"Slowing down my training": Slight need to rant

Ok. I admit I have my issues. Shoulders are not being great. I have Bankart tear and slap tear and frayed superpinatus (sp) and bony erosion somewhere, but due to my age (56) and in my mind gender (female), have been told both by PT and orthopedic surgeon that I should do gentle swimming, cut back on the competitive need. Surgery is option, but I was encouraged instead to swim gently, and less distance. I can understand that I would need to begin gently and less distance, which I have been doing since January, but now I am like a race horse ready to bust out of my friggin' mind (paddock, whatever it's called where they stay). The gate? I really need to swim aggressively, as hard as I can, for many reasons. So I am willing to blow out my shoulder if that's what happens and get the surgery at that point, because I figure I have at least 30 more years of competitive swimming. I was advised to find other sports or perhaps salsa dancing or perhaps gentle breaststroke. I am much stronger after four months of much rehab and was able to do full workout with pretty fast intervals (some using fins) on Wednesday. Plan to try again tomorrow. The point of this posting (always hard for me to get to) is this: for older swimmers who are awesome and so revered in my mind, those who have swum for so many years, and raced, and are now in their 80s, 90s, and still racing, I have a strong feeling that they still are putting their all into their workouts. They may be going slower, but the effort to do their fastest is still there. Which I love. I will be talking to some of the older swimmers in my region to see what their attitude is toward late-life training. Swimming is my life! Yes, all eggs in one basket. But until that basket falls, why cut back? Am I crazy (yes)? But I am going to work hard on figuring out hand entry, continue to strengthen scapular muscles, and see what happens. I am not going to do old-lady breaststroke. Perhaps I am misperceiving PT instructions, but it certainly did not seem so. She seriously said that I needed to realize I would not always be able to swim and I should find other ways to get swim-related effects. I cried in her office and hated her, I confess to this. So I am waiting on the surgery because I am stronger, even if there seems to be a lot of stuff ready to bust, but my back is very strong and I swam a 200 meter free in what seemed an easy effort but was close to my sprint time on Wednesday, first full practice since January. There is definitely something to strengthening the scapular muscles. And there is a new move toward "scapular swimming," whatever that is, and I am going to try to investigate/write about that as well. If any most esteemed older swimmers want to weigh in on your level of effort at practice, I would love to hear it.