Spouses and Swimming

I have a spouse (actually domestic partner) who not only doesn't swim, but doesn't really exercise (ok, we both ski, but that's 3-4 months a year). While I got back into swimming a little over ten years ago and we are still together, she continues to make snarky comments about how I would rather swim than spend time with her. I swim only about 3-4 days a week, and I am usually gone about 2 hours all together. It's not a deal breaker on either end, but the comments wear thin.

For me, I feel like this is life and death. I was dx with diabetes in my early 50s, which got me back into the sport. It's made a huge difference. I've entered only about 2-3 actual meets a year on average and work out on my own. I've recently been considering joining a team and am afraid this is going to make things worse.

How do folks deal with a non-swimming spouse that isn't that supportive?

Parents
  • It's hard for non-swimmers to understand how important swimming is. It's Complicated by the fact that she doesn't really exercise much. I think you just need to have a talk with her about how swimming is a matter of life or death for you and that if she wants to have you around it would be good if she could support it. 

    What would she rather you do with your time? Looking at what she is passionate about might help with mutual understanding.

    My wife and I basically met in the pool in college and we have been married for over 51 years. She is a swimmer and that really helps, but that doesn't mean that it has always been smooth. I am obsessional about swimming, where as she is more of a reasonable person about it. This has caused conflict. 

Reply
  • It's hard for non-swimmers to understand how important swimming is. It's Complicated by the fact that she doesn't really exercise much. I think you just need to have a talk with her about how swimming is a matter of life or death for you and that if she wants to have you around it would be good if she could support it. 

    What would she rather you do with your time? Looking at what she is passionate about might help with mutual understanding.

    My wife and I basically met in the pool in college and we have been married for over 51 years. She is a swimmer and that really helps, but that doesn't mean that it has always been smooth. I am obsessional about swimming, where as she is more of a reasonable person about it. This has caused conflict. 

Children
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