Swimming Stereotypes

The Conundrum IV - What she's doing looks like flutter kick to me. How, then, does she end up going backwards? She pushes off the wall or the bottom of the pool to get some forward momentum, then kicks and kicks (with a kickboard), slowing down until she eventually starts going in reverse and the cycle repeats. How? Actually... I don't want to know. I'll just keep kicking forwards! :banana: Very embarrassing and I too would like to know HOW, because that is EXACTLY what happens to me when I flutter kick! Breaststroke and fins are my best friends in the pool....:(

String Bikini Girl used to swim regularly at a pool I frequently swam in back in my home city. In the fast lane. Doing a very slow head-up *** stroke. Perhaps she was hoping to meet a handsome young triathlete by having him crash into her at speed. I actually saw Large Man In A (very) Tiny Speedo over Christmas break. He's not an urban myth after all. The large scuba fins that he was using perhaps compensated for the lack of fabric in the suit. :afraid:

The Nike (Goddess of Victory) – A female competitor, typically in her 40s, but sometimes slightly older or younger. She’s slender and muscular, with about 5% body fat. Cheerful and energetic, she’s typically done a half ironman the day before, and now she’s in your heat in the 200 or 1000 free. Used in a sentence, “I had a pretty good swim, but the Nike in lane 3 kicked my butt.” The Neptune (God of Water and Sea) – The male counterpart to the Nike, a big, outrageously fast, beefy guy in his 40s. He used to swim in college, probably NCAA Division I, or even on the Olympic team of some out of the way country. Can still swim a sub-two-minute 200 in three of the four strokes. Used in a sentence, “I’m very happy about my PB, but of course I got my butt kicked by Neptune over there.” The Thoosas and Tritons (Goddesses of Swift Currents and Fish-Tailed Sons of Poseidon) – Young competitors in their 20s or early 30s, frequently without a youth swimming background, but now transitioning into the pool. They are fit, trim, sleek, athletic, energetic, excited to be at the meet, and can drive their heart rates to numbers that are not on your speedometer. Used in a sentence, “Why was I in that heat with those children? The Thoosas and Tritons totally kicked my butt.” The Titan (Elder Gods who Ruled the Earth Before the Olympians) – Older competitors, male or female. Often but not always former Olympians, Trials or NCAA finalists, or with some other elite background, they frequently hold one or more national or world records, and hundreds of Top Ten times. They are friendly and accessible, and eager to share their wisdom and experience, either before or after they do the inevitable. Used in a sentence, “That guy gave up 16 years to me and still kicked my butt. He’s a real Titan.”

Well played Swimosaur! :applaud: I am making no attempt whatsoever to keep with your impressive theme :) The Tourist - DON'T MAKE ANY WAVES! You might get water in his snorkel! He's training for his trip to the Bahamas, which is only three years away! He has reservations for a one-hour snorkeling expedition to see fish and coral. He already has his snorkel and his prescription facemask. Don't wait until the 60 to start your next swim - if he gets the chance to start talking, he will rope you into his argument with himself about which brand of underwater digital camera is best. GO NOW!!! :bolt:

The Conundrum IV - What she's doing looks like flutter kick to me. How, then, does she end up going backwards? She pushes off the wall or the bottom of the pool to get some forward momentum, then kicks and kicks (with a kickboard), slowing down until she eventually starts going in reverse and the cycle repeats. How? Actually... I don't want to know. I'll just keep kicking forwards! :banana: The Conundrum V - There are plenty of ways to kick incorrectly in breaststroke, and they're often on display during lap swim time. I'm sure you're all familiar with Scissor-Kick Breaststroker and Flutter-Kick Breaststroker. And dolphin-kick breaststroke isn't a stereotype, it's a valid drill. But that's not all. At my gym, there are two practitioners of cross-legged breaststroke. Yes, it's actually possible, and yes, it's completely ridiculous to behold. One of the two is a very slow-swimming elderly man whose body position is never better than 45 degrees. With his cross-legged kick barely clearing the bottom of the pool, he sort of inchworms along. More interesting is the woman who swims real workouts with cross-legged breaststroke. Since her body position is nearly flat in the water, bringing her crossed legs up for the kick causes her to splash her own rear end, and then when she kicks her legs back out for propulsion, her feet and ankles go completely out of the water in an arc and create a splash that goes 8 feet behind her Every. Single. Time. Needless to say, cross-legged kick is not very propulsive, so DPS is very low and stroke counts are very high. The conundrum here is WHY, WHY, WHY, WOULD ANYONE SWIM LIKE THAT? :afraid: The Maestro - Watch out ladies! You'll swoon at his 200 IM repeats. Each one is a seven-minute symphony celebrating the water and his movement through it. He dives 2 feet down on each butterfly stroke so that he can breach the surface like a killer whale at the same time that his arms are spread like an albatross. His scissor-kick backstroke creates joyous waves that mere lanelines cannot contain. Similar to his fly, his breaststroke explores the depths of the pool as well as the entire width of the lane. And for the grand finale, don't miss his freestyle, which comes to a complete stop each time he elects to breathe. If you missed his last performance or arrived in the middle of it, don't worry, the next show starts soon. :cheerleader:

Chicken Teriyaki JR. An asian fella that uses the pool where I train and refuses to wear goggles. No lane lines are available, so he often drifts astray blindly, ramming head-on directly into swimmers. Although he uses the freestyle technique, he calls it a his "modified butterfry stroke". He was named after Chicken Teriyaki SR. - the only known surviving kamikaze pilot.

I love reading these things! I need more! :applaud:

I love reading these things! I need more! :applaud: Mute Button - stands behind the blocks waiting for his or her heat. Stares at the pool, or down at the block, 100% focused on the task at hand, with the outside world completely blocked out. Does not hear the long whistle indicating that it's time to get on the blocks. Does not hear the starter or referee's instruction. Is alarmed when one of the timers delivers a tap on the shoulder and asks "hey are you in this race?" Jumps up on the block with a sheepish "sorry guys..." (I admit it, I have been Mr. Mute Button before :blush:)

Dr. Glorydaise- A recent comeback to the sport who eshews any training techniques developed after the 1980s. They did well in their youth so, really, how can you improve upon techniques implemented at that time? Hard work (usually devoid of swimming toys) trumps all and times from youth are naturally within their reach in the near future. The glory days-fueled ambition usually abates after the first or second competitive event, and the good doctor's diagnosis subsequently transcends into a Ladies Man or Voyeur variant.

Dr. Glorydaise- A recent comeback to the sport who eshews any training techniques developed after the 1980s. They did well in their youth so, really, how can you improve upon techniques implemented at that time? Hard work (usually devoid of swimming toys) trumps all and times from youth are naturally within their reach in the near future. The glory days-fueled ambition usually abates after the first or second competitive event, and the good doctor's diagnosis subsequently transcends into a Ladies Man or Voyeur variant. I thought this person was known as The Charmer. Fort, can we get a ruling here?