Kids swimming and bullying

I'm wondering if I can get some advice from some of you familiar with youth swim teams and how they deal with disciplinary issues. As a backdrop, some of you may remember my previous description of my son as having Asperger's syndrome. He is 11 years old and, as you might imagine, a target of bullying and harassment in school. One of the offenders is a boy on his swim team who is 12 and much more physically mature. In school he has been cursing at my son, falsely telling one of the teachers that my son is "talking" and getting him in trouble (occurring on almost a daily basis, I have filed a complaint against the teacher), degrading him, etc. Most of this is primarily a school issue, but there was one event that I think relates to swimming and the team coaches should know about. One day, one of the trio of bullies went up to my son and asked him if he was any good. My son answered "yes" ( in reality he is OK, 35 sec 50 yard free). The kid called out to the swimmer I mentioned and said "hey, ....says he is good.". The swimmer responded "well, I got a 26 f...r, top that. You suck.". They essentially lured him into a trap, and he is innocent/socially awkward enough to fall into it. My opinion of young swimmers in general has been very favorable. Most of them are extremely sweet and good kids, so I was very surprised to hear about this one. I am wondering if this type of behavior, particularly degrading fellow swimmers, is one that I should bring up to the head coach. While it did not occur during practice or a meet, I do believe it is relevant to the type of swimmer and person they expect on the team. I do not think any action would be taken at this point, but at the very least the coach could talk to him or even keep a mental record should it continue. Any thoughts? I really feel that it might have more of an impact than anything the school could say or do. Icidentally, this swimmer's best time ws 28.5, 55th out of 63 for the 11-12 year-olds at JO. I looked it up:)
Parents
  • I'm sorry this is happening and I am hoping it is not on my team. I think a talk with the coach is in order. As you know, I practice with one of the local age group teams and I can tell you there is some smack talk but the coach is always watching so it stays with smack talk. They would never allow bullying if they saw it. They need to know it is going on so they can step in and also separate the kids to avoid it. As for the mom, she needs to get a clue. I'm actually dealing with this a bit at school. One kid is asking other kids to hit my son. This is in kindergarten! I have reported it to the teacher and she is separating the offender (who hits on a daily basis) from the kids as much as possible. Good luck and it was great to see you on Sunday.
Reply
  • I'm sorry this is happening and I am hoping it is not on my team. I think a talk with the coach is in order. As you know, I practice with one of the local age group teams and I can tell you there is some smack talk but the coach is always watching so it stays with smack talk. They would never allow bullying if they saw it. They need to know it is going on so they can step in and also separate the kids to avoid it. As for the mom, she needs to get a clue. I'm actually dealing with this a bit at school. One kid is asking other kids to hit my son. This is in kindergarten! I have reported it to the teacher and she is separating the offender (who hits on a daily basis) from the kids as much as possible. Good luck and it was great to see you on Sunday.
Children
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