9 Year Old Marvel What? But How?

Interesting thread this and getting to the heart of a parents dilemma about talented athletic children. I have a son who is a good golfer and always loved the sport and from about 7-10 improved a lot… I got to the point when he reached about 12 when I had to decide what to do in terms of coaching? Did I pull him out of the local teams and county structure and pay a decent coach to get the best out of him? I agonised about this for some time and in the end decided not to and left him alone with little direct input except financial and moral support. He is naturally quite lazy and isn’t really driven enough to make the commitment. I made it clear to him that I would do anything he wanted BUT only if I saw the commitment from him! His is now 16 and plays off 5, which for those who know, is good but not great. There is absolutely no question that he could be lower – probably scratch or better but this would have required a level of internal commitment from him, which just wasn’t there! Now the $m question is – had encouraged/pushed him a bit more, how much better would he have been? As mentioned above he is naturally quite lazy and so I believe he would be a lot better and actually quite happy – as his motto is why do something yourself when there is a perfectly good adult to do it for you? My point is that IMO the only way that children should be totally committed to a sport is when the drive is coming from within them and not from their parent. This is a very fine line as support can look like coercion and can also end up being about the parent’s dreams an desires rather than the child? In my son’s case he knows that I will do whatever he wants if he is prepared to do the planning and work necessary to succeed – but bottom line is he just doesn’t care enough and that is absolutely fine... I would prefer a happy balanced child doing teenager stuff but not excelling at sport, if that’s what he wants. Basically excellence needs to come from hard graft and commitment – if it isn’t based o these principles it will end in tears…. I am also reminded of Tiger Woods when reading this thread – yes he is a phenomena and the most successful athlete in the world but did his dad do him a favour or not? For those who are students of athletics remember the middle distance runner Seb Coe? He had a very interesting relationship with his dad who was also his coach and IMO he got it right Seb was driven and his dad used all his skill and intellect to support and guide him to the top of the world! Seb is now leading the 2012 Olympic preparation in the UK. Sorry I ended up not talking about your daughter but about the wider question – but forums are democratic by their nature. Good luck to you… In the end you have to do what you think is best for you and your daughter. Remember there is plenty of time – I took up triathlon in my 20’s and made the national team with no help or support from parents – that experience put me is great stead for the rest of my life and all the good things that flow from achieving at the highest level.

No, I've paid too much attention. I'm really sorry if I have you "pegged" incorrectly, it's just that the things you said sounded incredibly like the swimming parents I remember knowing so well when I was a kid. Please understand, I've seen so much of it! I really can't know if you are like that. If you are not, I'm very sorry. Even if you are that sort of parent, I know that you're only doing it because it is your way of being a good parent. So, no more "stones". I sincerely wish you luck, and I hope that your child enjoys a terrific swimming career, one that will serve her well for her whole life. Kids learn so many things from swimming! Ditto. Truth is nobody knows. I can only do my best in helping her make the right decissions and leave it at that. Perhaps she will do well when she's older perhaps not but her education is #1 right now and that's where we don't let her slack much Guess what, she went to a swim camp last year and met Megan Jendrick and Peter Vanderkayy (however you spell that) and she got to race against Megan in the breastroke. Megan gave her a half pool length lead and it ended up a tie. My daughter could have beaten her though but it was too early in the morning. My daughter has a book written by Jendrick on how to improve your swimming. Inside she autographed it "Follow your dreams, Megan Jendrick" I thought that was really cool of her. Swimming with an olympian and holding those gold medals..pressure? nah! lol

# If that makes me a bad parent then I want to be the worst one out there. Perhaps YOUR kid will be serving MY kid a burger through the drive-up window one day. And perhaps one day YOUR kid will be on one of MY kids' couch getting psychotherapy! :bolt: *JUST KIDDING! I'd have said this to ANYONE who made that remark! * I know you were kidding, too!

And perhaps one day YOUR kid will be on one of MY kids' couch getting psychotherapy! :bolt: *JUST KIDDING! I'd have said this to ANYONE who made that remark! * I know you were kidding, too! Your kid can afford a couch?

I don't know why any sane human goes to a kid's practice unless they are swimming themselves. That is 2-3 hours of kid-free time. Let the coaches have the drama. I have to rush home and see what Fort's workout was that day and wait for qbrain to ever update his blog. Actually it's only an hour and I get free time while she's in school. I dunno, I on the other side. Her grandfather loves watching her swim, I love watching her everyone does. I guess I just don't see how that makes you "crazy". Oh well.

I don't know why any sane human goes to a kid's practice unless they are swimming themselves. That is 2-3 hours of kid-free time. Let the coaches have the drama. I have to rush home and see what Fort's workout was that day and wait for qbrain to ever update his blog. and now another blog to rush home for :) forums.usms.org/blog.php

I went over to her and quietly whispered, "you practice how you race". I've never even done that during a practice and I'm the one called a basketcase with my daughters swimming around here.:confused:

This is a great thread and I'd like to put in my two cents. Technical proficiency of a stroke is a critical block in a foundation for swimming success. So, it is indeed important that a swimmer learn proper technique but it's a very rare occurance when a parent can successfully take on that coaching role (not impossible but very very rare). When a parent is so dissatisfied with the coach / program that they want a change. there's a couple questions they should ask themselves. 1) Are they willing to move to a place where they have observed a coach / program and believe it will provide their child the service that will meet their needs? 2) Are they willing to move when or if the coach moves? 3) Would it be better to orchestrate a periodic, coaching and / or swimming clinic to help move the entire program in a positive direction? 4) As their child gets older will other coaches be replacing the previous coach ( a better coach)? 5) Are they willing to apply for an assistant coaching position and potentially become the head coach without undermining the current hierarchy. There's nothing worse than someone wanting to help and ends up creating nothing but trouble causing the old coach headaches and maybe heartaches. Great coaches have been ousted by nothing more than one parent who's great at causing trouble. I know of too many terrible and true stories involving parents of even Olympians who have made coaches either quit or move because of their behavior and back-stabbing :shakeshead: Anyway, I thought the above ideas were some things to think about. A lot of great suggestions and I hope this parent gets positive results that turn their child into a swimmer the other kids love and not dislike. Good luck, Coach T.

This is a very bizarre thread, but perhaps reflective of how parents who didn't swim themselves think about their kids' swimming. There are a few posters on this board who were very good age group swimmers and who went on to become very good senior/masters swimmers. Good here is a relative term. Ask them if they can remember some of the 9-10, 11-12 or even 13-14 age group phenom's who disappeared from the scene before college, or perhaps even before Jr/Sr Nationals... I can recall several from my time. Being "great" at age 9 is almost certainly a ticket to oblivion before the kid should be at their prime. Yes, there are always exceptions to the rule (Phelps, blah blah blah). But far more common is the age group stud who was big for their age and then stops growing (big=fast for age), plateaus when their body changes and are unable to make technique adjustments, or who loses interest when the pack catches up. The OP needs to chill out and see what happens. Sure, technique is important when you're young. So is good coaching. But far more important is having fun at the pool. And a parent watching every workout is NOT fun.

Seriously man, she's nine, relax and let her swim. Hard to tell from just internet posts but you seem a tad bit obsessed. Nothing concrete can be said about a 9 year old swimmer except maybe they get wet when they jump in the water. 33 seconds in 2 months is nothing, I've seen highly trained kids in elite programs do that and better and also go the exact opposite way, with the same pro calibre coach. They are kids, they do strange things with times. If you don't trust the coach, switch programs. The worst thing you can do for your kid is go berserk about all of this at 9 years.