I'm wondering if I can get some advice from some of you familiar with youth swim teams and how they deal with disciplinary issues. As a backdrop, some of you may remember my previous description of my son as having Asperger's syndrome. He is 11 years old and, as you might imagine, a target of bullying and harassment in school. One of the offenders is a boy on his swim team who is 12 and much more physically mature. In school he has been cursing at my son, falsely telling one of the teachers that my son is "talking" and getting him in trouble (occurring on almost a daily basis, I have filed a complaint against the teacher), degrading him, etc. Most of this is primarily a school issue, but there was one event that I think relates to swimming and the team coaches should know about. One day, one of the trio of bullies went up to my son and asked him if he was any good. My son answered "yes" ( in reality he is OK, 35 sec 50 yard free). The kid called out to the swimmer I mentioned and said "hey, ....says he is good.". The swimmer responded "well, I got a 26 f...r, top that. You suck.". They essentially lured him into a trap, and he is innocent/socially awkward enough to fall into it.
My opinion of young swimmers in general has been very favorable. Most of them are extremely sweet and good kids, so I was very surprised to hear about this one. I am wondering if this type of behavior, particularly degrading fellow swimmers, is one that I should bring up to the head coach. While it did not occur during practice or a meet, I do believe it is relevant to the type of swimmer and person they expect on the team. I do not think any action would be taken at this point, but at the very least the coach could talk to him or even keep a mental record should it continue.
Any thoughts? I really feel that it might have more of an impact than anything the school could say or do.
Icidentally, this swimmer's best time ws 28.5, 55th out of 63 for the 11-12 year-olds at JO. I looked it up:)
I speak from the perspective of a parent who has experienced some of the difficulties you are experiencing. For awhile my son was experiencing a lot of bullying at school - he hasn't been diagnosed as autistic but he has very eccentric interests and was slow to learn social skills.
A kid tried to give him a swirlie in the toilet, someone bit him on the bus, and another kid tried to lock him in a locker. I got VERY vocal every time and let teachers, coaches and administrators know this was not acceptable. I also talked to my son and sometimes I would say I'm going to go to school with you to give that kid a piece of my mind. He would say "please mom, don't do that!" Then we would discuss ways he could avoid drawing attention to himself and keep a lower profile. He really seemed to appreciate that! By the time he reached high school the bullying stopped completely. He is still quiet and continues to write fan fics and pursue his soldier painting and war games but he is well liked. Fight the good fight and I'm sure things will come around!
I speak from the perspective of a parent who has experienced some of the difficulties you are experiencing. For awhile my son was experiencing a lot of bullying at school - he hasn't been diagnosed as autistic but he has very eccentric interests and was slow to learn social skills.
A kid tried to give him a swirlie in the toilet, someone bit him on the bus, and another kid tried to lock him in a locker. I got VERY vocal every time and let teachers, coaches and administrators know this was not acceptable. I also talked to my son and sometimes I would say I'm going to go to school with you to give that kid a piece of my mind. He would say "please mom, don't do that!" Then we would discuss ways he could avoid drawing attention to himself and keep a lower profile. He really seemed to appreciate that! By the time he reached high school the bullying stopped completely. He is still quiet and continues to write fan fics and pursue his soldier painting and war games but he is well liked. Fight the good fight and I'm sure things will come around!
