How do you know the difference if you are “Steering” your child to swim vs “Forcing” them to Swim? Daughter has been swimming since 3 and is now 9 (almost 10). She’s had some great moments like winning a Summer League All Star butterfly race when she was 8. But after that, we gave her the choice to do winter league and she didn’t want to (previously she said she had). She still had pretty good summer (before getting sick) and was still on B team for the relays, but it wasn’t the same at age 8. At the end of this summer, she admitted that she should have done some of the swim clinics before the start of the season.
But, now she goes back and forth. One time we will be swimming at the pool, and she asks if I think she’ll be in Lane 3 (fast lane). Then recently she said that she didn’t want to be competitive and only “liked” swimming.
In Jan – Feb 2018, I do have her signed up for some swim clinics. So 1x a week for 6 weeks. But, should we do more swimming after? A part of me thinks she needs some private lessons as her technique has eroded due to not being in classes/team. But, should I do that if it doesn’t matter to her?!? I mean she can swim.
I've seen her flip-flop about wanting to swim and not quite sure if she gets the effort. For example, she set a new PB in Fly this summer and was disappointed she didn’t get a ribbon – she was against 10 year olds that were fast. Well, geez, should have done the stroke clinics before the season like I said. I don’t think she’s fully grasped that the “separation is in the preparation” (to quote Russell Wilson).
I’m trying not to be a crazy parent. I want her to get the health benefit from swimming. She loves ballet and performing – I see her on the stage. But, she is going to need the exercise from swimming to keep in shape.
I feel like it was easier when she was younger and we would just take her to class 1x a week to learn to swim.
Any Advice? I’ve thought about asking her if she has goals for next summer. At times, I think we just sign her up for some lessons/stroke clinic (from March – May) where she should just swim 1 – 2 times per week (would that be “forcing”). Or do I wait and see how she responds to the Stroke Clinics, that I signed her up for in Jan- Feb?
Thoughts?
DanceDaddy
#tryingnottobecrazy
Oh, I agree with this. She just happens to be good at it. And I'm not trying to push her into year-round swimming. More that she's had some early success if she wants it to continue, then she needs to swim.
I do think this is part of my point with me wanting my daughter to figure it out. The average 12 year old year-round swimmer could be competitive with an 18 year old summer league swimmer.
Summer league is a crap shoot, almost. Any semi-athletic kid can get in there and with fair technique swim a 50 yard sprint fast. How do they do with a 400IM or a 200FLy? That's a different scenario.
Furthermore, fewer than 10% of kids nationally ranked at 10 are nationally ranked at 17. Early success is not an indicator of future success. Anecdotally, my daughter was the slowest kid, not only on the team, but in the pool at 8 (year round team). Over 2 minutes to do a 100 free. By 10 she was top 10 in the LSC. By 12 she was top 25 in the nation in her events, and fastest in the LSC in them, as well. Half of those girls who were faster than her at 8 have quit the sport entirely. Others no longer swim year-round, only summer. Another took a year to figure out how she got passed, then buckled down, and she and my daughter are now making each other that much faster. In many ways the kids who are just naturally fast are at a disadvantage - they don't have to work hard, and those who do will pass them.
You need to let her figure out what she wants to do. No kid on Earth can be the best at everything they try. I have seen some kids be pushed to try that in academics, arts, and athletics. It is just not possible. And then the parents get frustrated when their kid isn't the best at something. I would highly advise you to take a step back. SHE has to want to do it.
She is YOUNG. Seriously. One of our former coaches was a Summer Wonder, and didn't start year-round until she was 12. At 13, she was a Junior Nationals swimmer, and an Olympic Trial swimmer at 17. D-1 full ride. Again, she didn't start year-round until she was 12.
Then there are other kids who are the opposite. One whose parents I have met had their 12 year old Olympic trialer quit at 12. I don't know details, but it wasn't her passion, no matter how good she was at it.
You just need to support her in what she does. And let her decide what her priorities are. If she wants to swim, support her. If she doesn't, she will not put in the work it takes to be an elite swimmer. You can make her go to practice and all of the meets, but you can't swim the races for her. Success in this sport takes a LOT of very, very hard work. You have to be bought in on your own to do it. Another anecdote......my fast daughter has an identical twin who also swims. She isn't as passionate about it, and is an A swimmer to her sister's AAAA.
Oh, I agree with this. She just happens to be good at it. And I'm not trying to push her into year-round swimming. More that she's had some early success if she wants it to continue, then she needs to swim.
I do think this is part of my point with me wanting my daughter to figure it out. The average 12 year old year-round swimmer could be competitive with an 18 year old summer league swimmer.
Summer league is a crap shoot, almost. Any semi-athletic kid can get in there and with fair technique swim a 50 yard sprint fast. How do they do with a 400IM or a 200FLy? That's a different scenario.
Furthermore, fewer than 10% of kids nationally ranked at 10 are nationally ranked at 17. Early success is not an indicator of future success. Anecdotally, my daughter was the slowest kid, not only on the team, but in the pool at 8 (year round team). Over 2 minutes to do a 100 free. By 10 she was top 10 in the LSC. By 12 she was top 25 in the nation in her events, and fastest in the LSC in them, as well. Half of those girls who were faster than her at 8 have quit the sport entirely. Others no longer swim year-round, only summer. Another took a year to figure out how she got passed, then buckled down, and she and my daughter are now making each other that much faster. In many ways the kids who are just naturally fast are at a disadvantage - they don't have to work hard, and those who do will pass them.
You need to let her figure out what she wants to do. No kid on Earth can be the best at everything they try. I have seen some kids be pushed to try that in academics, arts, and athletics. It is just not possible. And then the parents get frustrated when their kid isn't the best at something. I would highly advise you to take a step back. SHE has to want to do it.
She is YOUNG. Seriously. One of our former coaches was a Summer Wonder, and didn't start year-round until she was 12. At 13, she was a Junior Nationals swimmer, and an Olympic Trial swimmer at 17. D-1 full ride. Again, she didn't start year-round until she was 12.
Then there are other kids who are the opposite. One whose parents I have met had their 12 year old Olympic trialer quit at 12. I don't know details, but it wasn't her passion, no matter how good she was at it.
You just need to support her in what she does. And let her decide what her priorities are. If she wants to swim, support her. If she doesn't, she will not put in the work it takes to be an elite swimmer. You can make her go to practice and all of the meets, but you can't swim the races for her. Success in this sport takes a LOT of very, very hard work. You have to be bought in on your own to do it. Another anecdote......my fast daughter has an identical twin who also swims. She isn't as passionate about it, and is an A swimmer to her sister's AAAA.
