Equipment Rep
Trains with every piece of equipment available at all times.
The Luddite
Trains with nothing. Only uses a loin cloth and goggles in workout.
The Barnacle
Leaves right on your feet. Couldn't count to five or ten if his life depnded on it.
The Coach
Not an actual coach, but someone who is consumed with technique. Swimming is a precise set of moves that can be broken down, categorized, and scientifically analyzed.
The Jaded
Could care less about technique. Just wants to swim and leave the analysis to the eggheads.
The Swimaholic
Trains at least 10 swimming workouts a week. Anything less is viewed as not trying.
Fast Guy who Never Trains
Shows up once a month and breaks national records in practice.
Hardest Working Man in the Swim Business
Trains like a ferocious animal in workout, but has no speed when it comes to racing.
Lane Guy
Works out in a lane that is far too fast or slow for him.
The Crack Guy
Dude, pull your swimsuit up or get a bigger size.
The Newbie
Shows up to practice in board shorts and a scuba mask.
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As for myself, I would fall into the categories of Luddite and Jaded. Also, I wrote this from a male perspective, but the women are included as well. Any other stereotypes?
You politely say, no, go ahead please! There he goes, hopelessly, and you immediately regret letting him go first.
ha ha, awwww. And then you feel strangely guilty for regretting it.
Beer-enhanced middle-aged men who try and swim (and act) like they did when they were in High School, albeit unsuccessfully.
-or-
Silicone-enhanced women strutting around in a two-piece suit vying for the attention .
I'll take door number 2
Big Bertha
A female version of the Crack Guy whose ill-fitting suits will not cling where they need to leading to unsightly overexposure.
How will I see the wall now that i'm blind?
Sam, weren't you seen in compy's the last time you showed up at Cactus?
Guilty as charged. There are still NO better goggles on the market than Compys, 'nuff said!
I think Mr. Perry qualifies as an Old School Swimsuit Guy-PUP. C'mon Sam, confession is good for the soul.
BTW, where do you get those hideously ugly suits? The 70's were like three decades ago...
Then again, maybe you have been able to purchase new(er) looking apparel but I would not know. After all, you've been PUP for so long:bolt:
I thought you might be referring to me as the PUP until you started to say how fast they were, then I knew you weren't talking about me.
The suits? Man you don't know high fashion when you see it. It is all about the statement, especially when I am now getting my *** kicked regularly I need something to stand out.
The POSTMAN - the guy that shows up at workout every day and never says a word to anyone. He never smiles, never acknowledges anything. He usually goes right on your feet (sometimes with fins on). No one dare says a word to this guy for fear that he might go "postal" in the locker room and just open fire with the heat he has been secretly packing.
You might think I have totally made this up. I am not. We had a guy like this a few years ago and I swore he was the Unabomber.
The Charmer a.k.a. *Sigh...* a.k.a. That #%$(@#^&
Usually a guy who is a few years out of college, swam at college, still looks like Adonis in a Speedo, and is fast. The Charmer is usually hard to see because the women on the team surround him whenever he's not swimming. This goes for ALL the women - the younger ones want to marry him and the older ones are either in cougar-mode or trying to fix him up with a daughter. He often has a job like sales rep, so his BS ability borders on the superhuman. Alternately, he has a job in teaching at a pre-school, is "sensitive", loves kids, hopes someday to "meet the right girl and have a large family" and that makes the women melt in double-time. On top of that, he never has a full-time girlfriend or wife, the thought of which makes some of the women on the team unable to form a coherent sentence when he is in the room. He can lower most women's IQ's by 30 points with a smile. When he does finally marry, sales of anti-depressants skyrocket for miles around. Every other man on the team would kill him if they thought they could get away with it.
The Misguided
Turns up in a square cut speedo suit awith googles on and atop his head in an odd fashion. Built like some skinny large headed humanoid alien creature, The Misguided asks the lifeguard to assist in getting a busy pool to circle swim...seems a smart move. When the lifeguard asks what level The Misguided is compared to the old lady swimmers in this or that lane The Misguided is always faster than them. Upon final entry and locomotion through the water, it becomes painfully apparant how much slower The Misguided is...
Agressive Eggbeater
Stands on deck silently for 3 minutes, and before you know it, suddenly jumps in, crawls fiercely splashing water across the lanes and catches everyone's attention, yet by the time she reaches the other end, she is not any faster and used more stroke count than others to whom she meant to show off. She still appeared to be a winner because everyone was looking at her.
El Gordo (the fat guy)
The guy who uses 2-3 floaties in the deep end and scares the crap out of lifeguards. You can often hear them whispering to each other, "oh my god. I don't think I could get him out..."
