My great friend, the charming ignoramus Leslie "the Fortess" Livingston, and I recently had the opportunity to bandy about a debate topic in the November issue of Swimmer magazine.
Leslie has asked me to create a poll to see which of us had the more persuasive arguments vis a vis the usefulness of weight lifting to behoove swimming performance.
I tried to talk Leslie out of such a poll, because I wasn't sure her delicate albeit manly temperament could take the likely beat down she would get, vote wise.
After all, her teenage daughter had already proclaimed, in uncertain terms, that she was best off pleading Nolo contendere here (see en.wikipedia.org/.../Nolo_contendere if your legal skills are as atrophied as Leslie's). In her daughter's own words, "He totally owned you, Mom! Like totally! It was so awesome! He's so totally funny, and you are so totally uptight, Mom! I mean, it was like so totally embarrassing how much he owned you! Please tell me I'm adopted! Please tell me Jim Thornton is my real mother!"
Unfortunately, this kind of advanced rhetorical argument on my part fell on deaf ears, just as my advanced rhetorical argument--in which actual studies were cited!--also fell on deaf ears. Evidently, the dear girl has overdone the neck thickening machine, and in the process, mastoid muscle processes seem to have overgrown her ear canals!
I know that not everyone has received their copy of Swimmer yet. Rumor has it that those of us who live in the higher class zip codes get the extra virgin pressed copies, with the rest of you having to wait to the ink starts getting stale.
You will get your copies one day, I assure you! Just as you will get your H1N1 swine flu vaccines dosages when me and my friends at Goldman have had our third inoculations!
But I am getting a bit off the track here.
If you've read our Inane Point (Leslie) - Brilliant Counterpoint (Jim) *** for tat debate, Leslie asks that you vote in this poll for the person you think was RHETORICALLY superior.
Note: this does not mean which of us was right.
Hell, I have already conceded Leslie was right, and have begun weight lifting myself thrice weekly!
I am one bulked up monstrosity of a girly man at this point, and I don't plan to stop till you can bounce quarters off my moobs.
So. Forget all aspects of actual rational correctness here, and certainly forget all aspects of who is more popular.
And vote with your pitiless inner rhetoritician calling the shots.
Leslie, I warned you: Nolo contendere was the smart plea. But no, you just wouldn't hear of it!
You heard it here from an Olympic legend!
"Weight lifting makes your ass fat!"
Gary Sr.'s words, not mine!
One other note from our erstwhile swim babe, Kristina CremePuff Ulveling, who no longer has an account on the USMS forums (and hence probably knows nothing about my lesion and my endless vlogging about it. Note to self: make sure to keep it that way.)
Anyhow, here's what Kristina wrote me on Facebook about her personal experiences with weight lifting and swimming. She didn't give me explicit permission to post this, but since she's not a thread-meister anymore, she'll never know!
Jim--
Just as a side note on my personal experience -
Best swim season ever - almost zero weights/ dryland; swimming only
Now - I can do 4x10 pull ups easily and I do significant weights/ dryland (for me and compared to what I did before); less swimming; am cut to the extent that I am asked "do I power lift" or "are you a body builder" (yuck) and I am pretty damn slow in the pool now.:kiss1:
Love you with all my heart,
Kristina
(Okay, so I added the salutation and emoticon. It's not like it couldn't happen. Maybe when she meets me after I've been lifting for a while...Note to self #2: don't let her see my ass.)
You heard it here from an Olympic legend!
"Weight lifting makes your ass fat!"
Gary Sr.'s words, not mine!
One other note from our erstwhile swim babe, Kristina CremePuff Ulveling, who no longer has an account on the USMS forums (and hence probably knows nothing about my lesion and my endless vlogging about it. Note to self: make sure to keep it that way.)
Anyhow, here's what Kristina wrote me on Facebook about her personal experiences with weight lifting and swimming. She didn't give me explicit permission to post this, but since she's not a thread-meister anymore, she'll never know!
Jim--
Just as a side note on my personal experience -
Best swim season ever - almost zero weights/ dryland; swimming only
Now - I can do 4x10 pull ups easily and I do significant weights/ dryland (for me and compared to what I did before); less swimming; am cut to the extent that I am asked "do I power lift" or "are you a body builder" (yuck) and I am pretty damn slow in the pool now.:kiss1:
Love you with all my heart,
Kristina
(Okay, so I added the salutation and emoticon. It's not like it couldn't happen. Maybe when she meets me after I've been lifting for a while...Note to self #2: don't let her see my ass.)