How do you know the difference if you are “Steering” your child to swim vs “Forcing” them to Swim? Daughter has been swimming since 3 and is now 9 (almost 10). She’s had some great moments like winning a Summer League All Star butterfly race when she was 8. But after that, we gave her the choice to do winter league and she didn’t want to (previously she said she had). She still had pretty good summer (before getting sick) and was still on B team for the relays, but it wasn’t the same at age 8. At the end of this summer, she admitted that she should have done some of the swim clinics before the start of the season.
But, now she goes back and forth. One time we will be swimming at the pool, and she asks if I think she’ll be in Lane 3 (fast lane). Then recently she said that she didn’t want to be competitive and only “liked” swimming.
In Jan – Feb 2018, I do have her signed up for some swim clinics. So 1x a week for 6 weeks. But, should we do more swimming after? A part of me thinks she needs some private lessons as her technique has eroded due to not being in classes/team. But, should I do that if it doesn’t matter to her?!? I mean she can swim.
I've seen her flip-flop about wanting to swim and not quite sure if she gets the effort. For example, she set a new PB in Fly this summer and was disappointed she didn’t get a ribbon – she was against 10 year olds that were fast. Well, geez, should have done the stroke clinics before the season like I said. I don’t think she’s fully grasped that the “separation is in the preparation” (to quote Russell Wilson).
I’m trying not to be a crazy parent. I want her to get the health benefit from swimming. She loves ballet and performing – I see her on the stage. But, she is going to need the exercise from swimming to keep in shape.
I feel like it was easier when she was younger and we would just take her to class 1x a week to learn to swim.
Any Advice? I’ve thought about asking her if she has goals for next summer. At times, I think we just sign her up for some lessons/stroke clinic (from March – May) where she should just swim 1 – 2 times per week (would that be “forcing”). Or do I wait and see how she responds to the Stroke Clinics, that I signed her up for in Jan- Feb?
Thoughts?
DanceDaddy
#tryingnottobecrazy
Have you asked her if there are other sports she might like to try? My niece went through several sports, including swimming, before finding one that she really enjoys. You shouldn't have to force fun on a kid, IMHO.
Have you asked her if there are other sports she might like to try? My niece went through several sports, including swimming, before finding one that she really enjoys. You shouldn't have to force fun on a kid, IMHO.
Totally agree. My youngest had decided that she liked the practices, but hated the all day meets. She had started with the Y programs from age 7 and moved up to USA swimming by 10. ...This was a hard one for the coach, because she was very gifted, but he insisted that they all must go to the meets. Driving two hours (each way) to sit around all day for a 50 yard event, and then wait another hour and a half for the next one, just sucked all the fun out of this. She eventually joined the high school team which was much more fun and more rewarding.
A long story short, swimming is either something your child will either completely love, or eventually shy away from. When they dread the early practices or the two hour sessions after school, you know that it just might not be their thing. The kids who are born to do this masochistic sport simply live for it. ...that's how I felt about it anyway. :) and still do, 40 plus years later.
It was interesting at 8 (when all this great swim stuff was happening), she started talking about Gymnastics. And she was watching all these level 9 kid gymnastics on youtube. So this past summer, we send her to a camp at a Gymnastics academy and she didn't like it. In the fall, we had her goto class 1 day a week and most weeks she hated it! The semester has finished and she's done.
She did take an after school Yoga class, which she liked. I do want to see her go back and do some of that.
As mentioned, she loves her ballet and dance. She's in 4 classes a week and was in 2 nutcrackers.
The thing she is missing is an aerobic work-out. She has like zero interest in "ball" sports. If she rode her bike, then we could just ride her bike.
So what to do?
She actually seems to like summer league and being with her neighborhood friends. Like I said, there is disappointments, if she doesn't get some ribbons. But, too get ribbons you actually have to swim outside of 6 weeks in the summer!
One of the challenges with Winter league, is they offer practice 3 times a week, but most kids (like my dd) only came 2 times. Hence, she really didn't get a chance to bond with the other kids. And I also think all the kids (70 or so) really kinda freaked my daughter out. She's very comfortable in dance class with at most a dozen girls.
In some ways, I do see her shying away from it. I just don't know if that time is now or in the future. And do I "force" or "guide" her to do some swimming in March?
Have you asked her if there are other sports she might like to try? My niece went through several sports, including swimming, before finding one that she really enjoys. You shouldn't have to force fun on a kid, IMHO.
She started talking about Gymnastics when she was 8 (when all these great swim things were happening), so she went to a camp at a Gymnastics academy and didn't like it. Then we had her take a class 1x a week which was like pulling teeth. Thank fully the semester is done and she's done with Gymnastics.
We've tried some "ball" sports and she hasn't liked them. She did do an afterschool Yoga class that she liked.
She loves her ballet and dancing.
Just need to get her some aerobic activity and yes, swimming is something she's good at.
You may have already given yourself the answer... Unfortunately swimming is not like soccer where "everyone is a winner" just because some hapless kid managed to kick the ball through the goal after both teams spent two hours of running around in circles. It's an individual sport where the agony of defeat and/or the joy of victory is based purely on one's own efforts. The sad part of reality is that not all participants receive a ribbon or medal. A fact of life lesson, and perhaps a good one.
Regarding the other comments, it sounds as if a smaller group setting is more within her comfort zone rather the the often raucous atmosphere of the pool facility - which always sounds much louder based on the acoustics of most swim centers.
At the end of the day, it's wonderful that your child is engaged in an activity which she enjoys. Let her decide if the swimming is for her by suggesting it - rather than telling her. There are definitely options in that she might enjoy synchronized-swimming, particularly if she enjoys dance. If you wanted to coax her, a positive benefit to being an adept swimmer is that she can always get a lifeguard job when old enough. Those are often the best high school summer jobs ever, particularly on the ocean.
...Sometimes parental motivation is good, but just because we may like something doesn't necessarily mean that our children will take to it. good luck!
Oh, if there Synchronized Swimming club wasn't a 45 minute drive, then that would be something we could try.
You do bring up a good point about lifeguarding, because this is something that she has even mentioned.
To your point about the "smaller setting", I think if she does swim she should try the Y program. As they break kids into different training groups. Hence, she might be more comfortable.
