Swimming Stereotypes

Cheapy Cheaperton-This is a swimmer who thinks that the USMS membership yearly fee is astronomial and that is why they don't want to sign up for their USMS card. I don't think that it is that crazy to spend. You are eligible for ten top times, discounts on rental cars, and subscription to Swimmer Magazine, etc. I guess that since I am getting my USA-Swimming membership, I am spending like a Rockerfeller with these Swimming membership cards. The Complete Metamorphosis -This is a swimmer who has been out of the water for about 3 months but is able swim with the fastest group in no time(maybe with a few days to the week). I guess that this had to do with doing other forms of exercise when he/she is not swimming or just amazing ability.

Bob Noodleman - A seemingly sane man, about 35-40 years old, Bob pays for a gym membership so he can spend 20-30 minutes a day with a noodle in the therapy/kiddie pool with the jets on going round and round in the same direction as the current. (Going against the current for that long would constitute a workout.) I even saw a Bob-in-training recently: a man in his early-to-mid-thirties selected a noodle from the bin and then (much to my amazement) sat with it in the hot tub! If he applies himself and really focuses on that noodle, in a few years he'll be ready to circle around the kiddie pool like Bob.

Yesterday a CIR (Clueless Inconsiderate Resolutionary) jumped in on MY weight machine during MY turn (mine, mine, mine!) and immediately began watching TV. Yours truly was so mad (and that is rare indeed!) that I went over to the pull up bar and by some miracle did 4 unassisted pull ups, walked back with arm akimbo (learned that word from the community radio's word of the day). CIR was still watching TV. Michelle Chow, angry? I did not know such a thing was possible... Must have been bad fo sho. CIR, that is a good one indeed and a common occurrence this time of year.

The Resolutionary/Resolutionaries (a term I found on another discussion forum) Swimmer(s) or other people who workout who show up in early January and/or beginning of a particular season/semester, or other major event. They generally last 2-3 weeks, then again fade away. I certainly noticed this at my gym. Last week, heck even on Sunday, I had my choice of 25+ treadmills. Monday I had a choice of....1 or 2. For the past few weeks we've had 2-3 swimmers per lane (sometimes only had 4-5 lanes). Suddenly today we had 5 per lane (with 8 lanes)...I'm sure even more once college is back in session. Excellent! Remissionary/Remissionaries - the term for the above the other 9ish months of the year. Although not a sterotype, Resolutionary Resentment - the term for the feeling you get when encroached upon by Resolutionaries. Usually accompanied by feelings of annoyance to territorialism. (IE, hey! That's MY parking space, MY favorite locker, mine, mine, mine!) Yesterday a CIR (Clueless Inconsiderate Resolutionary) jumped in on MY weight machine during MY turn (mine, mine, mine!) and immediately began watching TV. Yours truly was so mad (and that is rare indeed!) that I went over to the pull up bar and by some miracle did 4 unassisted pull ups, walked back with arm akimbo (learned that word from the community radio's word of the day). CIR was still watching TV.

One Year Wonder-Shows up at meets once every 5 yr when he/she ages up.Never seen the next 4 yr.

Toys R Us Woman - She has every toy there is and uses most of them at the same time while plodding through endless splash-free laps: fins and pull buoy, waterproof mp3 player, headphones, cap, goggles, nose clips.... hey if it took me 4 minutes to swim 100 yards, I'd probably need entertainment too. I'm in awe; the bar has been raised. I haven't seen the original TRUW in quite a while, but now there's a new sheriff in town. At first I couldn't figure out why someone would wear a full-length Blue Seventy to practice in, especially someone so slow (she swam in the 3-5 minutes per 100 yards range, and wasn't elderly or disabled). Then I noticed the headphones (and the mp3 player clipped to the back of the B70) and it all clicked. OF COURSE the successor to the TRUW throne wears a technical suit at all times! Anything less would be uncivilized!

Yeah, but I bet it knocked that 3:00 hundred down to 2:58....or about a song per 100.:bump::bump: I'm in awe; the bar has been raised. I haven't seen the original TRUW in quite a while, but now there's a new sheriff in town. At first I couldn't figure out why someone would wear a full-length Blue Seventy to practice in, especially someone so slow (she swam in the 3-5 minutes per 100 yards range, and wasn't elderly or disabled). Then I noticed the headphones (and the mp3 player clipped to the back of the B70) and it all clicked. OF COURSE the successor to the TRUW throne wears a technical suit at all times! Anything less would be uncivilized!

Just use his name, Mike! I don't know how to spell Glenn.

Oh, and they use fins for the entire workout, sometimes only using one fin to show that they can keep up, I guess. One fin?! Seems like that would really mess up your stroke.

I enjoy those with "god like complex" They seem to know everything about swimming, how people should swim, how people should train and if they are questioned or a person dares swim strokes in a way that are opposing to their thinking, then that swimmer is wrong and isn't considered a good swimmer. You will find this type of person at most pools that are busy with teams, lap swimmers, noodlers, etc. This person will gladly tell you what it thinks and if you disagree with dismiss you as uneducated on the sport of swimming. What is scary is when you run into one that acts this way and really doesn't know that much about swimming. Also, I've come across a few triathletes that have looked down their noses at me when they asked my opinion and I suggested they try doing sets of 100s instead of straight swims of 1,000 yards.