Dealing with annoying co-workers

Everyone has annoying co-workers. You can stay and deal with it or you are free to move on to bigger and better things. Those are your choices, so.....................

Luckily I have a private office and a door to shut. People tend to keep to themselves here. She sounds like a poisonous person to be around. doesn't sound to me like she likes her job It's such an imbedded habit she's probably totally unaware or thinks it's her sense of humor. Perhaps you could tape record a few of her rants or Place a hidden video camera / audio recorder. Or better yet place one in full view with the red light on you could keep a journal for a few days of the time and items Maybe she needs therapy Maybe she needs a torrid affair Maybe play the results for the partners and have an intervention or a firing. in the mean time smile and maybe mentally strangle her or chew her out, or keep venting here. ande

Don't even get me started on this one! A teacher in the room adjacent to me has been continually negative for the 6 years I've been here. I'm a pretty happy, positive person at work (because I love the kids I teach and the school we're at is in the top 150 in the nation (out of 120,000!) So it's a good place to be :) She, however, complains non stop about ANYTHING. Ande, I took your advice. A few months ago I did shut and lock my door. The thing is she has no idea why! Fortunately for me it looks like she's getting a room change... to another wing! And the person moving in is a very happy person. :) Nonetheless she will still be in my department so I may end up moving to a middle school closer to my house...

I'm very quiet at work. I say maybe four sentences total in a day. I work next to someone who can't shut up. Luckily, she doesn't goad me into talking since she knows I'm very quiet. Ignoring them is an option. I just stare at the screen all day. Soon I'll be blind from the gamma rays. :D

now heather we don't want you livin too large remember when it comes to fat the greater the supply the less the demand i don't think that will be a problem for you ande Originally posted by SwiminONandON lol ... that's what I am talking about. She tries to make me feel bad about the fact that I eat a lot. I think because she is on a very restricted diet and trying to lose weight (because she used to be really tiny, don't know when 4'10" and 120 was tiny, but ... whatever) I do actually usually respond now with well I work out like six times a week hardcore, so ...

Wow Fishgrrl!, That's a great reply! Sounds like you've learned pretty well how to deal with some tough situations! kudos! I am new to the office scene, I used to work in a lab, and everyone pretty much kept to themselves, I didn't find anyone to be annoying.. However, I now work for the state environmental department in a "cube farm" and there are in fact a few people that stand out in my mind as having been pretty invasive into other people's (i.e. my..) space. One woman here acts a bit like a school bully. She used to creep up behind me in my cube and kick my chair really hard.. she thought it was funny. I didn't know how to voice my concerns so my comments came out sarcastically.. you know.. I really LOVE it when you come in here and kick my chair like that. etc.. and one time she acknowledged that she knew I didn't like it. but she kept doing it anyway. She also used my cube (and many others) to vent her life story on a daily basis, and how everything is unfair and the world is out to get her etc. etc... Finally one day (I couldn't help it) I came up behind her and kicked her chair. I didn't have a bitchy attitude or anything, just said hey.. how's it going? etc.. she finallly at the end of the conversation said btw.. thanks for scaring the Sh@#T out of me!.. lol.. she's never kicked my chair again ;) I don't think that many people realize how it feels to be the other person they're dealing with. I don't think too many people intentionally mean to make others crazy, or try to make people feel badly, I just don't think they take a look outside their own perspective very often. As for the invading of space by others, I've learned to keep my headphones to my computer on, (even if i"m not listening to music), It tends to tell other people that I'm "busy". I also have kept myself pretty busy and that's seemed to help.. I know it's difficult to deal with some people sometimes, but In reality, I think many people act these ways because they have very low self esteem.. I don't think it's ok for them to dump their problems on everyone else, but sometimes knowing the reason behind behavior can help you to figure out how to approach it.. or at least understand it a little better..

Heather I know exactly what you mean! That was the whole reason why I left my last job, nothing but drama from everyone...there was no safe haven. My way, probably not the best but it worked to get me throught until I left, ignore them as much as possible. I avoided at all costs my co-workers and only talked to them when I absolutely had too. I started hanging around the employees I could tolerate more and just tried to stay so busy that I didn't have time to focus on the other people. ~Kyra

Jim, not exactly the answer I was looking for. I was thinking more along the lines of vocal chord removal ... kidding ... I am usually pretty tolerant, or at least tolerant enough. I am out of here in four long months ... *sigh* I try ignoring as much as possible... sometimes it's rough. Sometimes you just need to vent. I just can't stand when people do nothing but complain. I also find it annoying that she is thirty five years older than I am and she is way more petty. As soon as someone we work with leaves the room she starts talking about them ... grow up already ... guess I am not much better though, since I am in essence doing the same thing ... oh well .. .

Originally posted by SwiminONandON Jim, not exactly the answer I was looking for. I was thinking more along the lines of vocal chord removal ... kidding ... I am usually pretty tolerant, or at least tolerant enough. I am out of here in four long months ... *sigh* I try ignoring as much as possible... sometimes it's rough. Sometimes you just need to vent. I just can't stand when people do nothing but complain. I also find it annoying that she is thirty five years older than I am and she is way more petty. As soon as someone we work with leaves the room she starts talking about them ... grow up already ... guess I am not much better though, since I am in essence doing the same thing ... oh well .. . Maybe next time she brings up your eating habits, you can ask her if she's always been this petty and full of anxieties, or if menopause is making her that way. Make a suggestion there's hormones that can help calm that, tell her your mom is taking them and she's gotten a lot better, or some such thing... And act all sweet and concerned about her! ;)

I think a torrid affair is an awesome idea! Seriously though - I feel like I can butt in here because I've worked in offices almost my entire working life - no matter where you go, there will almost always be someone who is annoying and the best thing that I can tell you is that the only thing you have control over is how you deal with it. BUT...that being said...I think that you have the right to tell her how you feel. You can do this in two steps: 1) take her to lunch and talk to her; and find a way to approach her without her getting defensive. Getting her away from the office is smart - actually, I did this once with someone who was a nightmare! I took her to dinner and outright asked her if there was problem between her and I and if so, I would like to hear it. It was a different situation than yours but equally annoying. She said no, so what was I to do? Anyway....it didn't ever work out and I ended up moving on, but sometimes things do work out. Case in point - I work with someone who has been a challenge and we've had two knock down, drag out fights but we've worked it out. I apologized, she apologized and now we can work together fine. The second step, after talking to her, and if it doesn't work, is to talk to her boss. I hate this because it feels sneaky, but not if you talk to her first. Fair warning. What you would say to her boss is that you have tried to talk this out with her but to no avail; it is interfering with your work day, and that you'd like to have it resolved. The third option would be to start looking for another job, but I think you should give talking to her and perhaps her boss a shot. Drama Queen or not, she has no right to be snippy with you. I'VE gotten into trouble for being snippy, so I know that it's not acceptable office behavior. We all have to learn some time about how to deal with a difficult person, and I think this is a great opportunity for you to do that. I sometimes work with snippy professors and I've had to learn to not run to the bathroom crying, but to stand up to them and tell them that while I'd like to help them solve their work related issue, yelling at me will not help and in fact, not appropriate behavior, therefore come back when you feel like having a discussion instead of standing in my office yelling at me. Or something like that.... You don't have to be reduced to blurting out something you might regret saying later. You can control how you behave; you can talk to her and her boss, and you have every right to take up space as she does! So go for it. If you decide to talk to her, I'd even write out what I'd like to say and try it out on a nonpartial party. Good luck.