I'm sure you guys can help... I am a masters swimmer. Our son is 17, has been a club swimmer for four years, and swims on his high school team. He swims with the senior 1 group, and his practices are 2 hours 45 minutes on the weekdays and two hours on Saturdays. He is a decent, solid swimmer (state but not sectional cuts in numerous events). He is a junior in high school and is currently taking five AP courses (his decision, not my husband's and mine). His grades are good and he works hard.
Recently, he has been feeling a lot of stress due to his workload in school and swimming. He told me last night that swimming isn't fun any more. He says he thinks he still wants to swim club, possibly at the senior 2 level instead, and still wants to swim high school. He actually isn't sure he even wants to drop to a less demanding group; he isn't really sure what to do. While I think his academic load is part of why he is stressed, I know that constantly staring at a black line for hours is playing a large part as well. Aside from being supportive of him and encouraging him to talk to his coach (who is my coach as well, which could possibly complicate things), is there anything I can do to help? I don't want to be one of "those" parents, but I want to do what is best for my son. Obviously I would like him to stay in the senior 1 group, but I'm not the one swimming there. His coach knows him well, as he has been with this coach for four years. Part of the issue is that our son doesn't want to let his coach down. I know it is his call, and I'm trying to stay as objective as possible.
I'm sure many of you experienced swim burnout as a teenager. Any suggestions you can give are much appreciated.
Kristin
Parents
Former Member
I have to admit that I did encourage my daughter to quit when it seemed she was agonizing too much. She tried the ramping it down some option for awhile, but it didn't really resolve the burnout. Nor any potential time plateaus. Quitting helped. She swam only 1x this summer after taking a few months off and still swam a PR in summer (really a sprint) league. She admits to "missing" swimming now.
And Solar is right. You can never underestimate how important some seemingly meaningless miniscule thing can be to a teenager. Though perhaps this is more common among girls.
Quitting may be what he eventually has to do to, and if he does, that will be OK. We will definitely be watching the situation. If your daughter misses swimming now, that can only be a good thing. It means that she likely won't be turned off to the sport forever. Ultimately that's what I hope for my son. And yes, we have seen through experience how the small things can make a big difference to a teenager. It's scary sometimes.
I think we're all trying to relate to how we felt as teenagers dealing with this or how we feel as parents helping our teenagers deal with this. I think thinking about an analogous situation many of us can relate to might help with solutions: how do each of us deal with life when we're overloaded across work, parenting, our own exercise plans/goals, friends, family, other extra-curricular commitments. Sure, some of us just keep muddling through and try to keep all the balls in the air, but I bet most of us "quit" doing something or severely reduce our efforts at some thing. As a 40-something Type A / over-scheduling addict myself, I'm only starting to learn how to let some things go, relax some commitments, lower my own expectations. If your son can hear from you that it's OK to do so now as a teenager, I think he'll be on the road to a better balanced life. Yeah, it sounds like he's always going to be a high achiever, but if he can be a high achiever with balance ... damn, his life will be golden.
I hope so! I think a lot of us are still struggling with that same thing at 40-something. I would love to think my kids will learn from my mistakes as opposed to repeating them.
ok I've started 5 different replies and deleted them because they probably weren't appropriate because you are dealing with real life here. But maybe I think if the burnout is strong there might not be any turning back from it and that maybe he might still be swimming for every reason but his own. That's just a theory without obviously knowing the individual.
That could very well be, but I hope not. We'll definitely be monitoring the situation closely and intervene if necessary. To keep swimming wouldn't be worth it in that case. Time will tell, I suppose.
I have to admit that I did encourage my daughter to quit when it seemed she was agonizing too much. She tried the ramping it down some option for awhile, but it didn't really resolve the burnout. Nor any potential time plateaus. Quitting helped. She swam only 1x this summer after taking a few months off and still swam a PR in summer (really a sprint) league. She admits to "missing" swimming now.
And Solar is right. You can never underestimate how important some seemingly meaningless miniscule thing can be to a teenager. Though perhaps this is more common among girls.
Quitting may be what he eventually has to do to, and if he does, that will be OK. We will definitely be watching the situation. If your daughter misses swimming now, that can only be a good thing. It means that she likely won't be turned off to the sport forever. Ultimately that's what I hope for my son. And yes, we have seen through experience how the small things can make a big difference to a teenager. It's scary sometimes.
I think we're all trying to relate to how we felt as teenagers dealing with this or how we feel as parents helping our teenagers deal with this. I think thinking about an analogous situation many of us can relate to might help with solutions: how do each of us deal with life when we're overloaded across work, parenting, our own exercise plans/goals, friends, family, other extra-curricular commitments. Sure, some of us just keep muddling through and try to keep all the balls in the air, but I bet most of us "quit" doing something or severely reduce our efforts at some thing. As a 40-something Type A / over-scheduling addict myself, I'm only starting to learn how to let some things go, relax some commitments, lower my own expectations. If your son can hear from you that it's OK to do so now as a teenager, I think he'll be on the road to a better balanced life. Yeah, it sounds like he's always going to be a high achiever, but if he can be a high achiever with balance ... damn, his life will be golden.
I hope so! I think a lot of us are still struggling with that same thing at 40-something. I would love to think my kids will learn from my mistakes as opposed to repeating them.
ok I've started 5 different replies and deleted them because they probably weren't appropriate because you are dealing with real life here. But maybe I think if the burnout is strong there might not be any turning back from it and that maybe he might still be swimming for every reason but his own. That's just a theory without obviously knowing the individual.
That could very well be, but I hope not. We'll definitely be monitoring the situation closely and intervene if necessary. To keep swimming wouldn't be worth it in that case. Time will tell, I suppose.
