You would pay $45 to enter the meet and find out that the swimmer in the next lane paid $27.50.
You heat would be delayed for 3 hours and you could not go the bathroom. Whereas the event scheduled behind you would have already finished.
TSA (thousands standing around) would search all the swimmers prior to gaining entry to the pool deck. Some lucky winners (90-94 y) would be pulled off for special full body searches.
The shady spots on the pool deck are more expensive.
There is surcharge for using the newest speed suit (!$#@).
The start would begin at the other end of the pool. You'd have to run down the deck, make a sharp turn into your lane and take off from the blocks.
No, this isn't quite accurate. Your entire heat would line up, single file, at one end of the pool. Then you'd slowly walk to the starting end where everyone would start from the same block, but you'd have to wait a while until the swimmer ahead of you was a ways down the pool.
Sort of like the sprint lane during warmups, I guess! :)
Of course, if you got to your event early and there was space available in an earlier event, you could swim that one instead (unless your swim meet is called Southwest).
Of course, you'd be charged extra to swim standby.
Really, it would go like this:
There would be 5 heats scheduled with 50 swimmers entered, overbooking each heat by two swimmers. Two heats would be canceled. The rest would be delayed by ATC (Aqua Traffic Control). They would be scheduled for three hours later, but you couldn't leave the blocks because any race could start at any time, and if you aren't there, you'd lose your spot.
Oh and the people swimming standby would be ranked by the number of races they have swum in.
(BTW, my wife is flying to Chicago tonight. The flight is delayed two hours.)
They would squeeze you three to a lane, with you in the middle and the two guys you would be between would be massive enough to have a noticable gravitational field.
-LBJ
As you're about to start, a voice comes over the p.a. system informing you that you can find a flotational device under your starting block "...in the event of a water landing.." :confused:
(To conform with FINA rules, it won't actually float.)
Some of my towels and suits might be declared biohazards and confiscated.
No negative verbal imagery about pain, suffering, sudden flaming painful death, burning out, blowing chunks, gakking up a lung, or wishing you'd been on the exit row.
The Steinway provided by my frequent sponsor would not be carry-on.
DV
You earn "frequent flyer strokes" to use toward entry at a later meet only to be told later that the meet is across the country and you can only use it to enter the 200 fly - which is not your event.
There would be different levels of entry fees (for the same event) that define restrictions:
For example:
100 LCM (any stroke)
If you pay $50, you can do a flip turn; $40 will let you do an open turn.
If you only pay $25, there's a minimum stay (pause) at the wall of 5".
If you pay the cheapest entry fee ($0.25. Hey! You wanted the best deal!) your minimum stay at the turn is 15"
And if you want to change your options (events), after the warm-up has commenced, the change penalty could be anywhere from 1/10th to 3 x your entry fee.
Your only allowed to swim with one bag, and you have to because you cant leave it anywhere or else they will evacuate the building and blow up your stash of swim gear. and some venues will allow you to swim with your bag and possibly a laptop or camera.
