My great friend, the charming ignoramus Leslie "the Fortess" Livingston, and I recently had the opportunity to bandy about a debate topic in the November issue of Swimmer magazine.
Leslie has asked me to create a poll to see which of us had the more persuasive arguments vis a vis the usefulness of weight lifting to behoove swimming performance.
I tried to talk Leslie out of such a poll, because I wasn't sure her delicate albeit manly temperament could take the likely beat down she would get, vote wise.
After all, her teenage daughter had already proclaimed, in uncertain terms, that she was best off pleading Nolo contendere here (see en.wikipedia.org/.../Nolo_contendere if your legal skills are as atrophied as Leslie's). In her daughter's own words, "He totally owned you, Mom! Like totally! It was so awesome! He's so totally funny, and you are so totally uptight, Mom! I mean, it was like so totally embarrassing how much he owned you! Please tell me I'm adopted! Please tell me Jim Thornton is my real mother!"
Unfortunately, this kind of advanced rhetorical argument on my part fell on deaf ears, just as my advanced rhetorical argument--in which actual studies were cited!--also fell on deaf ears. Evidently, the dear girl has overdone the neck thickening machine, and in the process, mastoid muscle processes seem to have overgrown her ear canals!
I know that not everyone has received their copy of Swimmer yet. Rumor has it that those of us who live in the higher class zip codes get the extra virgin pressed copies, with the rest of you having to wait to the ink starts getting stale.
You will get your copies one day, I assure you! Just as you will get your H1N1 swine flu vaccines dosages when me and my friends at Goldman have had our third inoculations!
But I am getting a bit off the track here.
If you've read our Inane Point (Leslie) - Brilliant Counterpoint (Jim) *** for tat debate, Leslie asks that you vote in this poll for the person you think was RHETORICALLY superior.
Note: this does not mean which of us was right.
Hell, I have already conceded Leslie was right, and have begun weight lifting myself thrice weekly!
I am one bulked up monstrosity of a girly man at this point, and I don't plan to stop till you can bounce quarters off my moobs.
So. Forget all aspects of actual rational correctness here, and certainly forget all aspects of who is more popular.
And vote with your pitiless inner rhetoritician calling the shots.
Leslie, I warned you: Nolo contendere was the smart plea. But no, you just wouldn't hear of it!
I am trying to remember when this happened with Leslie.
Surely you don't count the 25 breaststroke?
I will take my mulligan on that one.
Now Cremepuff, that's a different story. I will definitely do anything, anytime, and anywhere Mistress Kristina orders me to do, no matter how demeaning, in a strangely provocative way, this might prove to be for an abjectly groveling worm like me.
But I do not mean to hijack my own poll here that Leslie forced me to post.
Back to rhetoric!
I can't believe it!
Someone has set aside personal bias and conventional wisdom and the desire that lifting actually can let one exert control over ones swimming fate--despite all scientific evidence to the contrary!--and added a vote to the Jim column, doubling my tally!
In terms of the discussion, and all joking aside, I do think lifting is helpful in a multitude of ways, from the possibility of injury prevention to countering the age-related loss of muscle mass (sarcopenia of aging). Intuitively, it would seem that lifting would help masters swimming performance, especially in us longer in the tooth types.
But if there is ANY study anywhere in the literature that shows even a modest benefit to swimming speed or endurance through wt training, I would be thrilled to see the citation.
I invite one and all to post such a link.
Let the scavenger hunt through Google Scholar and Medline begin. (Note: I checked both as of several months ago, so if there's anything at all out there, it will have to be recent.)
Jim - you are starting to sound desperate.
Starting? I was born desperate and things have only gotten worse!
P.S. You forgot to add the attachment! You know, the actual study?
I am one bulked up monstrosity of a girly man at this point, and I don't plan to stop till you can bounce quarters off my moobs.
Aha! So you're NOT on the Costill 6 week strength training plan then? Where it's shocker that miracles don't occur in 6 weeks ...
I look forward to bouncing a quarter off your alleged perky moobs. You can definitely bounce one off my ass. It just so happens that I did a meathead ignoramus workout extraordinaire today (check blog). I suggest we do this one over Thanksgiving weekend, agreed?
You can cling to the lack of long term well controlled studies specifically on swimmers. In the meantime, I'll cling to my anecdotal evidence of improvement in the sprint events. :-P
Oh, and your idol, She Puff, declares herself a "manly man." lol
Rhetoric be hanged high. Lacking the screed in question, I'll judge a book by its covers. I see your moobs and keep my quarters pocketed.
Leslie! Leslie! She Puff!
:applaud:
Sorry, Jim, here's the study:
news.gotgame.com/.../kid-flipping-bird-300x219.jpg
Well, I do admire your spunk, I must say!
I thought America's general approach to science as epitomized by this picture went out of fashion with the last administration?
Okay, I will offer two shiny quarters suitable for moob bouncing to anyone, anywhere, who can find so much as one even quasi-peer reviewed study that indicates even a slight advantage in swimming times following any kind of dry land weight lifting whatsover, even a VASA trainer (though that's pushing it).
What's more, I shall allow Leslie herself to bounce these quarters off my moobs, then sign them each, and put them in plasticine envelopes suitable for numismatic archival!
Any takers?
Any at all?
Yeah, I thought so.
A bloody lot of muscle-headed weaklings, y'are!
