but he officiated for many years to tame the beast haha.

BigRedDad - I agree with all of the above about you letting her own her own swimming. If you are competitive, then get in the water yourself! You are at the right place to find out how to start. You have some terrific questions. Remember, her accomplishments are not yours. If you need an outlet for your competitive nature then compete yourself. There's nothing more obnoxious than a parent trying to compete vicariously through a six year old... Getting in the water yourself will give you a whole new appreciation for what she is doing, as well :)

She got over coming in near last in all 4 strokes after a lollipop. Obviously - you need a lollipop, too. It will make you feel a lot better.

You need to seriously and immediately stop all of the above. That is straight up loco mccrazy behavior. She is six. You need to drop her off and leave. Or, sit in the stands if you must and read. If you feel compelled to stay at the club and hawk over her, consider becoming heavily involved as an official, team dad, or some other productive and encouraging use of your time as a swim father. None of what you are doing in any way helps her swimming. There are reasons there are no 10/u USAS time standards. It is so kids can learn to swim away from the glare of the parental time obsession spotlight. I was going to post this. Don't watch the practices at all. Go to the gym as you suggested or read a book if you want to stay near the pool. You have to trust the coaches. If she is discouraged by how she is placing against people 3 years older you could keep track of her times and encourage her about her own improvements. She is at an age where she will probably be getting quite a bit faster year to year but the improvement will not be steady. Sometimes she will swim swim slower and sometimes she will drop of a lot of time.

... and I'd add, "Build friendships on the team." More than anything, my kids have stayed in the sport because their social network is at the pool. I've got a little history on this subject as I have 3 competitive swimming daughters, all of whom started around 5-6 years old My experience too; all three of my kids swam from 5-6 through HS, and as a former swimmer i had to learn to give them space - it's their journey. Give positive feedback and encouragement and don't go nuts or worry about times, place, etc. at age 5-6. To the extent you can, support the social aspects of the swimming experience - driving to meets, practices, and other such events and encouraging them to particpate in team events. Swimming's a tough "individual" sport, with little time for socialization during practices, so your contributions will help them form friendships that make it easier to sustain the effort. If it's meant to be it, they will catch the fever.

Is there any advice anyone can give a conflicted father? What should my goal expectations for her be (her goal is to get wet and swim)? You've got the goals right here ... ...the only goals should be: 1. Have fun 2. Learn better stroke technique 3. Try to improve on times over the season 4. Have fun ... and I'd add, "Build friendships on the team." More than anything, my kids have stayed in the sport because their social network is at the pool. I've got a little history on this subject as I have 3 competitive swimming daughters, all of whom started around 5-6 years old and the oldest of whom is now a junior in HS. My biggest piece of advice was learned the hard way -- chill out, step back, let the coaches coach and let the swimming be your kid's thing. I don't think I quite reached the upper echelons of 'obnoxious swim parent' when my older kids were younger, but I was pretty deep into their performance, their performance relative to others, etc., etc. It took me awhile to learn how to enjoy the process, be there to support them and just let their times and results be what their times and results are. While I have similarly not yet fully developed a Buddhist complete non-attachment to their results, I'm much more mellow now. Interestingly, now that I'm so relatively chilled-out about their swimming, they come to me more now with questions about the sport than they ever did when I was "into it." So, what do you do with all of that excess swimming energy you have personally? It's a simple two point plan: Get certified as a stroke & turn judge and officiate: the sport ALWAYS needs officials and it gets you on the deck in a way that forces you to be engaged in a positive way and to not to be the crazy parent screaming at the top of your lungs when your kid's in the water. Pour your energies into your own sport of choice -- swimming, running, triathlons, etc. -- and set a good role model example for your child about setting goals, working towards them, achieving (or not), reacting, re-planning, and having fun & being healthy while doing it.

She's 6, just let her have FUN! End of story.

She's 6, there's a zillion differerent activities for her to do. She needs to be having fun and trying different stuff. Who knows if swimming is IT for her. Swimming MUST to be fun. Shes gotta want to go to practice. The whole thing is about her improving, her being healthy, stop compairing and despairing. It's unfair for 6 years olds to compete against 10 year olds. Only compare her current times with her previous times, places don't matter, Winning doesn't matter. You're a winner if you prepared well, tried hard, had fun, and made a few friends. Love her, encourage her, take her to and from practice, don't watch her practice, don't coach her, ask her about her dreams and help her make em happen without getting too caught up in it all.