I've been reading with increasing interest the thread on overbearing swim parents. I am familiar with this situation having been a Little League umpire at one point in time ... my proudest moment was stopping the game to eject parents!!
However ... I remarried some time ago, and 9 months after our honeymoon, my lovely wife gave birth to a son. He's now 7.5 years old and almost daily makes me consider this athletic dilemma. (One of the great parts of being a 56-year old, stay-at-home Dad & small business owner is "they" get to deal with me, not a "soccer MOM"!!)
Ryan, our son, show some pretty good athletic talent. At age 4, he started Karate and went through the belts quickly. When we joined the Y so I could swim, he transitioned away from karate to judo and is also doing well at that. Last winter, we took him skiing and he took to it quickly and enthusiastically. In all of this, Mom and I do very little "pushing" ... but do give him a lot of encouragement and opportunity.
This past summer, he asked if he could learn to swim. We enrolled him as a beginner and he made good progress. Very good progress, actually, as he's pretty adept at crawl, backstroke, and he's even started playing at butterfly. He's asked if he could join the Y's swim team. Their basic criteria is to do 50 yards of crawl without stopping, and have a rudimentary knowledge of the other strokes. Over the past two weeks, he has been working himself hard and he can meet the basic criteria and is now exceeding it.
For example, today, while I was swimming in lane 2, he and his mother shared lane 1. He did 2x50 free without fins, 4x50 free with fins, a 400 backstroke with fins (could not believe it ... he just kept going, and going, and going ...!!), and several 1x25 "butterfly". He hasn't mastered breaststroke yet. But, clearly, he is ready to join the team in the near future.
Here's our main dilemma. He seems to have all of the physical attributes of a gifted young athlete. He catches on quickly and seems willing to work. We're not sure about his mental attitude, but he seems to be competitive and likes to win (if I spot him about 5 yards, he can keep up with me when he wears fins. Today we raced three times, and he beat me one out of three ... much to his joy.) By the way, he does well in school and his teacher says he's in the top 20% of his class ... so no worries there either.
I'd obviously like to have him join the swim team (I was about that age when I first joined) and he's probably ready. But, we don't want to be THOSE kind of parents ... yet we want him to succeed ... maybe even excel.
Any ideas?
Cheers!!
Ken
Parents
Former Member
My kids do not swim. I have never pushed them to try it. They have more fun splashing with dad in the pool and going down the slide with me. However,Im sure all these ideas can be applied to other sports kids do. My 8 yr son is a good athlete in baseball, basketball and football. What I do is sit away from the team parents at games and practices. I see to many parents questioning coaches doing certain things and parents yelling out at kids. So, though I may seem unsociable to them I let the coaches coach and let my kids enjoy the sports they are doing. I have never yelled out at them during a game or a practice. I just let them know I am there supporting them and give them a thumbs up in practice and in games.
After practice or games that is when I talk to my son about what they learned or how they played. I let him tell me what was good and what was bad.
My 11 year daughter is a talented ice skater, so at least there I do not have to deal with the yelling parents. I just can not stand the rumor mill or complaints some parents have. I feel if they have an issue then it should be addressed to the coach or whom ever, but do not become crazed in front of your kids who are there to have fun.
To many parents are trying to relive their athletic past thru their children. It is just a game, or just a race, and certainly not the end of the world if they loose a game or race, but unfortunately to some it is.
It's all about the child having fun and sometimes that gets lost with the parent, then the child stops or quits or grows to hate the sport.
greg
My kids do not swim. I have never pushed them to try it. They have more fun splashing with dad in the pool and going down the slide with me. However,Im sure all these ideas can be applied to other sports kids do. My 8 yr son is a good athlete in baseball, basketball and football. What I do is sit away from the team parents at games and practices. I see to many parents questioning coaches doing certain things and parents yelling out at kids. So, though I may seem unsociable to them I let the coaches coach and let my kids enjoy the sports they are doing. I have never yelled out at them during a game or a practice. I just let them know I am there supporting them and give them a thumbs up in practice and in games.
After practice or games that is when I talk to my son about what they learned or how they played. I let him tell me what was good and what was bad.
My 11 year daughter is a talented ice skater, so at least there I do not have to deal with the yelling parents. I just can not stand the rumor mill or complaints some parents have. I feel if they have an issue then it should be addressed to the coach or whom ever, but do not become crazed in front of your kids who are there to have fun.
To many parents are trying to relive their athletic past thru their children. It is just a game, or just a race, and certainly not the end of the world if they loose a game or race, but unfortunately to some it is.
It's all about the child having fun and sometimes that gets lost with the parent, then the child stops or quits or grows to hate the sport.
greg
