Equipment Rep
Trains with every piece of equipment available at all times.
The Luddite
Trains with nothing. Only uses a loin cloth and goggles in workout.
The Barnacle
Leaves right on your feet. Couldn't count to five or ten if his life depnded on it.
The Coach
Not an actual coach, but someone who is consumed with technique. Swimming is a precise set of moves that can be broken down, categorized, and scientifically analyzed.
The Jaded
Could care less about technique. Just wants to swim and leave the analysis to the eggheads.
The Swimaholic
Trains at least 10 swimming workouts a week. Anything less is viewed as not trying.
Fast Guy who Never Trains
Shows up once a month and breaks national records in practice.
Hardest Working Man in the Swim Business
Trains like a ferocious animal in workout, but has no speed when it comes to racing.
Lane Guy
Works out in a lane that is far too fast or slow for him.
The Crack Guy
Dude, pull your swimsuit up or get a bigger size.
The Newbie
Shows up to practice in board shorts and a scuba mask.
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As for myself, I would fall into the categories of Luddite and Jaded. Also, I wrote this from a male perspective, but the women are included as well. Any other stereotypes?
Did we cover the New Year's Resolution Lap Swimmer who shows up in team USA jammers, scuba fins and diving mask and then wants to race.
:drown:
That's almost me...
What about Swimmer Ken who spends the entire warm-up on deck flexing his muscles, showing off his tan, and pretending to talk to the coach while everyone else swims?
I didn't know that about Popov.
I remember reading that in an article a few years back, describing a day in the life of.............. The article also mentioned his coach Touretzky and what made me remember this article is that it described Popov as a chain smoker.
However, I've been searching Google but am unable to find that specific reference.
Don't know if it's a stereotype.... the guy who insists, for purposes of the "swim golf" game, that his par is 14.85 strokes per length (and isn't joking).
The Late Bloomer would demand your scientific evidence for anything you espouse, then ignore it as he attacked anything steroetypical about your national origin. Plus, he would lament the ignoring of the magificent history of late blooming featuring the only genuine example that should have been featured in the USMS magazine.
The Late Bloomer
A fevered and frequent competitor, TLB continually rationalizes slow performances by citing dense, impenetrable research on VO2 Max and other incomprehensible alleged measures of athletic capacity. TLB references ad nauseum the fact that TLB did not swim age group, thereby missing out on the prime VO2 Max building years. TLB will only compare TLB's performances to those of other, similarly situated TLBs (down to country of origin, educational background, current economic status, and year of immigration to this country) thereby ensuring TLB's victory in TLB's narrowly self-defined peer group. Will debate these points endlessly, vociferously, and mindlessly on various fora until forced to leave.
Note: May be somehow related to The Elevator Repairman, see above.
What, you mean this sounded vaguely familiar?
Disclaimer: The Late Bloomer is a work of fiction, sprung fully formed from my fevered, alliterative brow. Any resemblance, real or imagined, to any person or personage, living or dead, sentient or semi-comatose, including, but not limited to He Who Must Never Be Mentioned, is entirely, completely, or at least sorta unintentional.
The Resolutionary/Resolutionaries (a term I found on another discussion forum)
Swimmer(s) or other people who workout who show up in early January and/or beginning of a particular season/semester, or other major event. They generally last 2-3 weeks, then again fade away.
I certainly noticed this at my gym. Last week, heck even on Sunday, I had my choice of 25+ treadmills. Monday I had a choice of....1 or 2. For the past few weeks we've had 2-3 swimmers per lane (sometimes only had 4-5 lanes). Suddenly today we had 5 per lane (with 8 lanes)...I'm sure even more once college is back in session.
Then there's the real Luddite. Back some time last millenium I was in graduate school at a university that only admitted male undergraduates. Suits of any kind were discouraged in the practice pool (50 meters, in the sub-basement of the gym). If actual swim goggles existed, as opposed to dive masks, I had never seen any.
Graduate students could opt for the exhibition pool, where suits were required. This had both windows and women.:)
