I think it is sad we have slipped down the slope we call “being civil”. Being away from these posts for the better part of a week has allowed me to look at them in a different light then before. The thoughts and feelings of many of the people who post here are very raw right now. Decency, understanding, compassion, patience and kindness have been lost to pain and anger.
I have learned some very valuable lessons over the past nineteen months. Often, anger is directly driven by pain. I read pain into many of the post here. People have offended one another and tramped on each others toes and people have been hurt emotionally.
Gosh, I am the farthest thing from a counselor or referee for that matter, but I am qualified to say that each of us has good days, and each of us has bad days. Without exception, EVERY SINGLE POSTER was decent, understanding and compassionate towards me during a very tough time in my life. Ion has a way of invoking anger and hostility in people. Having said that, he reached out to me during a very tough time and demonstrated a very different and compassionate side then the one we see here.
My point, in the final annalists we call life, what more do we really have then one another? We are a body of swimmers who share a common bond for the love of swimming and adult exercise in the water. Let us keep to this course as opposed to offending one another and fracturing our beloved sport with pain, hard feelings and anger. We are different, yet, we are the same. We all love our children, we all want to excel in life, we all want to think of ourselves are winners, we all want to be free people, we all want to raise our families and enjoy life as best we can. Regardless of how fast we are, how smart we are or anything else…. in the final toll….we all want and strive for many of the same things. As we all did on playgrounds all over the world as children, let’s shake hands and make up….
Tom, this is why we have missed you! You are the calm voice of reason with a great sense of humor that everyone loves and listens too. I agree wholeheartedly with you. We need to just take a deep breath, step back, and remember why we come to this discussion forum....to learn from each other, encourage each other and share our love of this wonderful sport. Ion definitely pushes my buttons too but, he is entitled to his opinions. I gave up trying to reason with him, it is not worth my valuable time. We agree to disagree and I use my ignore button. It helps me avoid confrontation and anger! ;) Its a win-win situation!
I have been pretty pleased that the 'nastiness' has been confined to one thread. It is too bad that some of the interesting material gets buried in dross.
That said, I feel no need to apologise for other posters, nor do I think that these other posters cast me or all of the other people on this forum in a bad light. All posters represent themselves, only.
Hi,
I too just came back to the Forum after a four year break (and three kids later) and I was shocked to read the posts you mentioned. I must say I got a little "uppity" myself and wrote a very long reply to Ion. For whatever reason I did something wrong and it didn't get posted. The next day I was actually glad...
I teach 6th grade and I tried to imagine what I would do if this situation (these nasty posts or similar undesirable behavior) was going on in my class. I would deal with the situation by reiterating some of the important life skills that we study at school every day: compassion, respect, friendship, and common sense. And then move on.
The older I get, granted I'm only 33, and the more life experiences I have (I've had about 20 traumatic, life changing experiences in the last four years) the more I realize that life really is too short. I'm also learning, recently, not to live in the past (especially where bad memories lurk) and not to live for the future exactly, but to make the most of what you have every day, be thankful, and be happy. I've found the stress has gone away and I'm enjoying life much more.
Just my thoughts... off to change a diaper!! :)
I just started posting here a week or two ago and have only seen one thread where people got a little nasty. I post/posted on many different internet forums.
Just remember it's the internet. People will often lash out at others via a computer. It's just text on a screen and for some people, this loses that personal feel to it. So while somebody may be very pleasent in real life, they may be much more harsh via the internet. A good rule of thumb when on the internet is to have a thick skin.
I for one like heated debates. But when then spiral down to name calling, that helps no one. People will defend their opinions tooth and nail, which is fine. But try to stay civalized about it. That being said, again it never hurts to have thick skin ;)
Originally posted by tjburk
...
I'm sure you'll probably blast me for this....
...
Don't worry.
I won't blast you for this.
We are different.
That's all.
Difference is what makes the world go around! Difference is what keeps us from being bored! Difference is a good thing! Acceptance for being different is what we need!!:D
Originally posted by Phil Arcuni
I have been pretty pleased that the 'nastiness' has been confined to one thread.
...
I remember that when Bert Petersen opened the first thread of the new forum in September 2001 to express relief at the forum not allowing 'Anonymous' untraceable posters anymore, you wrote in it that in contrast to Bert's appreciation you did like the contradictoriness of the old forum.
1.) However, in the old forum the 'Anonymous' posters were doing hit-and-run against me and I wasn't.
That, you liked.
2.) Now, when I confront in kind posters who aren't 'Anonymous' anymore, you call it 'nastiness'.
"What have WE become?"
According to 1.) and 2.), to me, you became something.
