Equipment Rep
Trains with every piece of equipment available at all times.
The Luddite
Trains with nothing. Only uses a loin cloth and goggles in workout.
The Barnacle
Leaves right on your feet. Couldn't count to five or ten if his life depnded on it.
The Coach
Not an actual coach, but someone who is consumed with technique. Swimming is a precise set of moves that can be broken down, categorized, and scientifically analyzed.
The Jaded
Could care less about technique. Just wants to swim and leave the analysis to the eggheads.
The Swimaholic
Trains at least 10 swimming workouts a week. Anything less is viewed as not trying.
Fast Guy who Never Trains
Shows up once a month and breaks national records in practice.
Hardest Working Man in the Swim Business
Trains like a ferocious animal in workout, but has no speed when it comes to racing.
Lane Guy
Works out in a lane that is far too fast or slow for him.
The Crack Guy
Dude, pull your swimsuit up or get a bigger size.
The Newbie
Shows up to practice in board shorts and a scuba mask.
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As for myself, I would fall into the categories of Luddite and Jaded. Also, I wrote this from a male perspective, but the women are included as well. Any other stereotypes?
I'd like to buy a vowel.
I got a double word score and triple letter for the W. Now I've got enough points to put a hotel on Free Parking! :banana:
Or maybe buy a battle ostrich.
Oh man, I've been trying to find out USMS' official opinion on battle ostriches for years. Can you at least give me a hint?
Wasn’t this covered in the threads:
“What are the cars/bikes/cycles you drive?”
“Shave year-round?” – I believe the consensus was battle ostrich shaving could be hazardous and the slight improvement in speed doesn’t offset the Wookieish mess on the bathroom floor.
The Thread Hijacker – Posers who take perfectly inane threads and attempt to bend the discussion with the force of their minds.
The Grand Poobah – Someone who thinks he’s still the Great-Grand-Lord-High-Everything and deserves his own lane at practice, a no DQ card for meets and free reign in all things Masters.
:lmao:
Wasn’t this covered in the threads:
“What are the cars/bikes/cycles you drive?”
“Shave year-round?” – I believe the consensus was battle ostrich shaving could be hazardous and the slight improvement in speed doesn’t offset the Wookieish mess on the bathroom floor.
The Thread Hijacker – Posers who take perfectly inane threads and attempt to bend the discussion with the force of their minds.
The Grand Poobah – Someone who thinks he’s still the Great-Grand-Lord-High-Everything and deserves his own lane at practice, a no DQ card for meets and free reign in all things Masters.
What are the requirements for Grand Poobah.I am willing to upgrade my USMS membership to get my own lane and a no DQ card.Is that the equivalent of flying first class or is just more like a gold medal sponsor(platinum level sponsor maybe.)
What are the requirements for Grand Poobah.I am willing to upgrade my USMS membership to get my own lane and a no DQ card.Is that the equivalent of flying first class or is just more like a gold medal sponsor(platinum level sponsor maybe.)
The only requirement is not needing to ask what the requirements are.
Or maybe buy a battle ostrich. The opinions expressed in the above post are mine and not those of U.S. Masters Swimming. Oh man, I've been trying to find out USMS' official opinion on battle ostriches for years. Can you at least give me a hint?
Oh man, I've been trying to find out USMS' official opinion on battle ostriches for years. Can you at least give me a hint?Wasn’t this covered in the threads:
“What are the cars/bikes/cycles you drive?”
“Shave year-round?” – I believe the consensus was battle ostrich shaving could be hazardous and the slight improvement in speed doesn’t offset the Wookieish mess on the bathroom floor.
ih2.redbubble.net/.../sticker,375x360.png
The Thread Hijacker – Posers who take perfectly inane threads and attempt to bend the discussion with the force of their minds.
The Grand Poobah – Someone who thinks he’s still the Great-Grand-Lord-High-Everything and deserves his own lane at practice, a no DQ card for meets and free reign in all things Masters.
The Grand Poobah – Someone who thinks he’s still the Great-Grand-Lord-High-Everything and deserves his own lane at practice, a no DQ card for meets and free reign in all things Masters.
I've got a no DQ card (technically a Para-swimmer Classification Card, but same effect). Mine says I can swim one arm fly, get away with a not-quite-legal *** kick and a not-quite-simultaneous touch, all the things I got DQed for repeatedly as a teenager, because I can't physically swim fly or *** FINA legal.
Up Periscope !
1. Another middle lane frequenter but sometimes inslow lane
2. Male or female
3. Raises one foot vertically before slapping itdown with audible wallop
But it's fun.
MAM- aka middle agedman
1. Always a bald head or sharp crew cut
2. Frequents middle lane
3. Very impressive upper torso through years of gymand sport ( not swimming)
4. No shoulder flexibility because of 3
5. Flat wingspan and swinging swim style because of4,
6. Takes up most of lane because of 5
7. Very respectful of others because of 3, and never invades fast lane
Spotted four in a row thismorning in the middle lane, swinging one after the other
Up Periscope !
1. Another middle lane frequenter but sometimes inslow lane
2. Male or female
3. Raises one foot vertically before slapping itdown with audible wallop
