2011 WSJ Article: A Workout Ate My Marriage

I think your Spa birthday gift should score major points!!!!! Great choice! I only had 3 kids and I stayed home for 8 years so I'm not necessarily an expert. (I always did part-time things such as judging gymnastics, worked 2 nights in a private gym for 4 hours, etc) I'd say the important thing is that you both have mutual respect for each others pursuits and interests and try to help each other have time to do the things you need to do to be a happy and functional person. Family time must also be respected and attended to. As a mostly stay-home mom I expected to render most services to the kids and family, but again I only had 3 kids so it really wasn't a monumental task. I normally did my workouts (running back then) 4:45-7:00 a.m. in the morning so my hubby could go to work and I'd be there for kids. Oh by the way my marriage ended up with a divorce however we are better friends now than when we were married. :chug:

but again I only had 3 kids so it really wasn't a monumental task. :chug: It wasn't?! Yikes, I'm pretty nackered from it.

It didn't make me as tired as I get now. Although now I'm much older. I really enjoyed the time I spent at home when the kids were little. By the time they were all 3 in school I was back to work full time and the whole situation sucked. I guess I'm sentimental for the old days.

Well, I'm definitely in the category of having a wife who is tolerant but feels worse about herself the more I commit to exercise. I can feel it, I can see it in her eyes. I am perfectly happy with her and love her as she is, yet the more in shape I get the less secure she becomes. I am not getting in shape for other women, . . . At times she has flat out said that the topic makes her feel worse about herself. If I try to encourage her to swim or get involved in something I worry it might come across as not being happy with her as she is. I have a similar life - I'm about 5'7" and 130lb, my sweetie is 5'9" and about 230lb - he can barely swim at all (IMO) let alone swim the way we do. He was (I think) jealous, at first when I started working out, because a lot of the people I would talk about from the pool were men, just happens there are more men who swim than women (probly due to the childbearing thing) - I have 5 kids, went back to school in my 30's to pursue my doctorate while raising those five - and I think he's absolutely SUPER - so supportive of all my new incarnations. I think what might have helped him was taking him to practice to see that I wasn't flirting with my practice buddies, introducing them to him (so see, he had a "claim" on me) and taking him to meets (my son's meets at this time) so he could get a hold of the excitement. We've been married almost 30 years now & he sure wishes I would play tennis with him, but it messes with my butterfly, so I don't do that much. I wonder if your sweetie gets out of breath or tires easily with exercise because she is not used to it. Remind her that it takes time, and that exercise comes in all forms - chasing after children & keeping the house spotless is a LOT of work & can completely wear me out! More than swimming, I'm sorry to say! :)

let the fact that the same person who owns fox news also owns the WSJ be your guide as to how factual this article might be. i did a lot of training with jordan this year, and we both swam to france in the shadow of the Pace Arrow. it certainly required a big commitment, and none of us could achieve success without the full support of family and friends, and since this is the 21st century, it is quite easy to keep in close contact with loved ones back home while we are holed up in dover... waiting for the call.

II only had 3 kids so it really wasn't a monumental task. Good grief - I must be doing something wrong then. I only have 2, am a SAHM and still find it hard work :afraid:

The whole family is asleep while I workout. Last year I attended one event, an open water swim, and the family came to cheer me on and shop (their priority was not necessarily in that order). I caught the bug so this is my first year training for multiple events - lake swims in Oregon, another trip to SF bay for sharkfest and a pool meet or two. We'll see how this year goes, but my first pool meet was followed by shopping again, so no complaints so far. Darrin if you make it to only one open water event in Oregon, make it to the Cascade Lakes series at Elk Lake, five events over three days in a beautiful alpine lake with majestic snow topped mountains as your backdrop, one of my all time favorite places on earth doing one of my all time favorite activities - swimming! You can swim as many or few of the events as you wish. Very social family friendly beach with kid activities planned for Saturday between races.

I think it really, really helps when your relationship is based on similar values and financial management. I don't think it's absolutely necessary that you and your significant other be athletes, but that you have activities that follow the same path and agreement of time & effort involved (daily schedule), and resources spent. I can see compatibility with other activities as well. My mother-in-law shows flowers - roses, iris, dayliliies. I've helped her for some of the competitions and it is every bit as competitive as any sport. She's pretty much asked me to leave or be quiet, which I found really funny because she was "in the zone" and getting her game face on. I laugh at myself because it would have been along the lines of her coming to my swim meet and trying to carry my bag for me, or constantly asking who's who because everyone has the same black colored kneeskin and is about 5 10 and 140 lbs. (Yes, those flowers all look alike to me!) (And i'm actually 5 8 1/2 but the optical illusion is that I am taller! hooray!) And if you aren't in alignment for the template of your life, then it's even that much more exacerbated (sp?) when you have kids. I don't like hearing parents complain about the other parent and how they "aren't supportive" of the ways their kids are raised. It usually is a difference in their core values to begin with.