This is a great topic of discussion for us.
When does working out and training for an event take too much time away from family?
Is it different if your spouse isn't a swimmer or athletic?
How does your spouse feel about how much you train each week?
What comprimises have you made?
2011 WSJ Article:
A Workout Ate My Marriage
Exercise Can Set Off Conflict About Family, Free Time; Errands vs. English Channel
What's funny is I trained with Jordan (featured in the article) on Thursday July 5th, 2007 at Asphalt Green in NYC, he gave me a ride back by my hotel which was pretty close to his office. Very nice guy.
Well, I'm definitely in the category of having a wife who is tolerant but feels worse about herself the more I commit to exercise. I can feel it, I can see it in her eyes.
I am perfectly happy with her and love her as she is, yet the more in shape I get the less secure she becomes. I am not getting in shape for other women, . . . At times she has flat out said that the topic makes her feel worse about herself. If I try to encourage her to swim or get involved in something I worry it might come across as not being happy with her as she is.
I have a similar life - I'm about 5'7" and 130lb, my sweetie is 5'9" and about 230lb - he can barely swim at all (IMO) let alone swim the way we do. He was (I think) jealous, at first when I started working out, because a lot of the people I would talk about from the pool were men, just happens there are more men who swim than women (probly due to the childbearing thing) - I have 5 kids, went back to school in my 30's to pursue my doctorate while raising those five - and I think he's absolutely SUPER - so supportive of all my new incarnations. I think what might have helped him was taking him to practice to see that I wasn't flirting with my practice buddies, introducing them to him (so see, he had a "claim" on me) and taking him to meets (my son's meets at this time) so he could get a hold of the excitement. We've been married almost 30 years now & he sure wishes I would play tennis with him, but it messes with my butterfly, so I don't do that much. I wonder if your sweetie gets out of breath or tires easily with exercise because she is not used to it. Remind her that it takes time, and that exercise comes in all forms - chasing after children & keeping the house spotless is a LOT of work & can completely wear me out! More than swimming, I'm sorry to say! :)
Well, I'm definitely in the category of having a wife who is tolerant but feels worse about herself the more I commit to exercise. I can feel it, I can see it in her eyes.
I am perfectly happy with her and love her as she is, yet the more in shape I get the less secure she becomes. I am not getting in shape for other women, . . . At times she has flat out said that the topic makes her feel worse about herself. If I try to encourage her to swim or get involved in something I worry it might come across as not being happy with her as she is.
I have a similar life - I'm about 5'7" and 130lb, my sweetie is 5'9" and about 230lb - he can barely swim at all (IMO) let alone swim the way we do. He was (I think) jealous, at first when I started working out, because a lot of the people I would talk about from the pool were men, just happens there are more men who swim than women (probly due to the childbearing thing) - I have 5 kids, went back to school in my 30's to pursue my doctorate while raising those five - and I think he's absolutely SUPER - so supportive of all my new incarnations. I think what might have helped him was taking him to practice to see that I wasn't flirting with my practice buddies, introducing them to him (so see, he had a "claim" on me) and taking him to meets (my son's meets at this time) so he could get a hold of the excitement. We've been married almost 30 years now & he sure wishes I would play tennis with him, but it messes with my butterfly, so I don't do that much. I wonder if your sweetie gets out of breath or tires easily with exercise because she is not used to it. Remind her that it takes time, and that exercise comes in all forms - chasing after children & keeping the house spotless is a LOT of work & can completely wear me out! More than swimming, I'm sorry to say! :)
