Equipment Rep
Trains with every piece of equipment available at all times.
The Luddite
Trains with nothing. Only uses a loin cloth and goggles in workout.
The Barnacle
Leaves right on your feet. Couldn't count to five or ten if his life depnded on it.
The Coach
Not an actual coach, but someone who is consumed with technique. Swimming is a precise set of moves that can be broken down, categorized, and scientifically analyzed.
The Jaded
Could care less about technique. Just wants to swim and leave the analysis to the eggheads.
The Swimaholic
Trains at least 10 swimming workouts a week. Anything less is viewed as not trying.
Fast Guy who Never Trains
Shows up once a month and breaks national records in practice.
Hardest Working Man in the Swim Business
Trains like a ferocious animal in workout, but has no speed when it comes to racing.
Lane Guy
Works out in a lane that is far too fast or slow for him.
The Crack Guy
Dude, pull your swimsuit up or get a bigger size.
The Newbie
Shows up to practice in board shorts and a scuba mask.
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As for myself, I would fall into the categories of Luddite and Jaded. Also, I wrote this from a male perspective, but the women are included as well. Any other stereotypes?
The "Kicked My A** 20 years ago ... and still doing it"
This guy/gal is both the motivation and pain associated with being competitive ... beat you when you were a "real" competitive swimmer in your youth and continues to do so. This is the person that frustrates you, but drives you to come back for one more race year after year.
Pool Stud Turned Open Water Guy/Gal
Former serious age group/collegiate swimmer who trains like an animal and wins open water races left and right, but won't go near a pool competition to save his life.
Humbling Iron Tri Guy/Gal
The truly great Iron-person who beats "pure swimmers" in the open water swims ... and you know full well that swimming is their weak leg of the triathlon.:bow:
The Sweet Little Thing
Is always a female and of the type that the men on the team feel a need to help and protect. She is literally helpless when it comes to knowledge of swimming, intervals, or meets, or at least pretends she has no understanding of such things. If she is a good swimmer, then she is naive about matters outside of swimming. Helps to be under 5'3" and less than 115 pounds so as to not be intimidating in size to the male triathletes in practice. Some overlap with the Swimmer Barbie.
Aw sugar is someone not getting enough attention from the boys at swim practice?
;)
There is no competition in my age group because I'm so unbelievably old: This person regularly shows up to Arizona meets (quite uninvited) and never stops talking about all the records she has broken. She immediately runs over to the scoring table after a swim and states that was "just a national record and not a world record" so that fact can be announced. She will continue to talk even if you say "I am walking away now." I hope none of you run into this one as I promise you will put a bullet in your head to stop the drone.
I once heard this person say to her grandkids something to the effect that they could never expect to swim as fast as grandma. We need to institute this kind of innovative educational tactic in schools nationwide. Unfortunately, my wife usually winds up in the locker room at the same time as said swimmer.
Oh, can you please help me? I used to be the belle of the ball and I'm so upset that nobody pays attention to me anymore. All the flashy suits and long fingernails just don't seem to do it anymore. I just don't feel like a real woman anymore because the men aren't dropping at my feet asking what they can do for me. :cry:
Somehow I doubt much of that... :D
John Doe - Lap swimmer comes in, and swims for about an hour and leaves. Probably recognized by other regulars but doesn't really know anybody or speak to anyone except for a few guards that take the cash at the door to exchange a few polite words. Probably wants to join a team for support but isn't ready for the commitment or doesn't have the time avail yet. Characterized by boring sets and preferance to freestyle without flip turns because it's too embarrassing to practice it and make a scene. The invisible swimmer, used to swim in board shorts.
Very Polite Floating Debris
Perhaps 70 of age, seen frequently in the slow lane, crawls with one hand in the speed of a snail, back bended over, hardly moving! At the end of the lane, very politely asks if you want to go first. You politely say, no, go ahead please! There he goes, hopelessly, and you immediately regret letting him go first.
"They keep hitting me" Big Woman
250 pound woman whose body occupies 2/3 of the lane and who can't help but swimming in the middle of the lane, but because she's slower, it's always others who "hit her". Not the one to admit own fault, she calls out to the guard: "Sir! He keeps hitting me! Tell him to move to the other lane!"
