Spouses and Swimming

I have a spouse (actually domestic partner) who not only doesn't swim, but doesn't really exercise (ok, we both ski, but that's 3-4 months a year). While I got back into swimming a little over ten years ago and we are still together, she continues to make snarky comments about how I would rather swim than spend time with her. I swim only about 3-4 days a week, and I am usually gone about 2 hours all together. It's not a deal breaker on either end, but the comments wear thin.

For me, I feel like this is life and death. I was dx with diabetes in my early 50s, which got me back into the sport. It's made a huge difference. I've entered only about 2-3 actual meets a year on average and work out on my own. I've recently been considering joining a team and am afraid this is going to make things worse.

How do folks deal with a non-swimming spouse that isn't that supportive?

Parents
  • Tough one. You swim more frequently than I do. I’ve been married 30 years this year, and swimming is something I’ve done since long before I met my wife. So it isn’t something that I sprung on her recently. She doesn’t swim either, and I’m not going to try to recruit her to start. But the only time she complains about my swimming (or other fitness activities) is when it interferes with something else that involves her (e.g. plans with couple friends, dinner time, etc.) I’m certainly not a marriage counselor, but have you discussed it with her to figure out exactly what about it bothers her? Frequency; length; time of day; etc. I mean I know you’re probably restricted by lap swim session times at your pool, but it might be possible for you to swim at a different time…while she’s off doing “her thing”…and she won’t notice your absence. 

    Dan

Reply
  • Tough one. You swim more frequently than I do. I’ve been married 30 years this year, and swimming is something I’ve done since long before I met my wife. So it isn’t something that I sprung on her recently. She doesn’t swim either, and I’m not going to try to recruit her to start. But the only time she complains about my swimming (or other fitness activities) is when it interferes with something else that involves her (e.g. plans with couple friends, dinner time, etc.) I’m certainly not a marriage counselor, but have you discussed it with her to figure out exactly what about it bothers her? Frequency; length; time of day; etc. I mean I know you’re probably restricted by lap swim session times at your pool, but it might be possible for you to swim at a different time…while she’s off doing “her thing”…and she won’t notice your absence. 

    Dan

Children
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