I'm wondering if I can get some advice from some of you familiar with youth swim teams and how they deal with disciplinary issues. As a backdrop, some of you may remember my previous description of my son as having Asperger's syndrome. He is 11 years old and, as you might imagine, a target of bullying and harassment in school. One of the offenders is a boy on his swim team who is 12 and much more physically mature. In school he has been cursing at my son, falsely telling one of the teachers that my son is "talking" and getting him in trouble (occurring on almost a daily basis, I have filed a complaint against the teacher), degrading him, etc. Most of this is primarily a school issue, but there was one event that I think relates to swimming and the team coaches should know about. One day, one of the trio of bullies went up to my son and asked him if he was any good. My son answered "yes" ( in reality he is OK, 35 sec 50 yard free). The kid called out to the swimmer I mentioned and said "hey, ....says he is good.". The swimmer responded "well, I got a 26 f...r, top that. You suck.". They essentially lured him into a trap, and he is innocent/socially awkward enough to fall into it.
My opinion of young swimmers in general has been very favorable. Most of them are extremely sweet and good kids, so I was very surprised to hear about this one. I am wondering if this type of behavior, particularly degrading fellow swimmers, is one that I should bring up to the head coach. While it did not occur during practice or a meet, I do believe it is relevant to the type of swimmer and person they expect on the team. I do not think any action would be taken at this point, but at the very least the coach could talk to him or even keep a mental record should it continue.
Any thoughts? I really feel that it might have more of an impact than anything the school could say or do.
Icidentally, this swimmer's best time ws 28.5, 55th out of 63 for the 11-12 year-olds at JO. I looked it up:)
Parents
Former Member
I'm sorry to hear that you're son is being bullied. Unfortunately it's part of our society, that's the reality of it. Some kids are naturally dominant and push other kids down. Even at the age of 11 or 12 I think they are still very egocentric. They don't necessarily know the impact of their actions on others. In addition, they probably don't understand other people, especially people who are "different".
I think you should definitely address the coach about this issue regardless of where the incidents are happening. The coach should expect everyone on the team to respect each other. You're child shouldn't have to think as swimming as displeasurable because of the way he's treated. I suggest starting off lightly asking the coach to talk to the team members about respecting other people.
I'm sorry to hear that you're son is being bullied. Unfortunately it's part of our society, that's the reality of it. Some kids are naturally dominant and push other kids down. Even at the age of 11 or 12 I think they are still very egocentric. They don't necessarily know the impact of their actions on others. In addition, they probably don't understand other people, especially people who are "different".
I think you should definitely address the coach about this issue regardless of where the incidents are happening. The coach should expect everyone on the team to respect each other. You're child shouldn't have to think as swimming as displeasurable because of the way he's treated. I suggest starting off lightly asking the coach to talk to the team members about respecting other people.
