This was in today's "Dear Abby" column in the paper:
DEAR ABBY: I am a 55-year-old female who competes in triathlons for fun, fitness and health. I consulted my doctor because I was having foot pain. When I told him I was a runner and was preparing for a marathon race, his response was, "At your age, you could hardly call it a race."
I was shocked. I repeated the insulting comment to my husband, who has never supported me in this nor attended my races. He replied, "Well, you don't actually consider yourself an athlete, do you?"
I am so offended that I want to dismiss both my doctor and my husband. I just finished a race with 5,000 women. Every one of them was fabulous and serious, no matter how old or what they looked like. It was the spirit of the sport that mattered. At what age does one stop being an athlete? -- OLDER ATHLETE, EUGENE, ORE.
This raised some interesting questions in my mind about support, encouragement, or the lack thereof. I don't want to discuss the "athlete-yes-or-no" question. Instead, I'd like to know how people out there deal with non-supportive spouses, friends, co-workers, doctors, etc.
My own experience includes being teased by my co-workers for "getting beat by a 70-year-old woman." (This was after a big meet where they viewed my results on the Internet.) This came from men who are at least 50 pounds overweight and can barely walk from their cars to their desks.
Former Member
Jayhawk,
I feel you, girl! I grew up swimming, loved it, and continued to be competitive in it even after my knee surgery my junior year of high school. Swimming was my life, and everyone who was involved in my life knew how hard it was, and how much I worked to be as good as (At least hoped) I was.
Went out with a guy for several months not too long ago who played football in high school, as did his father. High school football in our area are, to most, a religion. Jase and I would talk about practices, and how much time and energy both our sports required. He understood about swimming, and I think I enjoyed it that much more because he supported me.
His father, however, once told me that what I considered "Training" was merely "a few lengths of the pool, a little lounging around in your suits by the pool deck, a stop in the hot tub. I know you think it was work, sweetie, but you don't know what a real sport is."
Poor Jason had to physically drag me out of their house, I was so angry.
I could swim the English channel weighted down with concrete cinderblocks and my friends would still call me "the leg shaving speedo wearing freak."
Here's some of the clever fantasy football team names my close friends are currently using:
SpongeBob Speedo Pants
Swimmers Love Nair
Swimmers Stubble in Lycra
Originally posted by IndyGal
It have the opposite problem. My husband panics in anything deeper than a mud puddle, so he thinks I'm a fabulous swimmer. It gets a little embarrassing because he'll tell people what a wonderful swimmer I am, when in reality I'm pretty mediocre.
You are a lucky girl! He's very proud of you and I think that's wonderful.
Originally posted by Jayhawk
My own experience includes being teased by my co-workers for "getting beat by a 70-year-old woman." (This was after a big meet where they viewed my results on the Internet.) This came from men who are at least 50 pounds overweight and can barely walk from their cars to their desks.
you should point out to them that "if a 70 year old woman can beat me, someone who actually trains, imagine what she can do to a man who's greatest athletic acheivement was to do "the wave" at baseball game with a hotdog in one hand and beer in the other!"
Originally posted by aquageek
I've never seen an out-of-shape collegiate cheerleader and I've been very observant of them over the years. Some of those moves and flips are are, um, acrobatic.
Maybe it's time for ...
THE PERFECT CHEER! :) :) :)
Back to the thread topic...
I am fortunate to have a spouse who supports and encourages my swimming. She works out with me almost every day and knows how important it is to me -- and it is just as important to her.
My suggestion for those who belittle someone's swimming: The belittled person should invite the other person to join him/her at the pool. Once they have to put their money where their mouth is, they usually shut up. And if they have the guts to show up, you'll smoke them in the pool. (I know you'll smoke them in the pool because if they're good enough not to get smoked, they wouldn't have belittled your swimming in the first place.)
At work most people would respect somebody who runs 4+ days a week if they look anorexic but when I was training with my Masters group 6 days a week was viewed as "wasting time goofing around in a pool" as if I was just floating on a noodle with a few beers. My project manager chewed me out a few times over my hurry to leave at quitting time. Her thing was running and maybe an aerobics class, and she was a nonswimmer.
If somebody at work is trying to keep me late (without cause) I now tell them that I have "an appointment", NEVER that I want to make a practice. I'd rather make up a story that I am going to AA, anger management class, group therapy, etc than to say I am going to go swim.
There will always be detractors. Ignore them and do your own thing. After my friends and coworkers learned I was serious about swimming they started making comments like, "I can swim but nothing like you, how do you do it?" "I'm amazed." After I told my doc I had 'competed' in a chairty fundraising swim meet, and said, "It was just a charty meet," he said, "Yeah, but its been at least 40 years since I've swam in any type of meet." And one day at the pool, a little kid saw me do a flip turn, I surfaced in front of the guard's stand and heard the kid say to the guard, "Did you see that old lady flip turn?" The guard laughed and said, "Thats not an old lady, that's Elaine." Believe it or not, those little things are very motivating. Listen for them.
