My great friend, the charming ignoramus Leslie "the Fortess" Livingston, and I recently had the opportunity to bandy about a debate topic in the November issue of Swimmer magazine.
Leslie has asked me to create a poll to see which of us had the more persuasive arguments vis a vis the usefulness of weight lifting to behoove swimming performance.
I tried to talk Leslie out of such a poll, because I wasn't sure her delicate albeit manly temperament could take the likely beat down she would get, vote wise.
After all, her teenage daughter had already proclaimed, in uncertain terms, that she was best off pleading Nolo contendere here (see en.wikipedia.org/.../Nolo_contendere if your legal skills are as atrophied as Leslie's). In her daughter's own words, "He totally owned you, Mom! Like totally! It was so awesome! He's so totally funny, and you are so totally uptight, Mom! I mean, it was like so totally embarrassing how much he owned you! Please tell me I'm adopted! Please tell me Jim Thornton is my real mother!"
Unfortunately, this kind of advanced rhetorical argument on my part fell on deaf ears, just as my advanced rhetorical argument--in which actual studies were cited!--also fell on deaf ears. Evidently, the dear girl has overdone the neck thickening machine, and in the process, mastoid muscle processes seem to have overgrown her ear canals!
I know that not everyone has received their copy of Swimmer yet. Rumor has it that those of us who live in the higher class zip codes get the extra virgin pressed copies, with the rest of you having to wait to the ink starts getting stale.
You will get your copies one day, I assure you! Just as you will get your H1N1 swine flu vaccines dosages when me and my friends at Goldman have had our third inoculations!
But I am getting a bit off the track here.
If you've read our Inane Point (Leslie) - Brilliant Counterpoint (Jim) *** for tat debate, Leslie asks that you vote in this poll for the person you think was RHETORICALLY superior.
Note: this does not mean which of us was right.
Hell, I have already conceded Leslie was right, and have begun weight lifting myself thrice weekly!
I am one bulked up monstrosity of a girly man at this point, and I don't plan to stop till you can bounce quarters off my moobs.
So. Forget all aspects of actual rational correctness here, and certainly forget all aspects of who is more popular.
And vote with your pitiless inner rhetoritician calling the shots.
Leslie, I warned you: Nolo contendere was the smart plea. But no, you just wouldn't hear of it!
There was a famous psychology experiment done a number of years ago, the particulars of which are somewhat fuzzy in my mind.
But the gist of it was something like this:
The researchers provided twelve subjects with two squares. Objectively speaking, one of these was slightly but nevertheless demonstrably and provably larger than the other one. They then asked the twelve volunteers to discuss amongst themselves and vote on which one was bigger.
What one of the twelve volunteers did not know is that the other eleven were in on the scheme. They had previously been told by the researchers to maintain, calmly and rationally, that the smaller square was, in fact, larger than the big one.
When the discussion began, the "dupe" invariably thought that the others were all joking when they maintained the small square was larger than the bigger one. But over time, the dupe just as invariably came to agree with the others that they were right.
Follow-up interviews later revealed that the dupe, who had been persuaded to ignore the evidence of his or her own eyes, was not just pretending to go along with the herd to be sociable or to avoid conflict. He or she actually became convinced the small one was larger than the big one.
Group think, in other words, trumped rationality. The human tendency to fit in with our peers is so strong that it easily overwhelms our "intelligent" faculties.
I am sure most of you will have no trouble identifying this aspect of our species in a host of different realms, from religious and political nutcasedom, to the ability of aging swimmers to downplay the role of B70s in their racing performance.
As my poll figures continue to slip towards flat lining vis a vis my thoroughly rational suggestion that science has failed to validate weightlifting as a panacea for swimming performance, it occurs to me that this whole thread is nothing but one elaborate experiment!
Admit it! One of our swimming Ph.D. candidates, in search of a perfect thesis topic, has somehow managed to put the USMS membership up to this! Reveal yourself, rascal! I am now on to your fiendish tricks!
I may be the intended dupe, but I am no dupe!
And on this note, I shall continue with my own recently launched weight lifting regimen. But I have no illusions this will help my swimming, though I am cautiously optimistic it might behoove my pathetic pickle jar opening capabilities.
There was a famous psychology experiment done a number of years ago, the particulars of which are somewhat fuzzy in my mind.
But the gist of it was something like this:
The researchers provided twelve subjects with two squares. Objectively speaking, one of these was slightly but nevertheless demonstrably and provably larger than the other one. They then asked the twelve volunteers to discuss amongst themselves and vote on which one was bigger.
What one of the twelve volunteers did not know is that the other eleven were in on the scheme. They had previously been told by the researchers to maintain, calmly and rationally, that the smaller square was, in fact, larger than the big one.
When the discussion began, the "dupe" invariably thought that the others were all joking when they maintained the small square was larger than the bigger one. But over time, the dupe just as invariably came to agree with the others that they were right.
Follow-up interviews later revealed that the dupe, who had been persuaded to ignore the evidence of his or her own eyes, was not just pretending to go along with the herd to be sociable or to avoid conflict. He or she actually became convinced the small one was larger than the big one.
Group think, in other words, trumped rationality. The human tendency to fit in with our peers is so strong that it easily overwhelms our "intelligent" faculties.
I am sure most of you will have no trouble identifying this aspect of our species in a host of different realms, from religious and political nutcasedom, to the ability of aging swimmers to downplay the role of B70s in their racing performance.
As my poll figures continue to slip towards flat lining vis a vis my thoroughly rational suggestion that science has failed to validate weightlifting as a panacea for swimming performance, it occurs to me that this whole thread is nothing but one elaborate experiment!
Admit it! One of our swimming Ph.D. candidates, in search of a perfect thesis topic, has somehow managed to put the USMS membership up to this! Reveal yourself, rascal! I am now on to your fiendish tricks!
I may be the intended dupe, but I am no dupe!
And on this note, I shall continue with my own recently launched weight lifting regimen. But I have no illusions this will help my swimming, though I am cautiously optimistic it might behoove my pathetic pickle jar opening capabilities.
