9 Year Old Marvel What? But How?

You got a lot of good (and some interresting) info here. But I wanted to add something small. My suggestion would be to keep her progressing on the path that's good for HER. She's still young where she may one day become great at the one stroke she basically sunk at before. I don't understand why you wouldn't watch? I don't want to hijack the thread so you can pm me. (I'm interrested, not arguing, Please help me to understand) Lisa, watching isn't bad in and of itself, but it becomes very difficult for a parent to refrain from discussing the practice session with the child. And I suppose there's nothing wrong with THAT, either, but then the kid has to do things like explain why the coach did this or that, why so and so was the lane leader for this set, and so on. Or has to hear constructive advice on his stroke, or in some other way re-live the practice session. A person WATCHING a practice is not likely to understand it the same way as the people who are SWIMMING it... and I'm just telling you, after a while these conversations can get to be a real drag for the kid. The kid may be grateful to the parent for the opportunity to swim, but when the parent is always there, it can't help but change the dynamics, even in the best of relationships. Plus, if your parent is watching, it makes it impossible to goof off at all, ever, and even the very best swimmers love to have a little fun now and then. It's part of what keeps them coming back year after year after year.

I'm finding it hard to agree with much of anything you are posting, sorry. You talk about pushing your daughter, for who's benefit, yours or hers? Maybe she's right where she wants to be and needs to be. All pushing does is cause the object being pushed to push back. I don't get what you mean by "only going so far." You only go as far as you want to go and there's nothing wrong with that. No kid on the planet wants or needs their parents watching them at a workout. It's a universal truism that parents who do that are mcloco cuckoo. Drop her off, go get a cup of coffee. Sitting there evaluating her and her coach seems to be driving you bananas. The sport is for her, not you. It's like I told wookie as I chased him at a meet with a pair of hedge clippers - I'm doing this for your own good. In retrospect, maybe it wasn't do good for him and maybe not so good for your daughter to obsess either. What you are saying could be true if I could trust that the coach of her team was fit to be coaching. As I said before, dropping my daughter off to practice and "trusting" this man to do a good job coaching my daughter would be fine and dandy except for the fact that she's shown no visible signs of improvement under him. I dunno, maybe you are more trusting of people than I. It's a fact that to become better at something you need to learn by someone who knows what they are doing. By my "getting a cup of coffee" does no good to my daughter is she remains on a team for the next 5 years under a coach who has done absolutely nothing. The reason I "watch" my daughter practice has more to do with the quality of learning she is getting. There are swim clubs out there that if you let them will sock you an arm and a leg and take advantage of you if they can do it. My daughter has real talent and it's MY responsibility to make sure she has the SAME opportunity as the superstar kid down the road who grew up learning from a descent coach and not some fool.

Word again! Perhaps you should take ribbons won by a 9 year old with a grain of salt and stop counting them. Get her on a good team and hope she likes the sport. Kids don't always choose to do what they're best at or most suited for however. That is a supid comment. Why should she not be proud of them? She has them on her desk to remind her of all her hard work and the rewards that come with hard work. You make it sound like it is a crime to be rewarded. Perhaps swim clubs should not issue rewards out at all and just let them swim. Perhaps it is the swim clubs that are obsessed and not the parent? First off, you don't know me and you never have seen how I react when my daughter wins. I do not "count her ribbons" nor do I scream and shout praising her almighty name. I congradulate her efforts, tell her good job and that is it. The problem is exactly people like you who "assume" all parents are the same and all parents react in the same way. I obviously know something about swimming or she would have not improved as she did under my training. it would be different if I knew nothing of the sport and was just a casual fan like most parents.

I am really trying to figure out what you mean by "hovering". I mean, at every practice I am off to the sidelines, in the stands. It's not like I am standing over the edge of the pool. Also, for you information, on days when I decide I don't really want to attend her practice she asks me why not and wants me to go so go figure. The sad thing is this conversation has gotten away from the real topic and about me which I am sorry but you are way off base with that one. If I was the type of prent who stands by the pool talking to her during pactice and talking to her coach I could see your point but I not. You all like most people just assume that because a parent wants to be involved with their kids swimming they are nothing but disaster waiting to happen. THAT is false.

Don't worry about this. If she does have talent, that talent ain't going anywhere. At this point all she really needs to do is have fun and work on the fundamentals. She has the opportunity to learn bad habits as well as good ones right now. She won't lose anything if she doesn't push it hard now other than swimming faster right now. Down the road if she's ready to train hard the fact that she didn't train hard when she was nine is a non-issue. I think this is the most sensible post yet. :banana:

I stand by my universal truism statement. Hovering over your daughter (and the rest of her team incidentally) does absolutely nothing for her, her teammates, the coaching staff. Our team has 600+ kids, all with real talent, so does every other club in America. That doesn't give any single parent the right to ruin the experience for every other kid out there. Toxic parents can destroy a team. Maybe it's just hard for you to type what you are feeling but from the outside, this all looks like a big stew of disaster waiting to blow up. I agree. But you are never gonna change this guy's mind. He is convinced that he is helping his child, and he's not going to see it any other way, no matter what the outcome. This thread is totally depressing me. I can't help but feel glad that I didn't have this type of parent (YES, it IS a TYPE) as a young swimmer.

I didn't say she shouldn't enjoy her ribbons -- I said you shouldn't so much. I'm not making any assumption about your meet conduct either. But your defensiveness is suggestive. Successfully maximizing potential is a tricky endeavor ... That's why fun is paramount. Glad you know how to coach swimming. Now work on spelling! Firstly, having to defend to right to be an involved and caring parent I can't type fast enough so I am allowed spelling errors. Secondly, yes, put them under her bed. What the hell does that tell your kid. I would not be so cruel. And lastly, yes I am asking for advice but you have made this topic about ME rather than the original topic which I believe was something to the extent of "what makes a 9 year old kid so fast" Look at the topic title please.

I can't help but feel glad that I didn't have this type of parent (YES, it IS a TYPE) as a young swimmer. Youhave absolutely no idea what you are assuming. Simply throwing stones from what you read on a message board and not paying attention to anything that I have been posting. Amazing.

Glad you know how to coach swimming. Now work on spelling! I find his spelling descent

I think you are right on Kristen which is why I do not push my daugter to swim very many meets and burn out. Hell, she doesn't even compete during the summer. Sort of a break I guess. I agree with you that a 9 year old WANTS their pearents involved but in later years the are mature enough to do things on their own and don't need the parental support as much. For me to show no interest in a 9 year old girls love of swimming in my mind is horrible. I think you make very valid points.