Equipment Rep
Trains with every piece of equipment available at all times.
The Luddite
Trains with nothing. Only uses a loin cloth and goggles in workout.
The Barnacle
Leaves right on your feet. Couldn't count to five or ten if his life depnded on it.
The Coach
Not an actual coach, but someone who is consumed with technique. Swimming is a precise set of moves that can be broken down, categorized, and scientifically analyzed.
The Jaded
Could care less about technique. Just wants to swim and leave the analysis to the eggheads.
The Swimaholic
Trains at least 10 swimming workouts a week. Anything less is viewed as not trying.
Fast Guy who Never Trains
Shows up once a month and breaks national records in practice.
Hardest Working Man in the Swim Business
Trains like a ferocious animal in workout, but has no speed when it comes to racing.
Lane Guy
Works out in a lane that is far too fast or slow for him.
The Crack Guy
Dude, pull your swimsuit up or get a bigger size.
The Newbie
Shows up to practice in board shorts and a scuba mask.
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As for myself, I would fall into the categories of Luddite and Jaded. Also, I wrote this from a male perspective, but the women are included as well. Any other stereotypes?
The Nike (Goddess of Victory) – A female competitor, typically in her 40s, but sometimes slightly older or younger. She’s slender and muscular, with about 5% body fat. Cheerful and energetic, she’s typically done a half ironman the day before, and now she’s in your heat in the 200 or 1000 free. Used in a sentence, “I had a pretty good swim, but the Nike in lane 3 kicked my butt.”
The Neptune (God of Water and Sea) – The male counterpart to the Nike, a big, outrageously fast, beefy guy in his 40s. He used to swim in college, probably NCAA Division I, or even on the Olympic team of some out of the way country. Can still swim a sub-two-minute 200 in three of the four strokes. Used in a sentence, “I’m very happy about my PB, but of course I got my butt kicked by Neptune over there.”
The Thoosas and Tritons (Goddesses of Swift Currents and Fish-Tailed Sons of Poseidon) – Young competitors in their 20s or early 30s, frequently without a youth swimming background, but now transitioning into the pool. They are fit, trim, sleek, athletic, energetic, excited to be at the meet, and can drive their heart rates to numbers that are not on your speedometer. Used in a sentence, “Why was I in that heat with those children? The Thoosas and Tritons totally kicked my butt.”
The Titan (Elder Gods who Ruled the Earth Before the Olympians) – Older competitors, male or female. Often but not always former Olympians, Trials or NCAA finalists, or with some other elite background, they frequently hold one or more national or world records, and hundreds of Top Ten times. They are friendly and accessible, and eager to share their wisdom and experience, either before or after they do the inevitable. Used in a sentence, “That guy gave up 16 years to me and still kicked my butt. He’s a real Titan.”
The Nike (Goddess of Victory) – A female competitor, typically in her 40s, but sometimes slightly older or younger. She’s slender and muscular, with about 5% body fat. Cheerful and energetic, she’s typically done a half ironman the day before, and now she’s in your heat in the 200 or 1000 free. Used in a sentence, “I had a pretty good swim, but the Nike in lane 3 kicked my butt.”
The Neptune (God of Water and Sea) – The male counterpart to the Nike, a big, outrageously fast, beefy guy in his 40s. He used to swim in college, probably NCAA Division I, or even on the Olympic team of some out of the way country. Can still swim a sub-two-minute 200 in three of the four strokes. Used in a sentence, “I’m very happy about my PB, but of course I got my butt kicked by Neptune over there.”
The Thoosas and Tritons (Goddesses of Swift Currents and Fish-Tailed Sons of Poseidon) – Young competitors in their 20s or early 30s, frequently without a youth swimming background, but now transitioning into the pool. They are fit, trim, sleek, athletic, energetic, excited to be at the meet, and can drive their heart rates to numbers that are not on your speedometer. Used in a sentence, “Why was I in that heat with those children? The Thoosas and Tritons totally kicked my butt.”
The Titan (Elder Gods who Ruled the Earth Before the Olympians) – Older competitors, male or female. Often but not always former Olympians, Trials or NCAA finalists, or with some other elite background, they frequently hold one or more national or world records, and hundreds of Top Ten times. They are friendly and accessible, and eager to share their wisdom and experience, either before or after they do the inevitable. Used in a sentence, “That guy gave up 16 years to me and still kicked my butt. He’s a real Titan.”
