I'm wondering if I can get some advice from some of you familiar with youth swim teams and how they deal with disciplinary issues. As a backdrop, some of you may remember my previous description of my son as having Asperger's syndrome. He is 11 years old and, as you might imagine, a target of bullying and harassment in school. One of the offenders is a boy on his swim team who is 12 and much more physically mature. In school he has been cursing at my son, falsely telling one of the teachers that my son is "talking" and getting him in trouble (occurring on almost a daily basis, I have filed a complaint against the teacher), degrading him, etc. Most of this is primarily a school issue, but there was one event that I think relates to swimming and the team coaches should know about. One day, one of the trio of bullies went up to my son and asked him if he was any good. My son answered "yes" ( in reality he is OK, 35 sec 50 yard free). The kid called out to the swimmer I mentioned and said "hey, ....says he is good.". The swimmer responded "well, I got a 26 f...r, top that. You suck.". They essentially lured him into a trap, and he is innocent/socially awkward enough to fall into it.
My opinion of young swimmers in general has been very favorable. Most of them are extremely sweet and good kids, so I was very surprised to hear about this one. I am wondering if this type of behavior, particularly degrading fellow swimmers, is one that I should bring up to the head coach. While it did not occur during practice or a meet, I do believe it is relevant to the type of swimmer and person they expect on the team. I do not think any action would be taken at this point, but at the very least the coach could talk to him or even keep a mental record should it continue.
Any thoughts? I really feel that it might have more of an impact than anything the school could say or do.
Icidentally, this swimmer's best time ws 28.5, 55th out of 63 for the 11-12 year-olds at JO. I looked it up:)
Parents
Former Member
Any teacher or coach worth anything would address this immediately. Maybe not so much in a confrontational way with the other child, but perhaps use it as a valuable learning experience. Being a coach for kids age 5 - 18, as well as teaching special education for the past 11 years, this is something I have encountered several times. Most of the time a kids insecurities or lack of knowledge of disabilities can result in aggressive/bullying type behavior. I would ask the teacher or perhaps even the coach if you could meet with kids and families of the other students, and rather than point fingers and make accusations of others bullying, maybe use this as an opportunity to educate them on asperger's and how pervasive developmental disabilities affect kids ability to interact effectively in social situations, and the best way for them to learn is by experiencing positive social interactions. I have found that this approach with students has helped tremendously, and some of the problem students once they have developed an understanding of disabilities often become more helpful than harmful to kids with disabilities. Some of my former bully type kids, have actually ended up making the best peer tutors for my students with more significant disabilities. This is something to be proactive about, and just accepting that this is part of life is not acceptable. By doing this you are modeling appropriate advocacy techniques, and self-advocacy is one of the most crucial skills children with pervasive developmental disabilities need to develop.
Any teacher or coach worth anything would address this immediately. Maybe not so much in a confrontational way with the other child, but perhaps use it as a valuable learning experience. Being a coach for kids age 5 - 18, as well as teaching special education for the past 11 years, this is something I have encountered several times. Most of the time a kids insecurities or lack of knowledge of disabilities can result in aggressive/bullying type behavior. I would ask the teacher or perhaps even the coach if you could meet with kids and families of the other students, and rather than point fingers and make accusations of others bullying, maybe use this as an opportunity to educate them on asperger's and how pervasive developmental disabilities affect kids ability to interact effectively in social situations, and the best way for them to learn is by experiencing positive social interactions. I have found that this approach with students has helped tremendously, and some of the problem students once they have developed an understanding of disabilities often become more helpful than harmful to kids with disabilities. Some of my former bully type kids, have actually ended up making the best peer tutors for my students with more significant disabilities. This is something to be proactive about, and just accepting that this is part of life is not acceptable. By doing this you are modeling appropriate advocacy techniques, and self-advocacy is one of the most crucial skills children with pervasive developmental disabilities need to develop.
