My demented editor (I know he doesn't swim, but I can only hope he isn't a closet masters swim forum lurker) has recently proposed sending me to Afghanistan, which I can't even spell, in order to do a story not on the resurgent Taliban or even the ups and downs of the opium trade, but rather on the enduring popularity of male body building in that ruined country. Supposedly, despite all the troubles over there, muscle gyms abound in Kabul--testimony, in my editor's eyes, at least, to the ineradicability of male vanity.
Why he wants me to write about this is a more complicated story, but I replied that I thought his essential premise was flawed--that men don't body build out of vanity/desire to impress the distaff gender; they do it (in my opinion--must check with evolutionary psychologists for verification; the attached poll is a way of gauging feminine sentiment regarding hypermuscularity) to keep other guys from beating them up. The largest per capita rate of male body building in the US goes is in prisons in states where the respective state legislatures have not banned barbells (hoping to prevent super criminals from being released en masse upon the flabby public when their sentences are over.) My editor was undeterred by my theories and objections--he still wants me to go.
For a variety of reasons, including a probable State Department ban on tourism to countries we're at war with (again, more research needed), I doubt I will actually be going to Afghanistan. But in the remote case I do go, does anyone know places to swim over there?
If I am to be the first "journalist" beheaded during the Global War on Terror, not for investigating this, to be sure, but while reporting on muscle gyms, I would like to at least be able to get some final relaxing laps in before losing my head.
PS if anyone is interested in coming along as a personal masseuse on this junket, let me know your measurements for the prerequisite burka (I think Amanda Beard might model these on the Speedo web site, but I'm not sure.) I'm thinking a good neck rub might serve to relax the cervical muscles, eliminating any knots that might otherwise impede the scimitar's progress, making my moment of dispatch as speedy and pleasant as possible
In this way, I--and not my demented editor--will get the last, albeit very short-lived, laugh!
Former Member
Thanks, but no thanks. I stand by my comments as well as the way I presented them.
Wellm the if Jim does edit, YOU have locked in the unpleasant subject matter for any one browsing who may have otherwise missed it. That's my only point Matt. You're entitled to be offended by what he wrote. I'm just trying to protect the feelnigs of someone who could read it--even as a "quote."
Jim doesn't need me to back him up.
I agree--extremely poor taste.
And Daniel Pearl really was a journalist.
I find this to be in extremely poor taste and quite unnecessary.
Wow I missed that dig? Damn, that's some bedside manner eh?
Lookie-lookie who re-ignites the fight here after the "standard lowering" among us mulled it over...conceded your POV and have been orderly.
*tsk-tsk*
"Do no harm"...doesn apply to mental health then?
You guys crack me up.
I find this to be in extremely poor taste and quite unnecessary.
Report me to a moderator.
Mohammed: I beheaded journalist
By Michael Melia
The Associated Press
Suspected 9-11 mastermind Khalid Sheikh Mohammed boasted at a military hearing at Guantanamo Bay, Cuba, that he personally beheaded American journalist Daniel Pearl, according to a revised Pentagon transcript released Thursday..."I decapitated with my blessed right hand the head of the American Jew, Daniel Pearl, in the city of Karachi, Pakistan," Mohammed told a U.S. military panel Saturday. "For those who would like to confirm, there are pictures of me on the Internet holding his head."
www.magnumphotos.com/.../c.aspx
This book explores the vanity of the afgan male. Keep in mind that these photos were illegal under the rule of the taliban.
glad to see the tag-teams back in action.
I'd prefer to call it ironic that you are doing the exact thing that you tell Gull and Scyfreestyler not to do. I have yet to find the whole offending topic to be comedic.
What is comedic is that anyone would think that a story on Afghanistan's body building culture would be of interest to anyone.
Hey Pious-Pete.
Take down your avatar of a "challenged" person. I find it offesive that you use the word "geek" in your name and put that picture up. So implying he is a geek.
Do you actually know what a "geek" is without looking it up.
You and Gull are like public buses...don't see one for hours then you all come past splashing muddy puddles over innocent bystanders. You harm the community as much as any other--those you've villified for it have been very accomodating and better behaved.
FYI my analogy is nothing to do with the offending topic (btw which you just locked in too /hi5). More a description of tackling a problem with sublety. I just don't dig bullies. It's why I spoke up.
I didn't think(edited) the unpleasant material was so funny either, but you're all obviously sitting with with your Red-Rider Rifles waiting for something to snipe at...
...just remember Ralphie, "You'll shoot your eye out!"
I'm going to rephrase my comment as it has been tainted by your twisted analysis...up to you how you go.
With that said, I DO believe that we could win over there if the arm chair quarterbacks and Congress would stay the H$%& out of it. This not a conventional war - 911 proved that. The Iraqi's didn't trust us in the beginning because of the first Gulf War. Clinton and the whole world stood up and said Sadam had WMDs. By the way, they DID find stuff there contrary to what is reported in the majority of the press.
Hold on a sec. Wasn't this thread about Afghanistan?
With that said, I DO believe that we could win over there if the arm chair quarterbacks and Congress would stay the H$%& out of it. This not a conventional war - 911 proved that. The Iraqi's didn't trust us in the beginning because of the first Gulf War. Clinton and the whole world stood up and said Sadam had WMDs. By the way, they DID find stuff there contrary to what is reported in the majority of the press.
QUOTE]
well, since geeks request to keep such posts out of this forum have been ignored, i'll add my :2cents:
the job of congress is to balance the other two branches of govt.
the iraqis don't trust us because nobody trusts us anymore (why is that?)
btw, the iraqis don't trust other iraqis either and why should they. a suni minority held power for years (by the gun) and now they're being offered "democracy" at gunpoint.
people are willing to blow themselves up to wreak havok on society (who is responsible for stirring such passions)......................not as bad as who is reporting?
David, I am not here trying to start anything, but one question to you.....
Have you been there and seen any of this first hand? Or are you going by what you have read?
And by the way, the job of Congress was to approve or disapprove. They approved....now let the CIC and the CCs on the ground fight the war.
With that, if you want to continue this debate, please email me so we can keep it off of here.
O Caped One. You must pay attention; episodic attendance just won't do. Every so often our weird extended 'family' turns on their own. Not for humour, not for enlightenment, but for bloodshed. That style will not carry the day, eternal night would prevail; we strive to maintain a balance, largely we have succeeded- many threads have prospered: both narrowly swimming oriented and wildly external. This is a test for you: will you seek to destroy what we have built back from near annihilation, or will you contribute to the oddly attractive forums that now stand?
Piffle and twaddle.
Now I'm off to the workout section. Proceed as usual. Oddballs are good.
